Finding myself

[Sammy Red]

Hello ! My first post .. i think im in the right place to Have some outside opinion , im a cis men and im a little bit confused let me explain . Since i was 13–14 i love wearing panty and sometime women clothe and a bra always stole them cause i didnt had any Choice cause i wanted this to be secret because this was arousing me i keep doin it till i was 19 when my girlfriend entered in my Life so i trown away all my pantie collection and clothes too Keep this part of me secret then about 2 year ago i was now 24 i started buying men thong and Time fly i Keep buyin them but more girly finding them more sexy and now at the hallowen this year i disguise myself into a full dress women with the dress pantyhose and makeuo and all the day people where doing compliment on how good i was looking and they all though i was someone else at first sight since them i buyed women pantie my gf know cause i Wear them everyday she seem ok with this i even started wearing girl pant legging ,pj short and sometime pantyhose under my pant and i love this maKing me feel a little bit more feminized but as the Time pass i start feeling confused if im really a boy ,could i be more confortable in a women’s body ?,did I hide myself my true nature all these year ?I don’t know and I got a big stop if I’m going to be more feminized I fear to lose my gf we have been Togheter  for 7year now and I very love her I don’t want to lose here at all that why I’m a little bit confused what should I do need your opinion here thanks everyone ❤️

[Jackie C.]

To me, it sounds like you may be a cross-dresser or a fetishist because of the sexual arousal component. Most cross-dressers I know either don't feel that or at least don't admit to feeling it. For them, they create a female character that they escape into when the real world is getting to be a little too much. Being trans is a little different. It's closer to feeling like your body (or at least parts of it) are just wrong. It's not just that I feel comfortable presenting as a women, it's more that there's a terrible pressure that builds up if I'm presenting as male.

 

However, I am not a gender therapist. If you're really confused, the best course of action would to be to talk to a licensed professional. That's what they're for. Years of school and experience to help you with this very problem. They're confidential and will help you get to the other side of whatever feelings you are having. I held off on getting help for a very long time because of the stigma attached to seeking help for mental health issues. I very much regret that I didn't seek help sooner.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a cross-dresser. There is nothing wrong with having a fetish either. If you're honestly worried, talk to someone. We'll be here to help you cope with whatever you discover about yourself.

 

Hugs!

[Sammy Red]

Thank for the quick replies Jackie ! 
I thought about being more a crossdresser but I think it more deep than that I’m not only wearing women clothes or go in a female charactere and destress or evade myself I wear these clothe all the time though i feel my emotion my body and my mind is more feminized and the more my life advance the more these feeling grown when I was single long ago these were thing i experienced but denied it because of all the social stigma around it and eventually got a GF and put all these thought away but now it coming back more than ever and it does make me feel uncomfortable with who I am that why I’m questioning myself it’s so complicated 

I talked about this to a psycoeducator at school and she want me to go in a transgender meeting. I’m going to go there as a first steep to discover myself

 

Thank again for your reply

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

To me, it sounds like you may be a cross-dresser or a fetishist because of the sexual arousal component. Most cross-dressers I know either don't feel that or at least don't admit to feeling it. For them, they create a female character that they escape into when the real world is getting to be a little too much. Being trans is a little different. It's closer to feeling like your body (or at least parts of it) are just wrong. It's not just that I feel comfortable presenting as a women, it's more that there's a terrible pressure that builds up if I'm presenting as male.

 

However, I am not a gender therapist. If you're really confused, the best course of action would to be to talk to a licensed professional. That's what they're for. Years of school and experience to help you with this very problem. They're confidential and will help you get to the other side of whatever feelings you are having. I held off on getting help for a very long time because of the stigma attached to seeking help for mental health issues. I very much regret that I didn't seek help sooner.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a cross-dresser. There is nothing wrong with having a fetish either. If you're honestly worried, talk to someone. We'll be here to help you cope with whatever you discover about yourself.

