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Markjvp

Still wondering if I’m transgender

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Markjvp

I’m 15 right now lots of choices in life my family including me are Christians and I have 2 questions 1 is it true that if god made someone is a boy or girl they should not transition so they’re a girl or a boy? 2 if that is true is there something wrong with me I still feel trans but I’m also kind of thinking it’s a phase (extra question does god really plan everyone perfectly? but if you came out wrong it’s our fault like if you have no arms but have hands)

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Markjvp

I’m questioning these because I see that there’s lots of trans people yet question I have to that are these and actually one more did god somehow make a mistake?

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Astrid

Markjvp -- this isn't about mistakes.  It's about natural occurrences, and our attempts to "explain" them.  Sometimes we, as a society, don't do a good job understanding/explaining them.  For example, there are several different types of people born intersex (Wikipedia has a comprehensive explanation). 

 

So, keep reading as much as you can about these topics -- preferably from reputable sources, not groups with a particular agenda. Hopefully, this will help you see that the trans community is large, diverse, and desiring to live in harmony with their neighbors.  How accepting those neighbors are is a big part of how successfully things turn out.

 

With best wishes,

 

Astrid

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Jackie C.

First off, big hug.

 

1 hour ago, Markjvp said:

1 is it true that if god made someone is a boy or girl they should not transition so they’re a girl or a boy?

 

While there are people who will probably tell you that, I don't see how a kind and loving god could do that to you. Why would god's plan be for you to suffer? Now, my spiritual beliefs are a little different from mainstream Christians, but I think that part of life is working to find your happiness. It's easier for me to see that part of god's plan for you is to fight to find your own happiness and acceptance. Then you can inspire the people around you and remind them to "Love thy Neighbor." The neighbor isn't the guy across the way who looks and thinks just like you, he's the person from across town to immigrated here to make a life for himself, metaphorically speaking. The neighbor can also be the person who looked around themselves and said, "I do not accept this," and changed the world for the better. So what if you're a little different? You have the right to pursue your happiness and your dreams. No kind and loving god would deny you that.

 

1 hour ago, Markjvp said:

2 if that is true is there something wrong with me I still feel trans but I’m also kind of thinking it’s a phase (extra question does god really plan everyone perfectly? but if you came out wrong it’s our fault like if you have no arms but have hands)

 

It's not that there's something wrong with you so much as you're just a little different. We're all different, that's obviously OK. From a spiritual perspective, I think people who have disabilities are here to remind the population at large that not everyone is as privileged as you might be and to encourage lending a helping hand to those in need. They're also excellent examples of rising up above adversity. How you were born does not define you.

Being trans is no different really. The same way I would never deny someone who lost an arm a prosthetic, I'd never deny someone the chance to live as the gender they know they are in their heart. I don't think god would either. That would be cruel.

 

I hope that helps a little. Those of us who are trans have a more difficult path, but if you assume a kind and loving god, it's a path we're intended to walk. Fortunately, in the modern age there are ways to ease our burden. I know from experience that sometimes that burden can be too much to bear. Fortunately, we have the opportunity to lay it down and become the person we were meant to be.

 

Hugs!

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Markjvp

Thank you both of you and my church always said love accept and forgive people Jesus did that and so does god so until I can decide on if I’m actually trans, something else or I’m not I’m going to try to not worry about this and I also think god wouldn’t just deny our happiness we’re all his children and probably like most parents god just want us to be happy we even have free will

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Jackie C.

Gender therapists are very useful for helping you get a handle on your feelings. Your school counselor can probably put you in touch with one. You'll probably need parental permission ... I have no idea how getting help works in a civilized country (Down here we're all gun-humping lizard-apes), but the sooner you get the help you need, the sooner you're going to feel better.

 

Hugs!

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DeeDee

@Markjvp  God is genderless.  He created us and knew us before we were born, that means god knew whether someone would be cis or transgender or non binary or intersex or gay or lesbian or any of the other letters I haven't represented. We were made to be unique, but each and everyone of us carries the image of God within us.  How we deal with that is our choice - Jackie has already pointed out that Jesus commanded us to love God and love our neighbour as ourselves, everything else hangs on those two commandments. Learning to love yourself is hard enough, but learning to love our neighbours is really tough - especially when they pass judgement on you or any one else.

