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How am I supposed to deal with the kids in my class


Clara

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Right now I'm still in high school, and I'm taking a welding course at a technical school (unladylike I know, but its a means to an end). The kids in my high school are wonderful, all of them are accepting, using my preferred name, using my pronouns etc. The real problem is the kids in the tech school, they constantly harass me, I often times get things thrown at me (tin foil, paper, welding rods). they are also just nasty to me in general, making comments, acting hostile, patronizing me. I try speaking with the teachers about it but that kind of just makes them dislike me more... Im just getting tired of it...

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  • Forum Moderator

Oh hey, I went to technical school in High School too. A million years ago... but it happened. (It was a course in COBOL and RPG II programming if you were curious, we had an IBM System 36 to code on. Why do I remember that?)

 

I have no good advice here. Kids that age are just the worst. The kids that were doing automotive and welding were extra bad. That magical combination of too much testosterone and insufficient supervision just brings out the absolute worse in the male animal at that age. On the plus side, most of them outgrow it. Most of them.

 

Your best bet is to not feed the trolls until they get bored and go back to daring each other into feats of self-mutilation (<-- I so wish I was making this up). It sucks, but if the teacher is unwilling or unable to keep order in the zoo your options are basically quit or suck it up. You might win a little respect that way. Maybe.

 

I so wish I had better advice, but sadly life does not run on after-school-special rules. (Do they still have those? I bet they're just Disney movies now.)

 

Hugs!

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  • Admin

If they are throwing the stuff you mention around in an active shop, they are committing industrial safety violations that the teacher MUST correct by Federal OSHA law.  If the teacher reams them out on that point it is the teacher's duty and they can make that point.  I still do "male" stuff including metal work and wood work so it is not anything I would question about your being trans,. Good notice to the screw-up types that they would get fired and kicked from unions for that type of baloney in paid jobs is fine for them.

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  • Admin

Clara, ignoring the abuse is dangerous; it could make the other students feel empowered to go even further in their bullying, perhaps as far as physically attacking you.  Second, as Vicky said, what they are doing now is making that "classroom" a dangerous place where you or anyone else standing around might get hurt.

 

What they are doing is bullying you.  I believe that every school in every state has rules and/or education code laws that prohibit bullying.  If the teacher won't look out for you, then you or your parents need to notify the school, in writing, that this is going on, and demand that it be stopped.  Standing up for yourself may not win you many friends, but it will keep you safe(r).

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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Stand up for yourself but do it in a way that is smart .  If the school has camera , have them through stuff at you so it can be filmed .  The bully in the end is a coward , remember that , cool now in some ways for the small circle they live in ,  but years in the future the real loser of the future .  

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On 11/4/2019 at 4:07 PM, VickySGV said:

If they are throwing the stuff you mention around in an active shop, they are committing industrial safety violations that the teacher MUST correct by Federal OSHA law.

My teacher has corrected it, they have stopped it in the shop and has now been relegated to the classroom, had a piece of breaad hit me in the back of the neck

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/5/2019 at 9:22 PM, Clara said:

My teacher has corrected it, they have stopped it in the shop and has now been relegated to the classroom, had a piece of breaad hit me in the back of the neck

is there any way for you to report this to a higher staff, like the principal? this should never happen to anyone. if the school doesn't deal with it, try your parents/carers if you can, or there is usually a committee thing for anti-bullying somewhere

 

good luck ?

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  • 3 months later...

I remember those horrible  times... I ended up dropping out of school, getting a GED, then finishing my diploma in Adult School then went on to a community college then University majoring in CS.

 

My heart goes out to you; I feel what you're going through since this very thing happened from the 4th grade onward. I wouldn't recommend going my route since one loses valuable time accomplishing goals, but I highly recommend using the existing powers that be to fight the battles for you if possible because the important thing is for you not to be isolated (they're hoping you'll do just that so it makes tormenting you easier). It's a power game, so it's important to have the rules and institutional power on your side so you can use them. Be strategic and learn all your options. Document everything, and like one person said: use the cameras to your advantage. Evidence is important.

 

Trust me when I say that this sort of skill will be critical once you're in the workforce, as unfortunately bullying doesn't end in school. Those who understand the rules the best, while acquiring allies ultimately win the power game.

 

It might sound weird, but allow yourself moments alone where you can express your frustration. Before I used to bottle up my emotions, as they were often used against me, but that only caused long-term damage that I am still trying to recover from. Take moments to draw, write, cry, meditate, and so on. Allow yourself to process and to feel.

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On 11/14/2019 at 4:56 PM, AnnaD said:

is there any way for you to report this to a higher staff, like the principal? this should never happen to anyone. if the school doesn't deal with it, try your parents/carers if you can, or there is usually a committee thing for anti-bullying somewhere

 

good luck ?

I agree with appealing to higher up the authority ladder, but do so in writing, such as an email or registered mail. If, god forbid, the higher ups do nothing, you'll have documentation of the harrassment and your attempts to get the staff to do their jobs if things get bad enough to litigate. 

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Or, if you're in a passive aggressive mood, you could cc a local lawyer's office. 

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  • Admin

Just a reminder to folks that this thread is four months old, and the OP hasn't posted again in that time span.

 

Carolyn Marie

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