Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Getting my "X" on my driver's license today was a fun experience!


Recommended Posts

I, like many, have been waiting years for Massachusetts to Get With The Program and offer a non-binary option for their driver's licenses.  And I, like many, had assumed it had to wait for official passage by the state house reps and senators, a process that's been achingly slow -- at least for me.  

 

But it turns out that the Registry of Motor Vehicles pulled a surprise move.  Last weekend, over the three-day Veterans Day holiday, they shut down completely to overhaul their forms and forms processing software.  Turns out that they chose that time to add the "X" gender option, and so, poof, it was suddenly an official, legal, available option.  Surprise!  Needless to say, I hurried down to my local RMV today and waited for about 35 minutes for my turn.  After I told the clerk that I was here to amend my license from "M" to "X", she smiled broadly, congratulated me, and said, "Oh, you're the first one of these that I've had!  That's so great!"  Now THAT got me in a good mood! ?

 

The full legal process going now working its way thru the legislature, if passed and signed, will require a non-binary option for all legal state documents.  But it's so nice that I didn't have to wait any longer for my driver's license!

 

So, Tuesday was my first, and positive, visit to Fenway Health in regards to estrogen, and Friday added the "X" officially to my license.  Not a bad week --  I'm feeling much more supported and validated!

 

With a smile,

 

Astrid

Link to comment
  • Admin

That's great, Astrid.  Not only did you get the new DL, but it was an affirming and pleasant experience, too.  Congrats!  :goodjob:

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Fantastic! Congratulations! Promotions all around!

 

You've also reminded me that I need to get off my butt and attend to that myself once I get my car back from the shop.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

I definitely look forward to this but waiting a bit for my outward appearance to be more feminine.  So the picture looks like the name more.  I also think I’m going to wait for a legal name change to have that put on my drivers license too. 
 

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...

Do you require any paperwork to change your sex on the driver's license? I reciently renewed mine, I checked the "X" box.... I thought all was good.... but when I received my new license, it still said male.... I was nervous, so I didn't speak up... I still have to go back and get the "REAL" ID... so I wasn't super upset. I think the guy, assumed it was a mistake and took it upon himself to "correct" my obvious mistake?!?!?! 

 

Hugs, Shawn

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, Shawnster said:

Do you require any paperwork to change your sex on the driver's license?

 

It depends on the state. I had a form to fill out that said I wasn't doing it for nefarious purposes and that, yes, I identify as a woman. I got my Real ID done at the same time. Which was a different form and required my birth certificate. Fortunately, I had one handy because I got a copy when I changed my name. I'll have another copy when I get around to changing my gender on the birth certificate. I've got the paperwork, I just need to send it in with a check.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
9 hours ago, Shawnster said:

Do you require any paperwork to change your sex on the driver's license? I reciently renewed mine, I checked the "X" box.... I thought all was good.... but when I received my new license, it still said male.... I was nervous, so I didn't speak up... I still have to go back and get the "REAL" ID... so I wasn't super upset. I think the guy, assumed it was a mistake and took it upon himself to "correct" my obvious mistake?!?!?! 

 

Hi, @Shawnster!  I see that you're also from Massachusetts.  When I changed my DL designation from M to X, here was my process (a $25 fee, which was the same as if I'd changed my in-state address and needed to update my license):

 

  1. Went to the RMV and told the greeter at the door that I needed to update my DL for the gender designation. (You'll want to do that PLUS tell them that you need a Real ID.) They had  me fill out this form 
    https://www.mass.gov/doc/learners-permit-drivers-license-and-id-card-application/download
    In Sec. A, you'd select REAL ID.  In Sec. B, you'd include your current Mass. DL number.  In Sec. D, under Gender, enter X.
  2. When my turn came to present the completed form to the RMV agent behind the counter, I pointed out that I was changing my gender, just to be certain that they didn't overlook that.
  3. Paid my $25 and they immediately printed out a temporary license with the "X" gender right there on it; when the actual license arrived in the mail, it matched the temp license. Since you're also getting a REAL ID you'll likely also have a new picture taken.

