Help! im confused

[Kitty]

im confused

ive questioned if im genderfluid, or bi gender but im not sure

 

i like wearing feminine clothes and masculine clothes 

i like have guys and girls as freinds and i have an equal amount

one day a puton a out fit looked in the mirroir and thought this outfit makes me look tough , like a boy , i love this outfit

i also love my feminie outfits with a v neck and jewlery 

i like skirts but not dresses

in ive been throught periods of time where i dressed feminine for a few years, and kinda masculine for a few 

i wear masculine and feminine clothes 

i dont like my full name and i think it sounds  too feminine 

 

what do you think ? im counfused and im looking for help 

[VickySGV]

Welcome to Transgender Pulse, good to have you with us.

 

You are definitely NOT Cis gender from what you describe here.  Genderfluid or Non Binary are the real possibilities I see in what you describe.  Both categories (or maybe they are the same) have come to fall into the Trans circle of life, and that is not a bad thing.  You need to find a Therapist who understands gender diversity and Gander Dysphoria, and really carefully work with them to find the best niche for you, and develop a program of what you need to make your life right.

[Kitty]

I would find a therapist but i am a teenager and too afraid to ask my parents 

[Kitty]

whats tough is that i think that i might have social anxiety and last year i was not  able to wear things that made me happy without being scared about what others think.This year i have been able to wear what i want to. I feel quite confident and nice in a v neck t shirt flanned , jeans, and jewlery but i also feel confident in boys clothes.

[VickySGV]

I am a sneaky old grand parent, so here is a suggestion:  Gender Dysphoria can disguise itself in many things that make it hard to do school work, get along with friends and generally find yourself depressed because of the pressure it puts on you. The counseling can also help you with the other anxiety A counselor can work with you on those issues and since as a teenager they cannot tell your folks everything you tell them, you can put in the gender issues as you get help for the other issues.  Gender Therapists started out as the garden variety therapist but most therapists are becoming aware of the problems and may be happy for you to help them improve.

 

[ShawnaLeigh]

Welcome to our family.  I guarantee there are folks here that feel the exact same way and hopefully they chime in.  
I was going to suggest a school counselor too. To get some help up front and get the ball rolling.  Work in the gender topic when you feel comfortable.
Good Luck! 

[Kitty]

Ok thats a good idea

[TommieAnne]

Hi and welcome Kitty!

I cannot add anything to excellent advice given above, except to say talking with a counselor can make a huge difference - at least it has for me.

[SaraAW]

Welcome Kitty. I too can’t add anything to the great advice above. Just know you’re not alone in what going through. Many folks stories, while unique, have a lot in common too. 
 

Speaking to people, especially those with training is usually of great help to many. I know that once I found my therapist and was able to start to open up and share, I have felt better. Still have a long road ahead, but at least I’m walking down it and not frozen in place in fear. 
 

This is also a great place to ask questions, share and see that you’re definitely not alone. 
 

*hugs*

[Kitty]

When i put on guys clothes im sorta like another version of myself thats always been there but i rarley act like. when i wear guys clothes im more confident, i feel tough and there even is a kid who is scared of me cuz i tell him not to mess with me.

[Kitty]

im confused as im starting to see myself to like more guy like stuff and less girl like stuff

[Kitty]

I feel to scared to talk to any adults irl about this

[ShawnaLeigh]

Kitty,  There is no quick fixes or guidelines we can tell you to make your life as you want it to be right now.  We can only support and encourage you as best we can and try to give advice but in the end it will be up to you to decide and do for yourself.  Up front you need most of all to be calm and try to be understanding about how what you are saying effects others.  Being all upset all the time and yelling or getting angry serves no one and may make things worse for you.  It is easy to feel its all about "us" but it is also about everyone in your life who cares and loves you too.  It can take time for them to understand. 

Unfortunately as a youth you have more constrains then just society too.  Its a shame your family does not support you as things would be so much easier in your home life.  For you in general, but no crying over spilt milk as they say.  Keep trying to communicate with your family.  Over time they may see the light and what you are going through is not just stage.  But pain and emotional hurt. This takes time too.

For you it will be an up hill battle but you can only fight it one day at a time.  Maybe hour by hour some days as you live your life and grow.  You can do it.  I suggest giving yourself some long talks or serious time to think about what it is your are feeling and how to fix or heal it.  To try and make a plan to get to where you want to be,  Try to fix the things you do have control over first.  There will be a lot you don't due to your parents it sounds.  But there are many you can if you think about it.

You as a trans youth will have to summon a lot of courage to be who you are inside.  It will be hard and scary.  Well past your years living with your parents.  But eventually you will get to a point where you can triumph over your fears and tell those that can help and encourage you.  It may take quite some time to reach this place I'm not going to lie.  It took me about 4 decades so I feel your pain.  Though my story is way different from yours.  I only wish I had the courage to come out when I was young. 

Please don't give up on yourself.  In the end you are the only one who can take care of you in this journey.

[Kitty]

ok