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Lucca

Hello!

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Lucca

Hi! I'm an MTF transgender woman in my mid-twenties, just starting to be publicly out. I'm here to talk about my experiences and ask for advice, and anything else that may come to mind. Just wanted to make an introduction prior to making my first in-depth thread :).

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Krisvm

Hi Lucca,

 

Thanks for saying hi and welcome aboard.

 

Love and hugs,

 

Kris

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BrandiBri

Welcome Lucca. Ask any questions you may have 

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ToniTone

Hi, and welcome! You came to the right place 💗

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Jani

Welcome Lucca.  Please ask whatever questions you might have.  We'll all do our best to address them.

 

Jani

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SaraAW

Welcome!  There is a great variation of experience and paths of transition, so if you have questions, I’m sure there are bound to be good answers. 
 

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ShawnaLeigh

Welcome to our family!  This is a wonderful place to open up and ask away.  Tons of experience here and I promise you, you will find answers and experiences that are similar to your own.  I did and it still amazes me.  No matter what I ask it is answered in the greatest of respect, love, and support.  "You are not alone" was the biggest reward for finding this forum for me.

This place feels like it has saved my life.

 

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Timber Wolf

Hi Lucca,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug, 

Timber Wolf 🐾

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  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 59 Guests (See full list)

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  • Posts

    • MaryMary
      For me it moved from "he" to "her" at some point without me totally understanding why exactly. One thing to keep in mind is that many people who work in public job will actually be thoughtful and avoid using those pronouns if they are not sure. Maybe that's what you are experiencing. Maybe your voice is now in the "androgynous" range and people are more careful?   It's funny because in french it's very much part of a certain "etiquette". I found out that if I call in more serious institutions like banks or government  they tend to call people "madame" or "monsieur". I don't know if it's like that in the usa? Maybe try that, try calling a bank, lol   anyway, good luck in your quest
    • Shay
      drum roll please......introducing the all new and improved....Kylie....
    • Shay
      I posted a request on the "achieving Feminine Voice" but I got no responses - I wanted to test my progress on my voice feminization exercises and making random calls to some stores and  a hair salon to see if they think I am female from my voice on the phone. I tried but no one used ma'am or any language to let me know if they thought I was female. I even tried a hair salon and said I'd have to check with my husband about taking me and that didn't work either.   Any experience and how you used phrases or something to draw out if they thought you were a girl?   Thank You,   Shay    
    • Ka
      Hello -   Scanning through the recent posts, I can see I’m in good company.    So. My spouse started identifying as trans last winter - in identity, name and pronouns. He’s already had a double mastectomy for other reasons - and no replacements - and masculine/male clothing came before that.    I just didn’t realize he actually wanted to take T. He went through the thought process, decision, doctor appointment and decision with the doctor without telling me. The prescription was sent to the pharmacy before I knew, and the injection was the next day after he told me. That was a week and a half ago, so there has been a second injection too.    I feel really down on myself for struggling with it all. I feel like I should have realized it was coming and that I should be more at ease with it, because he’s so far along already. I’m determined not to be someone who impedes someone else’s self and happiness. So I try not to talk about my difficulties too much. Then I blurt something out because I’ve stuffed my feelings in and they can’t stay there.    I believe I would be connected with and attracted to him if I met him after transition, but how do you go through letting go of parts of the person you chose before transition?  How do you deal with a difference in the face of someone you’re used to looking at so often?  How do you accept being left out of the process that got him to this point?   Ka
    • Leah
      Me too, Kay. I live alone now, and due to Covid, I'm dressing femme most of every day and night. It has evolved from a turn on to  a habitual and natural part of my normal routine. The thought of HRT has crossed my mind, but at 76 with the entire list of Covid-adverse medical conditions, I doubt they'd Rx it. I'd like to experience the shifts in emotional outlook they talk about. To me, being in a more feminine frame of mind sounds very mellow. My big question is whether these feelings will continue evolving toward increasing femininity, or do they plateau and become my default status quo? Continuing evolution would be good, but the hassles that seem to come with transitioning sound daunting.
