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Getting my "X" on my driver's license today was a fun experience!


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I, like many, have been waiting years for Massachusetts to Get With The Program and offer a non-binary option for their driver's licenses.  And I, like many, had assumed it had to wait for official passage by the state house reps and senators, a process that's been achingly slow -- at least for me.  

 

But it turns out that the Registry of Motor Vehicles pulled a surprise move.  Last weekend, over the three-day Veterans Day holiday, they shut down completely to overhaul their forms and forms processing software.  Turns out that they chose that time to add the "X" gender option, and so, poof, it was suddenly an official, legal, available option.  Surprise!  Needless to say, I hurried down to my local RMV today and waited for about 35 minutes for my turn.  After I told the clerk that I was here to amend my license from "M" to "X", she smiled broadly, congratulated me, and said, "Oh, you're the first one of these that I've had!  That's so great!"  Now THAT got me in a good mood! ?

 

The full legal process going now working its way thru the legislature, if passed and signed, will require a non-binary option for all legal state documents.  But it's so nice that I didn't have to wait any longer for my driver's license!

 

So, Tuesday was my first, and positive, visit to Fenway Health in regards to estrogen, and Friday added the "X" officially to my license.  Not a bad week --  I'm feeling much more supported and validated!

 

With a smile,

 

Astrid

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  • Admin

That's great, Astrid.  Not only did you get the new DL, but it was an affirming and pleasant experience, too.  Congrats!  :goodjob:

 

Carolyn Marie

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Fantastic! Congratulations! Promotions all around!

 

You've also reminded me that I need to get off my butt and attend to that myself once I get my car back from the shop.

 

Hugs!

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I definitely look forward to this but waiting a bit for my outward appearance to be more feminine.  So the picture looks like the name more.  I also think I’m going to wait for a legal name change to have that put on my drivers license too. 
 

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  • 1 year later...

Do you require any paperwork to change your sex on the driver's license? I reciently renewed mine, I checked the "X" box.... I thought all was good.... but when I received my new license, it still said male.... I was nervous, so I didn't speak up... I still have to go back and get the "REAL" ID... so I wasn't super upset. I think the guy, assumed it was a mistake and took it upon himself to "correct" my obvious mistake?!?!?! 

 

Hugs, Shawn

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3 hours ago, Shawnster said:

Do you require any paperwork to change your sex on the driver's license?

 

It depends on the state. I had a form to fill out that said I wasn't doing it for nefarious purposes and that, yes, I identify as a woman. I got my Real ID done at the same time. Which was a different form and required my birth certificate. Fortunately, I had one handy because I got a copy when I changed my name. I'll have another copy when I get around to changing my gender on the birth certificate. I've got the paperwork, I just need to send it in with a check.

 

Hugs!

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9 hours ago, Shawnster said:

Do you require any paperwork to change your sex on the driver's license? I reciently renewed mine, I checked the "X" box.... I thought all was good.... but when I received my new license, it still said male.... I was nervous, so I didn't speak up... I still have to go back and get the "REAL" ID... so I wasn't super upset. I think the guy, assumed it was a mistake and took it upon himself to "correct" my obvious mistake?!?!?! 

 

Hi, @Shawnster!  I see that you're also from Massachusetts.  When I changed my DL designation from M to X, here was my process (a $25 fee, which was the same as if I'd changed my in-state address and needed to update my license):

 

  1. Went to the RMV and told the greeter at the door that I needed to update my DL for the gender designation. (You'll want to do that PLUS tell them that you need a Real ID.) They had  me fill out this form 
    https://www.mass.gov/doc/learners-permit-drivers-license-and-id-card-application/download
    In Sec. A, you'd select REAL ID.  In Sec. B, you'd include your current Mass. DL number.  In Sec. D, under Gender, enter X.
  2. When my turn came to present the completed form to the RMV agent behind the counter, I pointed out that I was changing my gender, just to be certain that they didn't overlook that.
  3. Paid my $25 and they immediately printed out a temporary license with the "X" gender right there on it; when the actual license arrived in the mail, it matched the temp license. Since you're also getting a REAL ID you'll likely also have a new picture taken.

It was straightforward (and positive, as I wrote about at the start of this topic thread above in Nov. 2019).  I wish you well, and good luck!

 

Astrid
 

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If I recall when I applied for Real ID in NH I had to show two other forms of ID such as Passport and Birth Certificate.  Make sure you meet the requirements so you can have it done in one visit.  

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I am going to the OR.  DMV this Friday with all the paperwork to change name and gender marker and get my real ID too.   I have court signed documents for female.   I have questioned the non-binary X marker, but haven't decided if it would make me safer and more accepted.  I doubt it.   I am 6'2" and you can see my picture.   Non-Binary seems to fit me more than girly-girl.  The only thing I know for sure is that I'm not MALE!   I am proud and happy to be me.   I think I will just "grit-it-n-go" with the big F.

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3 hours ago, Willow Farmer said:

I am proud and happy to be me. 

