So I am confusion....

[citrusii395]

So, I believe that I am a FtM trans person, but I'm not even sure anymore. There are things I like about my female body and anatomy and stuff, but there are things I don't. For example, I like my singing voice, my (barely existent) hips and waist, and my chest, but at the same time I want a deep voice, a masculine body, and a flat chest. I want short hair, but I don't want to look like a lesbian. I like my femininity (sometimes), but I also don't want it and wish I was a guy more than I was a girl. I just... I don't know anymore. I don't know if I'm trans, and that I'm just tricking my brain into thinking I am. I'm not sure anymore.

[Jackie C.]

Which is why we have gender therapists. ?

 

There's no check box for am I trans or not. You might be genderfluid, non-binary or any number of other things. They're all fine. Maybe some days you want to present as masculine, some you'd rather be feminine. One of my favorite people from group is like that. You've got plenty of time to figure things out. There are lots of ways to be trans and there are lots of other things out there too. They all bring their own uniqueness and challenges. Don't focus on labels so much, just worry about being yourself and making yourself happy. You're on the right path though. This site is a great way to learn from others that might be farther along the path. You're young yet, you'll figure out what's right for you.

 

I take offense at "looking like a lesbian" just a little. What do lesbians look like? I'm of the opinion we look like everybody else. Well, we look like any other girl. Unless I'm wearing one of my t-shirts that loudly proclaims that yes, I am a lesbian. Then I totally look like a lesbian. Not today though. Today's t-shirt is "Erma."

 

That may have been a tangent. So yeah, the point is that you don't need to label yourself. You're you and that's all that matters. You're still pretty young. You have plenty of time to figure out who you are. Be sure before you do anything that you can't undo. Be healthy. Be happy. Have fun!

 

Hugs!

[citrusii395]

On 12/7/2019 at 2:19 PM, Jackie C. said:

I take offense at "looking like a lesbian" just a little. What do lesbians look like? I'm of the opinion we look like everybody else. Well, we look like any other girl. Unless I'm wearing one of my t-shirts that loudly proclaims that yes, I am a lesbian. Then I totally look like a lesbian. Not today though. Today's t-shirt is "Erma."

Oh shoot, I just realized that! I'm very sorry for offending you. At the time, I was writing out my thoughts and the first thing that came to mind was a sort of butch looking person that a lot of people kind of stereotype with lesbians. It was just what was going through my head and I didn't think about it offending anyone at the time. Again, I'm very sorry and next time will think before I speak (type?). Besides that, thank you for the reply, it really helped!

[Jackie C.]

Like I said, just a little. I'm in no way offended, offended. Just a little "screwing with you" offended. We can still be friends. Also, if you add glasses, you perfectly described my aunt Melba who was indeed a lesbian. Seriously, she fit the stereotype to a T. After knowing her, I'm pretty sure she did it on purpose to tweak my very religious relations.

 

I'm glad I could help a little. Have a most blessed day!

 

Hugs!

[VickySGV]

My rule of thumb is that if you have questions about your gender, the one thing you are NOT is Cis-gender.  I have never met one who doubted their gender, just some of the baloney that goes with either one.  Gender Diverse, Gender Adventurous and more are all valid ways to identify yourself, and it can be a little or enough to put you on an operating table and that is what we try and help you cover here.  Not living strictly by what others define as one of two genders does have its challenges and risks to be sure.  I have been out for a decade fully and 10 years before that as a sometimes person.  Today I pass fairly easily as a big older woman with a deeper voice than many have, but then I go out to my shop and some grease or paint or other dirt changes me into --- well it changes me and I don;t care.  I get taken for lesbian or Transbian as my friends sometimes call it, but I can bear hug a guy too without any problem so I am not worried about that.  Your comment above was fine really and you do not have to be ashamed of it.  It did not really put anyone into a trash can so you do see how this place ccan work.