 

We all have our own journey. It doesn't mean an easy path, and it may not answer your questions but no matter what you do you will always be loved by God. That is literally the good news being proclaimed in the gospels. 

 

That being said your faith is not what dictates whether or not you are transgender, something else has made you wonder, fear is usually what makes us wonder if we are fooling ourselves (or at least it is for me if I am honest)

Most people are born right handed, a few are born left handed and even fewer are born ambidextrous or without limbs - it does not make them any less human. Just different.

 

No one else can tell you whether you are transgender or not, but after spending a lot of time thinking about it I do not think it is a "phase" people go through, no one chooses the hours spent agonising about whether or not they are in the right body or whether being themselves is worth the risk of losing everyone they care about. No one willingly moves themselves into an even smaller higher risk minority group just because they are rebelling or trying it out.

 

Just continue to be honest with yourself and your questions and you will be fine - there is no rush and there are plenty of safe people to talk to even if you do not think you church would be accepting - their are many other churches and lgbtq+ groups who are.

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NB Adult  (Inactive)

Terrific reply DeeDee, I aspire to those same thoughts and I'm also a gun humping lizard, but I know Jackie loves me as I do her,  we are buddies, we are all friends and extended family here.

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Susan R

DeeDee, that is a very well thought out response on the subject. I agree with this line of thinking and could not have explained it as well as you just did.  Nicely explained!

 

3 hours ago, DeeDee said:

We all have our own journey. It doesn't mean an easy path, and it may not answer your questions but no matter what you do you will always be loved by God. That is literally the good news being proclaimed in the gospels. 

The paragraph quoted above is also something I believe to be true.  IMHO....Life is a journey and a test of sorts.  Our time here is  only a small blip of time when comparing it to the length of all eternity.  The difficulties here & now and however "real" they feel to us will be almost nothing to us but a memory after we pass from this world.  We are here to learn, grow and love.  Some will do well in their journey and some will not.

 

One thing I believe...everyone, despite our differences, have been born with a specific thorn or obstacle along our path that has the potential to keep us from succeeding in our journey.  Some of these thorns are outwardly visible and others are not.  Some thorns may seem more chaotic than others but our life experiences make that variable.  Even the Apostle Paul from the New Testament [ 2 Corinthians 12:7-9] mentioned having a thorn although it was never revealed what his thorn was in his writings.

 

I believe my thorn was being born with a male body but a mind of a woman.  Others here have a relatively similar obstacle.  I could've done nothing and continued my journey as a man but I chose to correct the issue to the best of my ability.  My thorn does not go completely away and will forever be a part of my journey but I can deal with it by reducing its effect through transition.  Personally, I am very sure that I have made the correct choice for myself.

 

Forgive me if I come across a little too philosophical or preachy,

Susan R🌷

 

 

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Markjvp

Thank you I’m going through pretty much about 3 things at once here that’s small but for me pretty big from time to time one of those is me wondering if I’m trans, something else, or not and well everyone here at trans pulse is helping with that (just in case you want to know what the other 2 are well one is I’m trying to get friends, I don’t have any right now but I know that soon I will have friends and the other one is me fighting back my sadness there’s a lot of it which I’ll probably start a new topic on the suicide prevention forum soon for that but for now I can handle it)

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VickySGV

@DeeDee got close to something that I have found.  In my personal meditations I am reminded that in The Lord's Prayer, Jesus did not use the word Father, but rather Abba that means Loving Creator Parent, no gender attached.  Where scripture says God proclaimed an identity, it was a word that in English is written "I am"  in the thoughts of the time it is "I am All Creation and Creator Of All" a much grander and far reaching persona of God for us than the limited being that too many people insist on.  Not surprising that God in their minds is limited to creating only the simple things they can readily point to and believe.  "I am" / Loving Parent is capable of creating more than just the simple stuff we hear from a story told ages ago and still be loving that creation for all time.  We are not junk or a mistake, we are different for reasons in the workings of creation.  We are not sick, but without love can be made sick.  It will do you no harm to accept you are Trans since Cis people never have questions and will give you a reason to get help to explore the wonderfully created being that you are. 