 

Hugs!

 ❤️

[Charlize]

Welcome Sammy.  I certainly can't tell you what path you should take, or where you may fall in the spectrum. Many are satisfied by occasional dressing.   I will say that cis gender folks never worry about these things.  

Perhaps in time you would be well advised to speak to a gender therapist.  Honesty and openness can help us get past the fear and shame we feel.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Sammy Red]

Thank Charlize for taking time to answer ! I’m not satisfied with occasional wear that was what I did first and didn’t take long that i started wanted to be wearing those all the time after I stopped doing because of a new relation and I kinda toss all my feel aways and try to not think about that but since these though never really goes away and they are now a problematic for me I want to have female trait I want to feel and be treated this way and the more it go more I feel sad and anxious about my life and who I am right now I begin to talk about that with a therapist at school not a gender specialized one but still talking about it with her was really recomforting and helping but I’m only at the beginning their a long road in front of me to discover and I’m here to hear the different opinion from people who live the same kind of trouble that I am .thank all for your reply i appreciate it alot  Much love and respect ❤️❤️

[Sally Stone]

Sammy, because I dress on a part-time basis, many would call me a crossdresser, but I know that it is more than just the clothing.  Part of my personality is female and to feel complete, I have to express my feminine side sometimes. 

 

I believe that much of the arousal one feels when beginning this journey is a response to feelings that aren't yet fully understood.  As you explore, and begin to understand your feelings, I suspect the arousal feelings will diminish and be replaced by feelings of contentment.  It is completely normal to be confused, but take the time to understand your feelings.  Discovering who you really are won't happen over night, so be patient and if you can, try to enjoy the journey.

 

Hugs,

 

Sally 

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Sammy.  I think its great that you're going to attend a trans group meeting.  That is a very good first step.  It made me feel really great to meet a trans woman for the first time, and to see that I wasn't alone in all this.  Take things one step at a time, read the forum threads here, ask questions, talk to folks, attend more meetings, and when you're ready, find a gender therapist to talk with.  You'll discover who you are and what the right path is for you.  I look forward to hearing more about you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Sammy Red]

Thank for listening to me really appreciate it ! 
and yeah that what I need to do take my time and think about me only me I know it sound selfish but that what I need

 

I think I’m on the good way since i started talking about, be more open about it and live like i wanted a little bit of my anxiety is gone . Can’t  wait to attend a meeting and meet new people that can understand me .But at least I got all of you here and you are so much helpful surfin through the subject too and there is a lot of good contents around here that I can relate to really love this place ! 
Thanks ! 
 

Hugs ! 

[Jani]

On 12/15/2019 at 5:06 PM, Sammy Red said:

I think I’m on the good way since i started talking about, be more open about it and live like i wanted a little bit of my anxiety is gone .

This is good.  Communicating with other like minded folks is always therapeutic.   Keep posting!

[Sammy Red]

Hello ! Just wanted to do a quick update been like 2 or 3 month since I made this post , during this time i spend a lot of time exploring myself and my identity.i stopped living in the deny of the true person that I am , now I’m fully living my life as a woman my social transition is on a good way and I started HRT not so long ago after several visit with a therapist . The whole feeling of what I’m doing is satisfying makin me happy still got some dysphoria depend on the day but i still feel  much better . About my Girlfriend problems these are now solved my gf is staying with me wathever is happening she still love me and she will always do this was a hard step for her to accept but she did and we live like a normal couple again .just wanted to thank you all even if it was only a little message that you wrote here on my post that made me go into what I want in life and gave me the power to assume myself .lots of thank love you all ❤️
 

Samantha 

[Carolyn Marie]

Thanks so much for the update, Samantha.  it's good to hear from you, especially with all the good news.  I'm delighted for you that your GF is staying and is supportive.  It's never an easy thing for those we love and it takes a special person to make it work.  Best wishes for continued progress and success on the journey to womanhood.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie