It's been a while...

[SandraG]

Hello! I've been gone for a while, but plan on trying to be more active again, so I figured this was the best place to say "I'm back!"

I was on here quite a while ago, but hit a lull in my transition for a number of reasons: my wife's in grad school, I live in a not-especially-welcoming area (could be worse, but is VERY conservative), depression issues, etc.

A few months ago, though, I ended up getting REALLY antsy about how I wasn't moving forward, and so started dressing more, getting back into practicing my makeup, etc. I got to the point that I pretty much only wear women's t-shirts and jeans out of the house, talking with my (very supportive) boss at my work, and starting to move forward again, at least psychologically.

Yesterday was a big day for me: I'm now completely out at work! It's fast food, so unisex uniform for the most part, but I'm now going in as myself! Makeup, breast forms, proper pronouns and name (although it's still new, so everyone - including me! - is still very much getting used to it, and brain farts are fairly consistent). Still not out to most of my family (my dad and his sister know, as well as my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, but that's it), but they all live across the US from me, and I don't talk to the rest of them much, so that isn't an immediately pressing issue.

I'm hoping to be able to continue with the medical side at some point soon, but between a fast food job (for me) and my wife being a grad student we just haven't had the money to do anything but slowly build up my wardrobe and makeup. Hopefully that will change once we're out of town (both of us hate it here) and on to better things! While I'm impatient to start HRT, we're planning on having children, and the costs of banking sperm, then doing IVF, are comparable to an MTF transition in a lot of cases, so I'm looking at things that won't compromise my fertility in the beginning stages: therapy of course, facial hair removal (the only thing more triggering for me is chest hair, but from what I've heard once I start HRT that's VERY fast to go, so I'll settle for staying shaved for now), trach shave, voice lessons, etc.

 

I'm glad I'm feeling like I'm moving forward again, and while I wish I was moving along faster I know that this is a long process (esp. when you're poor), I know that as long as I'm diligent in each step the end result will be FAR better than rushing through everything but not addressing the foundations of what I'm going through, and not growing as well as I need to during this journey!

[Jackie C.]

Congratulations on moving forward. I bet being transitioned at work helps too. I wouldn't worry about the brain farts. They're trying and that's all that matters.

 

I think we all wish we could move things along faster. It's not a quick process and sometimes you're just climbing the walls waiting for your body to get with the program already. If only there was a better, faster treatment. Also universal health care and support. As long as I'm dreaming, let's say all the bigots wake up, realize they're being stupid and apologize.

 

So yeah, happy thoughts. Fantastic to see that you're happier and moving towards your goals.

 

Hugs!

[SandraG]

40 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

I wouldn't worry about the brain farts. They're trying and that's all that matters.

 

Yep! When people realize they use the wrong name/pronoun, and get flustered, I just say "hey, it's ok, it'll take some time. As long as you aren't being mean, and actually try, that's all I need!"

To those I know well enough to say this to, I give them an ironic grin and say "I didn't become a bitch overnight, if you aren't a dick to me we're good!"

[ToniTone]

Yay! I'm so happy for and proud of you ?

 

~Toni

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Sandra,

Welcome to Transpulse again. I'm glad you're back!

 

Lots of love, 

Timber Wolf ?

[NB Adult]

Welcome back Sandra!