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NB Adult

Sexual Intimacy With A Spouse

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NB Adult

So often many MtF transitioners who have had GRS or an Orchiectomy find that their libido has tanked which in turn becomes a big disappointment to the female gendered spouse. Living alone with a disinterested spouse can be a very lonely experience for her and result in an eventual breakup. Speaking as one who has dealt with my own sexual lethargy, I finally decided to push myself to make it work for her. This is a bit TMI but when talking to two young lesbian women living close by, they were curious about how we managed given that my male hard drive apparatus is missing. I said, "You know how it works!" Lots of time spent in physical TLC followed by Tribbing and Toys. They looked at each other and smiled in approval. We don't have to quit and withdraw into a selfish little world and risk losing the love of our life. It takes a little effort, eventually it results in a reformatting of our own brain libido and it becomes quite pleasant.

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Jackie C.

Honestly, I find the relaxed sex drive quite pleasant. I can actually think. It's less than it was, but it never went away. My spouse and I are more sexually compatible when everything was, "Operational and Online." The role reversal is a little weird though. Once she gets me going, I'm the one that wants to hang around in bed and cuddle (God as my witness, one day we WILL have my all-day cuddle party). Once she's done, she's more likely to get up and go run errands. On the one hand I'm a little sad. On the other hand, Karma. It helps me realize how awful I was on T.

 

As far as the actual act, I really prefer the slow burn to the frantic pace of how things used to be. It's easier to listen to my partner and her body. There's no rushing, no hurry. We get there when we get there. Then we cuddle some more.

 

Goodness. That woke the ladies up. So yeah, our libido is fine where it is. I'd say improved.

 

As an aside, I tell people the same thing: Penis? I've got one in the nightstand.

 

Hugs!

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NB Adult

LOL good comments Jackie, we can relate big time lady!

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ShawnaLeigh

For us it has been this way from the start.  I was never a great male lover.  I could get it done, have kids to prove it, but it didn't go very long.  I adopted a more feminine regiment while engaging with my wife.  FAR longer foreplay and little intercourse at the end.  She ends up with multiples and I am very satisfied.  She has told me she had never had a vaginal O before so I am doing something right.  Though it took years for me to achieved this for her she had never complained.  Like Jackie said, "listen" to her body and go slow.

I also say run what you brung...  LOL

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SaraAW

Also similar. I have always focused on her and made sure the foreplay was the largest part. As I am letting more of me shine through, I’m becoming a major cuddled too. Even on the couch watching television in the evening, I just want to snuggle and cuddle. 
 

*hugs*

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Maid In Bedlam

Sex is so overrated

 

Me and my partner could have sex every night if we wanted but we don't. Nice cuddle and a few kisses and maybe some conversation is far more stimulating.

 

Plus. We are both falling asleep by 8 in the evening. I doubt if we even have the energy 😊

 

There is much more desirable intimacy than the actual act.

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ShawnaLeigh
41 minutes ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

Sex is so overrated

 

Me and my partner could have sex every night if we wanted but we don't. Nice cuddle and a few kisses and maybe some conversation is far more stimulating.

 

Plus. We are both falling asleep by 8 in the evening. I doubt if we even have the energy 😊

 

There is much more desirable intimacy than the actual act.

This was basically our life for the past few years.  Sex was very seldom but we spent so much quality time together and created a nice comfortable routine of dinner and tv and our pets.  She has never said NO to me as far as sex and never asks for it either so its clearly as a non issue for her as it is for me.

As for bed.  Same.  8pm lights out.  BUT our 4 dogs sleep in between us so there is no midnight hanky panky for sure...

 

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NB Adult
4 hours ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

Sex is so overrated

 

Me and my partner could have sex every night if we wanted but we don't. Nice cuddle and a few kisses and maybe some conversation is far more stimulating.

 

Plus. We are both falling asleep by 8 in the evening. I doubt if we even have the energy 😊

 

There is much more desirable intimacy than the actual act.

 

Uh -yeah, we are a lot alike in that respect, probably age related to a certain extent. We go to sleep around 8PM and I'm up at 5 every morning, should have been a chicken farmer I suppose. 

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