Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Body shame is it a real thing?


Moira Arista

Recommended Posts

Hello. I don't know about anyone else but does body shame plague you, it does me. I've always known that I was supposed to be a female. I knew the first time I saw a vagina. I hate penises. I hate the fact that I have one. I stopped looking down there a decade or so ago when I shower. I feel a mark of shame when I look at it. I say to myself why! Penises are so  ugly and for us trans females completely unnecessary as we will never use them. Also for our trans Male friends a vagina does them no good either I feel.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Oh my god yes. Not only do I not like my... well, didn't, it's been better since I started transitioning... right, ashamed by my own body and feel absolutely skeeved out about showing it to other people. Locker-room time had me feeling like a frog on a highway. The first time I was able to recline in a way that obscured my "equipment" made me happy-cry.

 

As a lesbian, I also agree about the penis thing. Some people like them, and I'm happy that my wife isn't repulsed by mine. Still looking forward to GCS though. I am so looking forward to being right.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

For me the shame of an over all male appearance gets to me.  I want to see that women in the mirror when I look into one.  I know this can happen with make up, wigs, clothing but I am talking about just me.  No artwork not accessories.  I dnt see her I still see just "him" and I hate that.

As for my genitals, I am neither ok nor hating them.  They are a means to an end for now.  Though I do not like to stand and pee even though I can.  My size is small and this can be a trial sometimes.  It still seems to work in the bedroom but I tend to not go that far lately as I can satisfy my wife in ways she prefers better.  I would like it better if "it" wasn't there to be truthful.

Link to comment

Wait awhile if you think it's small now, it will really atrophy after awhile. After my surgical neutering I had a tough time even finding the little monster, sitting to pee became a must. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Exactly, I don't need it to satisfy my wife and after menopause... sort of... it's complicated... she has trouble with penetrative sex anyway. I always preferred foreplay to the actual act anyway. Most of my joy comes from pleasing my partner anyway. If I just wanted an orgasm, I can do that by myself.

 

I'm still excited to have my genitals renovated though. That will be a tremendous relief.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

I can totally relate Jackie! What was really frustrating to me was once we settled on the fact that she was no longer interested in penetrative sex and that I was free to have an orchiectomy. Following my surgery she visited a naturopathic doctor who put her on bio-identical HRT to help her with ongoing hot flashes. Suddenly she became hotter than a firecracker and wanted sex again. *Moan* It took some innovative remedies until she got past the intense desire and decided that a certain little toy was more than sufficient.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Most of my joy comes from pleasing my partner anyway

This has always been my feelings too.  
 

Link to comment

It's what makes us different during intimacy from the male populace who are like drag sedans going through the lights at the end of the quarter mile while the partner has just barely started to get her motor purring.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, NB Adult said:

It's what makes us different during intimacy from the male populace who are like drag sedans going through the lights at the end of the quarter mile while the partner has just barely started to get her motor purring.

That is a very interesting way to put it. It is accurate as men feel like they must just bang away till they get off. I love cars so this made me laugh out loud. Men are quarter mile sexual beings while we girls are more like, a Antique Ferrari. We need warming up. The warmer we are the better. Foreplay is that warming up process. We like foreplay. Quality not efficiency for us. At least for me.

Link to comment
42 minutes ago, Mahaney said:

That is a very interesting way to put it. It is accurate as men feel like they must just bang away till they get off. I love cars so this made me laugh out loud. Men are quarter mile sexual beings while we girls are more like, a Antique Ferrari. We need warming up. The warmer we are the better. Foreplay is that warming up process. We like foreplay. Quality not efficiency for us. At least for me.

 

Absolutely true and unfortunately most men don't get it and part of it is because by nature they are emotionally distant which makes that, the most important part of the connection missing entirely, and so the rest is just all the outward mechanics of sex. A lot of women are frustrated by it, while their men are oblivious. Kind of sad really!

Link to comment
43 minutes ago, NB Adult said:

 

Absolutely true and unfortunately most men don't get it and part of it is because by nature they are emotionally distant which makes that, the most important part of the connection missing entirely, and so the rest is just all the outward mechanics of sex. A lot of women are frustrated by it, while their men are oblivious. Kind of sad really!

If a man or women with a strap wanted to have intercourse with me I would be like ok start the process. I probably wouldn't have to tell my lesbian lover. My male lover would have to be told. Eh, you don't get in the backdoor with out jiggling the lock first.

Link to comment
43 minutes ago, Mahaney said:

If a man or women with a strap wanted to have intercourse with me I would be like ok start the process. I probably wouldn't have to tell my lesbian lover. My male lover would have to be told. Eh, you don't get in the backdoor with out jiggling the lock first.

 

LOL yes indeed!

Link to comment

Also, in the body shame category is body hair for us girls/no hair for you guys. Thanks to my Asian roots, I have less hair then most cisgender women I know. I have noticed a few hairs in non female appropriate areas. My facial hair shames me as does my apple. other then that dolphin smooth and hopefully to stay that way.

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Mahaney said:

Men are quarter mile sexual beings

Lol

I wish I was 1/4 mile dash!!!!
I was more like 40yrd dash.

I had zero sexual “stamina “.  I joke about it now but it was a real issue for me.  
I wasn’t about self gratification.  I just couldn’t “last” that long.  So I adopted a more female approach to sex in way way more foreplay and then still very little intercoarse    Most women I had slept with did not mind.  Though that wasn’t a lot.  Lol

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Mahaney said:

Also, in the body shame category is body hair for us girls/no hair for you guys. Thanks to my Asian roots, I have less hair then most cisgender women I know. I have noticed a few hairs in non female appropriate areas. My facial hair shames me as does my apple. other then that dolphin smooth and hopefully to stay that way.

 

I recall most of the Vietnamese women I knew had very little if any pubic hair, don't ask me how I know *Blush*

That may have been true for the men as well.

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Nivegnal said:

Lol

I wish I was 1/4 mile dash!!!!
I was more like 40yrd dash.

I had zero sexual “stamina “.  I joke about it now but it was a real issue for me.  
I wasn’t about self gratification.  I just couldn’t “last” that long.  So I adopted a more female approach to sex in way way more foreplay and then still very little intercoarse    Most women I had slept with did not mind.  Though that wasn’t a lot.  Lol

I hadn't thought about any of this much until I saw this topic. That is, not consciously.

Mine is very small. I asked a therapist once why if God were omnipotent he would have a penis? They're such unruly things. In the shame department, having an erection  (which thankfully I've not had in years) and very furry body hair give me full red faced burning shame.

I understand about the foreplay as a contrast to how men think and act. There's aroused and then there's AROUSED. Unfortunately men seem to think getting our attention with a slight tickle to get our attention is enough, when they would be very pleased with the results of actually getting us full blown turned on.

My stamina, like yours, was often a 20 yard dash. Now I find I could lay there in total ecstasy for hours.

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 103 Guests (See full list)

    • Susan R
    • VickySGV
    • MaybeRob
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...