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Carolyn Marie

AZ Appeals Court Sides With Trans Man Over Name Change

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    • Donnie_1961
      Your morning is my night. But I'll go for a cup of Joe anytime. I work the night shift as a Certified Nurses Aide. Coffee is a blessing for those of us that work the wee hours of the morning. I often muse that if one were to test my blood it would test positive for Maxwell House! I knew a nurse from the Bronx that came over to my house and always asked for a "QUP-A-QUAFFEE."
    • Donnie_1961
      Thank you, Carolyn Marie. I'm looking forward to it.
    • Ellora
      Precisely! To hear it, read it, is invaluable. Thank you sooooo much @Jackie C. for front row center, and yes, your humor is so choice!
    • Donnie_1961
      I was at a low point. Having just separated from my wife of twenty five years. "When I look in your eyes...I don't see you anymore." Is what she told me before I left. I got in the car and drove. I don't know how many hundreds of miles I'd gone before I stopped at a dollar store and bought a bag of ice and a fillet knife. I drove to the next rest stop on the highway. I walked in the empty ladies room carrying the items that  I'd  purchased and entered a bathroom stall. I remember hiking up my dress and grabbing a handful of my manhood before I lifted the knife up over my head. "What am I...crazy?!!" I thought before I broke down crying and ran out the door. The nightwatchman saw me as I got in my car. He came over and knocked on the window. "Are you OK, Lady?" He asked with a look of worry and concern on his face. "I'm alright." I replied through tears before I asked where the nearest emergency hospital was. When I got to the hospital the intake person accidentally put I pink identification band on my wrist. I was taken behind a curtain to disrobe and put on a patient gown. Then she handed me a piss cup and sent me to a bathroom. For a drug test I figured. Afterwards I laid down on a table to be examined. I fell asleep. The next thing I knew a nurse woke me up and replaced my wrist band with a blue one. "I'm apologize for the mistake, Sir." She said "But we really thought you were female." I smiled. "Don't worry. It happens to me all the time." Later I talked to a psychologist and was given a prescription for an anti-depressant that I had no intention of filling. I hate pills. Somehow just talking to somebody is what made the most difference. What's the point here? When you are feeling overwhelmed by the circumstances of life, before you do something foolish that you'll later regret, STOP and TALK TO SOMEONE! Be safe. Be Smart.  
    • Belle
      Absolutely @DianaB! Those are true for me too!
    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, Donnie.  I hope you find a lot of good information and friendship here.    HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Donnie_1961
      I'm old school. When I introduce myself to someone for the first time I extend a friendly and firm handshake. "Hello." I say. "It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Donnie." I don't change my voice. I'm not trying to fool anybody into believing I'm something that I'm not. I want them to know up front exactly who I am. Often people ask my which surname I want them to use when addressing me. " Frankly." I tell them. "I don't really care. Use whatever you feel comfortable using."  I'm 58 years old I don't have the time to spend correcting everybody over little things like surnames. I don't need the affirmation. I already know who and what I am. I'm preoperative transgender. (That means I've still got junk down there.) I don't use the ladies room. In my opinion that would be disrespectful and wrong. (That's just my opinion.) I can handle myself fine. I spent the winter at a homeless shelter for Men. You should have seen the looks I got when I checked in. "This is a men's shelter! You shouldn't be here!" Was the line I heard every time I walked in the door. My first night sleeping on a mat on the floor with a hairy drunk with vodka on his breath putting his ar.ms around me. So I kneed him in the nuts. I survived. But, thank goodness, I'm out of that place! I do go back from time to time to visit with some of the people I know who are still there. I hand out cigarettes and gum. I wish I could do more to help. They are like family to me. Speaking of family: I have three children. Two girls and a boy. They are all grown upbla now. They are OK with me but sometimes I wonder. I put them through hell. It wasn't easy for them growing up with a father that is transitioning before their eyes. My wife and I have been separated for many years. She stuck around as long as she could. It wasn't easy on her either. I work as a certified Nursing Assistant at a local Nursing Home. A job that I love. I love to go ice skating or rollerblading. If you live in Omaha you might see me skating down at the AmeriTrade Center. What do I want to get out of this forum? I don't really know just now. I'll figure that out later.
    • Debra Michelle
      Did get a surprise at church this morning,seen a teacher I had in high school.She was surprised I changed big time at first and was glad I live a happy life now as a post op MTF.Did call me Debra too after Telling her I go by Debra now.She was my biggest inspiration in my life in high school and did thank her as well.Did see I did struggle in life before I transitioned knowing I was born the wrong gender.
    • Donnie_1961
      I really didn't used to think about eating much. Sometimes I'd totally forget. I'm 6' 1'' tall. Currently I tip the scales at 179 lbs.So I guess I'm doing better than I used to. It's OK to be a little fluffy. My lowest weight was 129 lbs but that was during my cross country bicycling days.  I only ate high energy bars and drank a lot of water back then.  I'd faint from the lack of calories. Regaining consciousness laying on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere is certainly a wake up call that I should take better care of myself. My advice to you is remember to eat. Your body needs the energy for what you are going through. Stay healthy, Kiddo. Stay Safe. Be smart.
    • Carolyn Marie
      Totally agree with the others, and I also can identify and empathize with your desire to leave all the explaining to others.  I, too, want to just get on with living my life.  I did the advocacy thing for several years, and loved it.  It brought a lot of meaning and purpose to my life, and I did a lot of good.  But I'm taking some steps back from all that.  Time to just be me.  So yes, I get you.  Do whatever feels most comfortable, Bunny.  Explain when you must, be otherwise, just enjoy life.   Carolyn Marie
    • ShawnaLeigh
      There is nothing wrong with holding on to the finest bit of hope.  You never know until it’s a done deal and even then.   If my wife had a change of heart I’m not sure I could go back to what we had.  Things would have to change.  
    • VickySGV
      The "ordinary" is what we really are aiming for in transition.  When we first begin our transitioned lives, there is novelty to it for ourselves and others around us.  Only 16% of people down south in the U.S. have knowingly met a Trans person so there is some healthy and actually caring curiosity about it.  If it is a person you have known a long time, as tired as you may be, it may be worth the time to tell them, but you have no obligation to do that as said above.    I am a bit on the other side, since I do actually give training classes on dealing with Trans people to groups who need the information. Doing deliberate and out training is different from having to justify yourself daily.  You do not have to justify yourself, you just do not!  Put that feeling aside!  In fact BURY that feeling which I have actually done.  You look fine and acceptable as a female in that picture which may be better than l look, but I am a bit older too.
    • Jani
      It looks like several models are under way.  You certainly have an eclectic living area.  Good for you!
    • Jani
      Bunny if you are tired of all that explaining (and who wouldn't) then stop!  There is no need to explain yourself to anyone. You look fine.   Jani
    • ToniTone
      Hi Reuben and welcome!    ~Toni
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