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Idek anymore


emily the wolf

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emily the wolf

Well I'm sitting here with all of the things my family says to me written on my arm, my nails bleeding, my arm bleeding.... I don't know what to do anymore..

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Emily :( 

 

Well we can't undo what has already happened but you can care for it. Make sure you sterilize the cuts. Please take the rubber band message, and for the things your family says you. Take a piece of paper and write it out then rip it up. Please don't hurt yourself anymore, we care for you. You are loved Emily. 

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 When these sorts of feelings set in, I think the best thing you can do is focus not on who's around you, but all of the people out there who love and support you. Don't focus on what is around you, but what the future could be. Imagine your wildest dreams, and don't expect them to come true, but just realize that you can make it happen.

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Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. What Aidan said to start. Clean yourself up. Apply some disinfectant. Clean and bandage the wounds. You don't want them to get infected. That's just a mess.

 

Once you're all cleaned up. We love you here. You're not alone. We all want you to thrive and be happy.

 

OK, real talk then. What do you need to be happy? Help me out here. What would make your life a little more bearable. We'll work on that. One thing at a time, OK? We're not magicians or anything, so no wishing for a flying unicorn or anything. Sometimes it helps to articulate your thoughts to a willing ear, yeah?

 

Hang in there, OK? We'd hate to lose you.

 

Hugs!

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emily the wolf

But flying unicorns are fun! But I know what your saying.. the only problem is I don't know what make me happy... Other then just not being around my family

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Dunno, I can ride but I'm deathly afraid of heights. I can't even stand being on a ladder. I'm kind of surprised I CAN ride actually... but I rode ponies. A big pony, but sixteen hands still qualifies as a pony.

 

OK then, that's a start. What can we do to get you less family time? After school clubs maybe? I don't know what's available in your school district. I visited Cincinnati all of twice and we were staying with a friend's sister ... they had the best comic book collection I've ever seen in person. So I've seen Rob's sister's place. The cool game store we visited and a Marriott I think. It was 1986 and I don't remember the chain. Not important though. The point being that I'm about four hours away and I have no idea what sort of programs are available for you to try.

Here isn't much better. I've been out of the loop since 1988 and was never much of a joiner anyway.

 

So anyway, science club? You're a smart kid, there ought to be something you can do. If it costs money sell it as "trying to make a better future for myself," or maybe, "I'm trying to prep for college." I actually did a few of those for a couple summers. I had more of a biology focus than you do but it was fun. Ooh, you have a STEM lab and they have after-school programs. Could you get into that? Presuming you want to of course.

The point being that it could be fun, a way to meet people and gets you out of the house.

 

Keep us posted, OK? I want to hear about how much fun you're having and I don't want you to have to lie. ?

 

Hugs!

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Please do reach out for help before you hurt yourself.  I am an addict in recovery and know how hard it is to reach out.  I also know how much that helped me.  Please reach out at the chatroom or the trans lifeline it can truly help you get past the feeling of needing to self harm.  You are loved here and not alone. 

 

Big Hugs,

 

Charlize

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