    • Confusedconfusedconfused
      100%. I don't feel any rush to make big decisions. I'm seeing a gender specialist now and my first step was to ask my closest friends to refer to me as he/him and Jude. Nothing further until I gain more knowledge and experience.   What you said about rotating, I identify with that a lot. Since having my first realization and beginning to dress like a man (as much as I can right now), I feel my true self coming forward while the parts of me that were "a facade" for lack of a better word, are being pushed back.   Thanks so much for your response. It made things a lot clearer.
    •  Kylie
      @Jackie C. Special Snowflake Skin..love it!   We are actually about to make the trip to the Surgeons office for the big reveal!
    • Leah
      I think it depends on the whole package -- shape, grace, voice etc -- but there are a lot of very much more knowledgeable girls on this forum.  I have never understood the role makeup plays in a pretty girl's look. Ever check the prices? It it made of some exotic minerals found only on incoming asteroids? Every woman -- cis and transitioned -- I've ever known says the same thing. "Go light, barely noticeable, especially during the day." Um... Ok, but why pay so much for something you are trying nearly to disappear? It's all good, though. To me, exploring femininity is like Star Trek. "Boldly go where no man has ever gone before" -- to galaxy "Femme" and the women who have gone before. -- Cheers
    • Jackie C.
      As of this morning's visit with my gynecologist, I've STILL got a little spotting internally (though it's healing well, everything is within normal parameters). Like I said, there was gore everywhere. I have special snowflake skin though and, obviously, mileage may vary. I freaked out my tattoo artist too with how much swelling I can conjure up in a short period of time. That healed super well too. We've all got our little quirks.   I hope you're spared though. There was a while where I was just thinking, "I miss being able to wear my underwear without this stupid pad."   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      A little? I get where you're coming from. There's a lot of history bound up in your name and it feels like you're letting that go. Not something I really dealt with myself because my birth name wasn't something I was enthusiastic about to begin with. Towards the end, it just felt like an anchor around my neck. I still cringe when I hear it, which is a pain because I share it with two close friends.   It's also perfectly normal to question yourself during the process. It's a huge step and it's completely valid to have second or maybe third thoughts about the whole thing. "Am I making the right decision?" "Will people accept me?" "Will I regret this? (Which should be a big one in FtMs in my opinion. T-changes are a BEAST, you should be absolutely sure.)   That said, you're not really leaving any of that behind. I can still tell stories from the "before time," I just switch up the gender pronouns. It's more like you rotate. Parts of you move to the back, while your true self moves to the fore. Even so, like I keep saying, be sure before you do anything you can't take back, OK? We just want you to be comfortable in your own skin. Don't let anybody pressure you into taking any steps you do not want to take.   Hugs!
    • Shay
      Congrats @Beverly
    • Confusedconfusedconfused
      Hi there,   My name is Jude. I've recently realized I am non-binary or FTM and I have a question or two about name changes. Everything I can find on Google is about the legal aspect of name changing, or how it feels to be dead named.   My birth name is who I have been for 21 years, and because of this in certain moments I feel a little sad. It's not a painful sadness, or a negative sadness, but more a sadness because socially changing my name to Jude feels like a real step in leaving the past behind. All the nicknames my family and friends have for me, the history behind what my parents named me at birth, etc. By changing my name, I am letting go of this. It's not that I'm sad to let go, because I do feel like I can be more true to myself as Jude, but the act of letting go in itself that is sad. I'm also at an early stage in discovering my gender identity.   I'm excited most of the time, but these sad moments can be really invalidating. I don't see anyone talking about feeling this way online.  Is this feeling common, or can others relate?  
    •  Kylie
      @Beverly Wonderful news! I had sought out care with UNC HealthCare but they were unable to work with my insurance, partly due to me working with another Health Care Organization in the state. Plus they had limited luck with Cigna in the approval processes. A bunch of red tape and factors of cost! So, that is why I came to Texas for my GCS. My surgeon actually told me last week the surgeons at UNC Health did their training with her and her partners! How cool!   Best of luck in your recovery. I look forward to following along with your progress!    Kylie
    • Jani
      @Beverly this is great news!  It sounds like your experience was delightful all around.  Good news about your insurance.  Rest well and enjoy your new figure! Hugs, Jani
    •  Kylie
      Right @Shay! i love the taste of it first thing in the morning! My boyfriend said he is going to wake up early every day and get me whatever kind I want once I can have it again! Such a sweet man!    
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