It was straightforward (and positive, as I wrote about at the start of this topic thread above in Nov. 2019).  I wish you well, and good luck!

 

Astrid
 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

If I recall when I applied for Real ID in NH I had to show two other forms of ID such as Passport and Birth Certificate.  Make sure you meet the requirements so you can have it done in one visit.  

Link to comment

I am going to the OR.  DMV this Friday with all the paperwork to change name and gender marker and get my real ID too.   I have court signed documents for female.   I have questioned the non-binary X marker, but haven't decided if it would make me safer and more accepted.  I doubt it.   I am 6'2" and you can see my picture.   Non-Binary seems to fit me more than girly-girl.  The only thing I know for sure is that I'm not MALE!   I am proud and happy to be me.   I think I will just "grit-it-n-go" with the big F.

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Willow Farmer said:

I am proud and happy to be me. 

 

Great attitude!  And wouldn't it be great to have the option to specify one's gender as:  ME  ? 

 

Astrid

Link to comment
13 hours ago, Astrid said:

 

Great attitude!  And wouldn't it be great to have the option to specify one's gender as:  ME  ? 

 

Astrid

Hi Astrid, and Yes, that would be great to just put down ME!  I'll let you know what I put down Friday.

 

I am one of one, in many ways.   It can be empowering, and it can be quite lonely at times.   When I first allowed myself to be "not male", I began shamelessly dressing female and it helped me feel better.  As time has passed on HRT , I dress gender confused and just me more and more. If totally dressed female, it will more rural-pioneer woman.   I am out to my community and if I had to have an identity tag, I'm far more non-binary.  I hate tags.   Tags go in ears of livestock.  I am free-ranging. 

 

  I have a partner.  They, are pretty non-binary.  More male than I in many ways.   We share clothes, honesty,  life experiences and epiphanies.   She is sitting here proof-reading with me.

  

   I am glad to make your acquaintance Astrid.

 

   ---WILLOW---

Link to comment

I talked with my trans-health case worker, a they/them person.  They said if I am comfortable enough with the "F", even if I am quite a non-binary or gender fluid  Female, it would be easier and probably safer to put down "F".   That way all my documents would match.   If there was too much dysphoria I should just go for the "X".    It is my right and how I feel is the most important thing.   BTW,  they are too professional to tell me what their drivers license says.  I put down "F".

Link to comment

I was really surprised to find that my state has had the non binary option available for years on the drivers licenses. Arkansas is so backwards in so many things. From what I understand, I will have to take in other ID's with me as I did to get the Real ID in the first place, but that is it, other than a fee. To get "F" requires you to go to court, but I identify as gender fluid. Once I heal up from my surgery next month, I will definitely be switching my license to NB.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment
12 hours ago, Confused1 said:

I was really surprised to find that my state has had the non binary option available for years on the drivers licenses. Arkansas is so backwards in so many things. From what I understand, I will have to take in other ID's with me as I did to get the Real ID in the first place, but that is it, other than a fee. To get "F" requires you to go to court, but I identify as gender fluid. Once I heal up from my surgery next month, I will definitely be switching my license to NB.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Good for you!   I was treated quite well by DMV and the Court clerk as I went through all this.   I hope you do too.   BTW, I'm also a prostate cancer survivor.  Good luck with your surgery next month.   You are a gutsy person.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

There were no options here for non binary but i certainly got some looks when i renewed my license before getting my new legal name and gender paperwork.  I was asked if i wanted to use my old picture. I was presented totally as female and when asked i smiled and said no thank you.  The folks there loved that and later as i was able to change name and gender we had fun.

I doubt i would use an X.  I may be a hybrid but no sense confusing people or getting into long explanations.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Charlize said:

presented totally as female and when asked i smiled and said no thank you.  The folks there loved that and later as i was able to change name and gender we had fun.