 

Great attitude!  And wouldn't it be great to have the option to specify one's gender as:  ME  ? 

 

Astrid

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13 hours ago, Astrid said:

 

Great attitude!  And wouldn't it be great to have the option to specify one's gender as:  ME  ? 

 

Astrid

Hi Astrid, and Yes, that would be great to just put down ME!  I'll let you know what I put down Friday.

 

I am one of one, in many ways.   It can be empowering, and it can be quite lonely at times.   When I first allowed myself to be "not male", I began shamelessly dressing female and it helped me feel better.  As time has passed on HRT , I dress gender confused and just me more and more. If totally dressed female, it will more rural-pioneer woman.   I am out to my community and if I had to have an identity tag, I'm far more non-binary.  I hate tags.   Tags go in ears of livestock.  I am free-ranging. 

 

  I have a partner.  They, are pretty non-binary.  More male than I in many ways.   We share clothes, honesty,  life experiences and epiphanies.   She is sitting here proof-reading with me.

  

   I am glad to make your acquaintance Astrid.

 

   ---WILLOW---

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I talked with my trans-health case worker, a they/them person.  They said if I am comfortable enough with the "F", even if I am quite a non-binary or gender fluid  Female, it would be easier and probably safer to put down "F".   That way all my documents would match.   If there was too much dysphoria I should just go for the "X".    It is my right and how I feel is the most important thing.   BTW,  they are too professional to tell me what their drivers license says.  I put down "F".

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I was really surprised to find that my state has had the non binary option available for years on the drivers licenses. Arkansas is so backwards in so many things. From what I understand, I will have to take in other ID's with me as I did to get the Real ID in the first place, but that is it, other than a fee. To get "F" requires you to go to court, but I identify as gender fluid. Once I heal up from my surgery next month, I will definitely be switching my license to NB.

 

Hugs,

Mike

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12 hours ago, Confused1 said:

I was really surprised to find that my state has had the non binary option available for years on the drivers licenses. Arkansas is so backwards in so many things. From what I understand, I will have to take in other ID's with me as I did to get the Real ID in the first place, but that is it, other than a fee. To get "F" requires you to go to court, but I identify as gender fluid. Once I heal up from my surgery next month, I will definitely be switching my license to NB.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Good for you!   I was treated quite well by DMV and the Court clerk as I went through all this.   I hope you do too.   BTW, I'm also a prostate cancer survivor.  Good luck with your surgery next month.   You are a gutsy person.

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There were no options here for non binary but i certainly got some looks when i renewed my license before getting my new legal name and gender paperwork.  I was asked if i wanted to use my old picture. I was presented totally as female and when asked i smiled and said no thank you.  The folks there loved that and later as i was able to change name and gender we had fun.

I doubt i would use an X.  I may be a hybrid but no sense confusing people or getting into long explanations.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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6 hours ago, Charlize said:

presented totally as female and when asked i smiled and said no thank you.  The folks there loved that and later as i was able to change name and gender we had fun.

The best way to be respected is to stand proudly and be yourself.

 

  Much Love,

---WILLOW---

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On 3/20/2021 at 8:58 AM, Willow Farmer said:

Good for you!   I was treated quite well by DMV and the Court clerk as I went through all this.   I hope you do too.   BTW, I'm also a prostate cancer survivor.  Good luck with your surgery next month.   You are a gutsy person.

 

Hi Willow,

 

As you can see from my profile pic, we have more in common than the cancer. Don't know about gutsy, I think of it more as motivated.

 

Hugs,

Mike

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14 hours ago, Confused1 said:

 

Hi Willow,

 

As you can see from my profile pic, we have more in common than the cancer. Don't know about gutsy, I think of it more as motivated.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Mike, I live in a remote, rural setting.   Once I got satellite internet, I began researching everything.   I agree with motivated.

 