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TammyAnne
12 hours ago, Markjvp said:

Thank you I’m going through pretty much about 3 things at once here that’s small but for me pretty big from time to time one of those is me wondering if I’m trans, something else, or not and well everyone here at trans pulse is helping with that (just in case you want to know what the other 2 are well one is I’m trying to get friends, I don’t have any right now but I know that soon I will have friends and the other one is me fighting back my sadness there’s a lot of it which I’ll probably start a new topic on the suicide prevention forum soon for that but for now I can handle it)

It sounds like you've got a lot going on in your internal struggle so let me also offer a big warm hug!

The most straitforward answer to issues about God and religion, is we have no definitive answers, only a lot of attempts by people to describe things beyond description. Ask yourself, if I were an omnipotent being why would I choose a gender and even more so why would I have genitalia? Of what use would that be?

We are not put on this earth to suffer.

But most of us struggle and suffer to some degree all our lives. Speaking as someone who has come through life without friends, I can say I'm not lonely, I have purpose (an artist) and life has meaning.

Time is a great healer. Hang in there and let time work.

People go into the forest to see wildlife, but after tramping through come out seeing none. It's only when you sit quietly and observe that the wildlife will come out to you.

That reads like it ought to mean something, but I have no idea if it does.

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Markjvp

Thank you once again also thank you for reminding me god is a powerful, kind, and loving god and first times I read that god doesn’t have a gender because church, my parents, and some other things always said father or he but I guess they’re just assigning a gender like people might do in some video games were you don’t know the characters true gender. Also it’s true that time is a great healer I know already because before about grade 8 I was less open even less brave to do things but now I’m more open and brave

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NB Adult  (Inactive)

@VickySGV Your comment is beautifully stated, and let me add this for @Markjvp the term "Father" simply stems from the concept of authorship and "He" has always been used as a generalization when referring to a person or entity whose specific gender is unknown.

 

I have always been of a distinct impression that creation is an evolutionary process that is ongoing for eternity and that the strict evolutionists and creationists are just banging their heads trying to be the only one that is right, when in reality we here are part of and representatives of an evolutionary paradigm shift while the head bangers are screaming NO it's only male and female! It may be part of a larger picture where there are no genders in the eternal realms.

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Alice K

I've hardly done an in depth study, by I'm fairly certain that God is called Father for the fairly typical reason, because men took control of the narrative and decided to make it all about them. :P

 

But, truly God is greater than that. How can you attempt to define something that exists beyond the bounds of human understanding by using labels that frankly don't even fit -humans- all that well? We're clear witness to the crumbling of the gender binary, and that's way before we get anywhere close to divinity.

 

Even genderless is limiting. God is all that is good and holy. They are male, and they are female, and they are genderless, and they are androgynes, and they are intersex, and they are more that we don't even comprehend and they are none at all and they are all at the same time. If you think about it that way, God's sort of the ultimate trans already :D.

 

I went through a phase back in my Catholic school days of challenging the dogma and referring to God as Mother at all the places where she is typically called Father. My teachers actually didn't mind as much as they challenged me to have a well reasoned argument behind it, so I got to debate a lot about inclusivity and the femininity of the divine.

 

One thing I've found about being Christian in general, is don't be a Bible literalist. It's a wonderful book in a lot of ways, and it has a lot of context and wisdom and value, but it is also deeply flawed, because it is written and compiled by deeply flawed people, from a lot of disparate cultures, over a long period of time. Look to it for spiritual meditations, but, try to study the anthropological context around it as well. That's part of arming your spirit for the war it has to fight. Otherwise, other so-called Christians will use it to bludgeon you into submission about their views.

 

I hope this all brings you some peace, Markjvp. Just remember that God made you who you are. Find out who that is, because that's who you are meant to be. Explore your transness, and if it doesn't fit, that's okay. But if it does, that's okay too! Be who you are in God's love.

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Markjvp

Thank you all of you and I still don’t even have any idea who I fully am yet but of course everyone knows themselves at least a little so I know my self a little too but I’m still young so lots of choices in life that can happen, I’ll continue to try to figure out things out (job I want, if I’m trans or not, etc)

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TammyAnne

You know a bit about yourself, enough to suspect you're different. That is miles ahead of many people who never give life a thought.

As to who/what you are, well - you're you. Additional labels may come and go. I'm nearly 70 and still can't quite figure out how I fit in or what I am.

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