The best way to be respected is to stand proudly and be yourself.

 

  Much Love,

---WILLOW---

Link to comment
On 3/20/2021 at 8:58 AM, Willow Farmer said:

Good for you!   I was treated quite well by DMV and the Court clerk as I went through all this.   I hope you do too.   BTW, I'm also a prostate cancer survivor.  Good luck with your surgery next month.   You are a gutsy person.

 

Hi Willow,

 

As you can see from my profile pic, we have more in common than the cancer. Don't know about gutsy, I think of it more as motivated.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Confused1 said:

 

Hi Willow,

 

As you can see from my profile pic, we have more in common than the cancer. Don't know about gutsy, I think of it more as motivated.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Mike, I live in a remote, rural setting.   Once I got satellite internet, I began researching everything.   I agree with motivated.

 

    looking forward to more interactions with you,

   ---WILLOW---

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 123 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • Stacie.H
    • VickySGV
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, HIPAA is basically useless for keeping government out of your medical stuff.  It doesn't seem to prevent employers from making workplace medical demands either.  About the only thing it seems to do is keep somebody's sister or spouse from having the tools necessary to help you when you're in trouble.  As usual, government made things worse and added unhelpful red tape.  I really doubt HIPAA will be any use in the area of trans rights either.    Honestly, I don't see anything good will come of this no matter how it goes.  If some state AG's win on this, it will cause issues for trans folks.  If the Feds win on this, it'll be a precedent to stomp on states' rights even more than has already been done.  And I'm not sure which way things go will make a difference when it comes to officials from one state trying to do nasty things to people who have left that state and gone elsewhere.    What a crap sandwich... and no matter which plate it gets served on, "We The People" get to eat it. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      At least you tried!  Something equivalent or better may come up, and the waiting could be worth it.  Just keep trying and you'll eventually get what you need and want.      For me, having somebody to love was the most important.  Everything else follows after that.  I waited a long time to find somebody...and she ended up leading me to more than I ever thought possible.    Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now.  I have something work-like outside of my home responsibilities to do for the first time in about 18 months.  Nobody seems to mind the real me.  And this evening, my husband said something that just really made me feel special.  He was rubbing my back, shoulders, and chest while we talked, helping me relax.  He told me that he thought I was really cute in my girl form, but that he thinks my boy form might even be cuter.  And that he's proud of his "smart little Pocket Fox."    For me, the combination of those sweet words and the physical affection was exactly what I needed. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Hi!   That was probably hard to write and then read and say, did I really write that?  Been there.   I'm glad you call it a journey.  It is.  One step at a time, and sometimes two steps forward, one back.    Abby
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Violet! We glad you found us! No one here will judge you. Each of us is unique yet we all share some similarities. And many of us are in the relative early stages of self-discovery.   Take time to wander the sections of the forums. You’ll find lots of information and ideas.   Ask questions if you feel comfortable. You will find lots of people willing to share their experiences.   Is it possible for you to possibly work with a gender therapist? Many of us have found that to be extremely helpful in finding our identity and out true selves.   Just jump in. We don’t bite! We’ve all been in some version of where you are.
    • April Marie
      Literally. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Shameless plug for my "Taylor" story down in Stories You Write.  I am not Taylor and the experiences she goes through are not what has happened to me, but there is an emotional expression that I think is the best way to say some things that I don't know how to say otherwise.  I am not Bob, either.  But you might find out some things about me by reading it.  And I hope it is a good read and you enjoy it.  I am not done with it.  If you would like to comment on it, I would appreciate it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
    • Sally Stone
      April, I'm so glad things went well when you came out to your spouse.  So often, things can go sideways.  It's a hurdle we all have to jump at some point.
    • violet r
      I totally understand what you just said. I can relate to this very well. I have a lot.of similar feelings.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...