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ToniTone

Threatened on the street

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ToniTone

Cw: hate speech, violence. I'll try to be non-triggering and subtle with my telling of what happened... 

 

 

 

 

 

So a couple nights ago at around 7:30pm, I had just got off work and was walking downtown to my bus stop to get home. I was dressed out and made up as I regularly do now. 

 

This man started following me and shouted "You're a little b-! I'll f- you up, you little b-!". I flicked him off and kept walking, he kept following. He said "Flick me off again, see what happen!" So I turned around, flicked him off again with more gusto and shouted something like "Yeah, I am that b-! And if you don't step back, I'll leave where I find you! F- off!" He kept mumbling threatening things and following more slowly. I picked up my pace and got to my bus stop safely. 

 

I wouldn't recommend responding the way I did. I learned Muay Thai and been a lot of fights on the street when I was younger. Part of me wished he would've tried something so I could drop him right there. I definitely felt that dormant, raging beast in me creeping out. But I'm trying to grow more soft, calm and peaceful in my transition. And of course I didn't want to risk getting hurt. So I could've handled it better, but at least I didn't get physically attacked or hurt. 

 

I don't know what to say else. It kinda has me shook and provoked. I know trans women are susceptible to attack. But now I'm real aware of it personally. I'm going to be more careful from now on...

 

Stay safe lovely's 💕

~Toni

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SaraAW

I’m glad to hear you are okay and it didn’t come to violence. I would imagine that would be a very scary encounter regardless of training.  Stay safe. 
 

*hugs*
 

Sara

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ToniTone

Thanks Sara! 💗

 

It was kinda scary. It had me shook up and on edge. It was a relief to get home safe.

 

It was the first threat I recieved. I can only hope it won't happen again, but I doubt it's the last. I'm gonna keep transitioning and being the woman I am, and the world is gonna continue to have jerks in it... 

It's a cruel world out there. 

 

Just please, whatever you do, stay safe lovely's 💕

~Toni

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VickySGV

I have been in that kind of situation myself and know the Adrenalin withdrawal routine very well.  Women do get to see the worst from males. Even though you say you have martial arts training, I would still suggest a women's self defense class to get you used to a female reaction to things.  Texas just had a really ugly case where the attacker of a Trans woman tried to get a lesser sentence because "it was two males fighting" and not a male attacking a female.  I am glad you did come-out of it with only a stress headache.

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Carolyn Marie

Toni, like the others have said, I'm so glad that you are safe.  Have you seen that jerk before in that area?  You could report it to the police (not necessarily for a report, but more for their awareness that there is a problem in that neighborhood).

 

One thing I do, and recommend, is to carry Mace or pepper spray as a defensive weapon.  You should still do as you did and find safety, but if you don't have that option, or are physically attacked, it can be very effective.  But I don't know if Minnesota allows folks to carry that.  Bear repellent is an even more effective type of Mace.  I've carried some in my bag for years and never had to use it, but its comforting to know its there.  Stay safe, hon.

 

Carolyn Marie

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ToniTone

Thanks y'all! 

 

It's kinda a problem area for riffraff, but it's also high traffic downtown. I can probably avoid that particular stretch of street without being too inconvenienced. 

 

I actually helped teach a self-defense course for women! I was the one wearing foot thick padding getting kicked in the groin, lol!

 

I don't know if it's legal here or not, but alot of people carry pepper spray here, alot of smoke shops sell it. I've even heard police officers verbally approve of women carrying it. My gf does after she got attacked. I'm pretty sure bear mace is illegal here.

 

There's this small keychain device I want to get for my gf and me. When one presses the button, it makes a like 180 dB loud screaming siren as a detterent and alert. 

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ToniTone

I'm trying to not need to resort to my old offensive style fighting and skills. 

 

I want what we all want to exist and live our lives in peace... 

 

~Toni

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Charlize

I'm pretty good at backpedaling as the best defense.  Over time i've found running causes fewer injuries than confrontation.

It is a pity that some men seem to feel they can say and do what they want when dealing with women.  45 is certainly an example of that mindset.  

While carrying weapons could help as a final resort the chances of hurting others or being hurt myself makes prudence preferable.

I'm fortunate to be able to avoid situations where i'm threatened and a woman that seems necessary.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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TammyAnne

Just a word of caution about carrying mace or pepper spray: once temperatures get cold, the spray does not atomize well and is much less effective. Using your head and staying alert is still the best defensive weapon.

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NB Adult

A can of hair spray is quite effective, better yet is the wasp spray that shoots up to 20 feet, either one that gets in an attacker's eyes will result in his trip to the nearest ER and neither of them is considered a weapon.

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ToniTone

Thank you for your advice y'all! I agree, avoiding and escaping dangerous situations is the best course of action if it's possible. 

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