    looking forward to more interactions with you,

   ---WILLOW---

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He explained some terms.    They warmed up with some basic, easy stretches.   They learned a kata called Taikyoku Shodan, involving blocks, punches and some movements. This was not bad.   She was now paired off with Judy.  Things were going well and this was not too bad. Judy was sixty years old and had been told to exercise by her doctor.  Taylor said her boyfriend was teaching the other class, which was impressive, and he wanted her involved.   "You remember the gedan barai - downward block?"  They did. Everyone showed him and he went around and made sure everyone had it down. "And the lunge punch?"  They did. "Now we are going to put them together. One of you will punch and the other block it. Okay?"   Taylor squared off against Judy.  Her heart was pounding.  She practiced her gedan barai as Judy practiced her lower lunge punch.  Then they faced each other. "Okay, first partner, lunge punch.  Second partner, lower block.  Slowly.  Go!" Taylor saw the punch coming at her, but instead of blocking it her eyes welled up with tears and she dropped to the floor, weeping uncontrollably. "Oh God, Oh, God, Oh God, make it stop, make it stop" she shouted to parties unseen. Fetal position, rocking back and forth. Crying hysterically. "I didn't go near her," Judy said, bewildered. "Taylor?"  this was Sensei Bob.  Both classes had stopped and were looking at her. She kept crying. "I am here, "Bob told her, not touching.  "Oh Bob you need a wife who can be a real woman to you. I am making you into a monk or something." And she continued crying at full volume. "You need someone better than me, someone who can give you kids." Everyone could hear this.  They were turning away, trying to pretend they could not hear this. "I need to get her out of here and take her." Bob said, and he and Mark bowed to each other. He scooped her up and she bawled into his shoulder.  She clung to him.  First hug ever. Death grip, more like it. "Judy, would you get her things?" "I did nothing," Judy said, and moved towards the restroom, stunned.  "Nothing." "I know what she was wearing," Margie said, and got them. "I've got a gym bag. It 's red and it says Roosters on it. Can you get it? Mark got it.  He accompanied them to the car.  Taylor was non-stop crying deeply, clinging to him for dear life. Mark unlocked the car and together they managed to pry Taylor off of him, even though it took both of them to do it.  She was in the car seat and they managed to buckle her in it. "I am going to take you to your apartment," he said. "No. Emergency room," she said. "Maybe the psych ward."  He didn't doubt it. She calmed down in a few minutes on the way. "Well, that was embarrassing." "Everyone remembers their first day of karate class." "Bob, what I love about you is your sense of humor." "I love everything about you." "Even this?" "Yes. Even this." She managed to walk into the ER.  They were both still in gis. "Karate accident?" "No. I am Taylor and I am a nut. I wear a gi all the time. I make my boyfriend wear one, too." "She had a triggered event.  She's had some difficult times." "I see. Do you you know are bleeding?" "No."  Her crotch was wet with blood and the blood was seeping down both legs. She was wheeled away. "Sir, please wait here." He did.  He had no legal right to see her right now. After a while a nurse came out and said he could come on  back. There she was in a hospital gown.  "Seems like old times." "yeah.  We gotta stop meeting like this." The nurse buzzed around and left them. "They are running tests." "I bet they are." "I got an MRI. On a Saturday morning, too."  First ever. "You rate.  But why?" "They figure some of the old scar tissue - you know, from the- from the past - ripped open and they need to see what is going on." "We know what is going on,"said a doctor, stepping in. He looked at her. "I am Doctor Michaels.  They called me in.  I just happened to be in the building and they wanted me to see this and take the case.  My specialty is Disorders of Sexual Development. But what I am seeing is little in the way of disorder.  Look at this." They looked at the image. "This is a perfectly ordinary uterus." "Uterus?" "Yes, your uterus." "What?" "That is not all.  This is a cervix, and this is a vagina." "It's blocked up." "Yes.  It looks like you had surgery to do exactly that when you were an infant.  They used to do that." "This is me?" "You." "Really?" "I imagine this takes some getting used to. "Can it be undone?" "Absolutely. I mean, I cannot guarantee it, but it is more than likely. I would like to run some tests." "And the bleeding?" "It looks like the hormones you have been taking have kicked of a regular monthly cycle. Then you did a whole bunch of exercise.  Not surprising." "What?" "I want you to come to my office next week for follow-up.  Have you ever had a genetic test of any sort?" "No." "Well, your testes - one looks at first glance more like an ovary." "Ovary. Can I have kids?" "Too soon to tell.  You look happy." She did.  "Bob, you look stunned." "I am." "Given what happened earlier today we want to keep you overnight for observation.  I understand you are a trauma victim and something triggered it." "I got a punch thrown at me in kara-tay class, is all. I am a wimp." "Well, I will let you two talk for a minute and they will come and get you shortly.  No bad news here." "They are coming to take me away, hah-hah, they are coming to take me away," Taylor chanted. "Bob, I am not done with kara-tay.  I want to at least finish a first class. I mean, you paid for it and I want you to get your money's worth." "I think I got that." "Kiss me, you fool,"  she said, and he did, with energy.        
    • April Marie
      These arrived in yesterday's mail. I'm out working in the yard today so just old clothes. I'm looking forward to wearing this t-shirt dress when the weather warms up a bit more.  
    • missyjo
      Ashley I've known busty girls who wore b nice bras tl work n such then like a sift sports bra to lounge or sleep in hugs
    • missyjo
      your nails b hair came wonderful  congratulations  enjoy
    • Willow
      The one thing about this position, if you want more hours just wait and be flexible.  I’m now working until 7:30 pm instead of 4:30.  
    • Ashley0616
      I hope your head cold goes away soon! Sorry you have to cut grass with that.   Love the new t-shirt   I love that one.    What Jeep would you want to get? That is awesome about your wife getting better!
    • Ashley0616
      Welcome Mattie! I would recommend the first step is finding a gender therapist and see if you are or aren't. Then one of the biggest steps if you are do you want to start hormone replacement therapy. The decision should be thought long and hard. There are irreversible effects. Looking forward to your next post! Take care!
    • Ashley0616
      Congratulations on being able to pick up a cancellation! I hope to hear more updates about your transition. 
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