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emily the wolf

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emily the wolf

I-i scream... I yell.. I jump... I wave.. but they don't notice... They just over look it.. the only one who sees it is my aunt... But she can't do much right now...

 

I'm laying in my bed and can't get the thought of killing myself out of my head... Everytime I try it just gets worse and worse... I attempted to tell them and got shut down instantly... Like why... Why can't I fix this thought... I cut at least 14 times today... The last 2 trying to kill myself... I cut a vain but not enough... It didn't kill me.. just make u huge mess.. and Everytime I try to do it i-i can't something stops me but I don't know what...  I-i want no I need to die... I can't handle the pain any longer... I can't stand it.. they cause a lot of the pain then ask my why I'm depressed.. or why I want to die.. or why I feel the need to cut... Or why I smoked some weed last night instead of killing myself in front of them... They see all of the stuff I do... But don't see what they are doing to me... And if they do.. they are doing it on purpose..

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tracy_j

It would be better to be discussing things on chat as you could express yourself from moment to moment. Even the hotlines you have over there. I am glad you have opened up here though as at least it is some outlet for your frustration.

 

My usual methods of working my way through my depression have been to get out, anywhere really, just to remove the heat from the situation. A long walk or cycle ride. It does not make the situation any easier but has given me time to think straight. I remember a time when in my late teens when I thought the world against me (literally). I got to a point of going mad but I was lucky. Being nerdy I looked toward logic and deduced that some of the things I was thinking were logically impossible. They saved me, I am certain. I am not saying at all that this will help you but, as an example.  it's finding a way to relax and think without the overbearing stress which will help. Weed and other drugs or alcohol tend to be short term gain for a longer term loss.

 

I urge you to discuss things with someone outside of your situation hence not clouded by it. Either here on chat or helpline.

 

Remember everyone cares here ❤️

 

Tracy

 

 

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Sarahnr1
7 hours ago, emily the wolf said:

I-i scream... I yell.. I jump... I wave.. but they don't notice... They just over look it.. the only one who sees it is my aunt... But she can't do much right now...

 

I'm laying in my bed and can't get the thought of killing myself out of my head... Everytime I try it just gets worse and worse... I attempted to tell them and got shut down instantly... Like why... Why can't I fix this thought... I cut at least 14 times today... The last 2 trying to kill myself... I cut a vain but not enough... It didn't kill me.. just make u huge mess.. and Everytime I try to do it i-i can't something stops me but I don't know what...  I-i want no I need to die... I can't handle the pain any longer... I can't stand it.. they cause a lot of the pain then ask my why I'm depressed.. or why I want to die.. or why I feel the need to cut... Or why I smoked some weed last night instead of killing myself in front of them... They see all of the stuff I do... But don't see what they are doing to me... And if they do.. they are doing it on purpose..

 

The simple fact  that you arent able to take this  VERY WRONG  step is that you DONT  want to die. and thats a good  sign .  Trying to cut youre self  or  even  numb youre feelings  with boose  or  weed  or  even stronger stuff  nor will cuting youre self  it  will NOT work either all it will do  is  to first give a  very short feeling of ease  to then   increase  to even greater   levels then before.  So PLEASE   stop  hurting youre self.

 

The pure fact that you  have the  currage and strenth to write this  tells  me  you have  more  mental strenth then you  think you have .same as  you dare to shout out  in here for  help .  

 

You need to somehow  convince  youre parents   that you ergantly need to see a profetinal and if they wont listen contact youre school  nurse .

 

Believe me  i understand  how you  feel  but even if you dont belive me  it WILL calm down again so DONT   hurt  youre self  in this way   or   even worse   think for second that suicide is  the way out  because its  NOT   trust me on this it will NEVER  has  EVER   been the  right or  even  quick and painless  way.    

 

And lastly  NO dear   youre parents  arent doing this  to hurt  you. they just dont  understand    and try to do what they feel is the best for you  so dont blame them  .They love you but needs  to be   infomed  by a  profetinal  so that they can be able to somehow understand  and then  make their  choice

 

Youre only  still young  so youre life has hardly began  you have most of youre life  still ahead of  you  so DONT give up FIGHT with every inch of youre body and soul to reach youre goal.  And above all get some  profetinal help ASAP  !!!    And if you want to talk my Pm is  wide open.                   

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Jackie C.

OK then. First thing's first. Clean yourself up and get some antiseptic on that. You don't want any of your cuts to get infected. You should probably stick whatever you were wearing and/or laying on in the laundry too. If you do your own laundry, then get some stain remover on that. You don't really want blood stains on your clothes and/or sheets. That stuff doesn't really come out.

 

Next up. School starts back up soon so you'll be able to hang with your friends again, that should help. In the meantime, assuming you got your phone back, you should make it a point to speak with your aunt and spend some time out of the house with your BFF if you can. Talking to people helps us feel less alone. Spending time with friends, especially when your family isn't being responsive to your needs.

 

So yeah, now you need to get yourself some help. Your family isn't helping... though could your aunt at least set you up with a gender counselor? Or at least online therapy sessions? I obviously don't know her circumstances, but Betterhelp.com isn't that expensive and all you need is either a phone or an internet connection. There's also The Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386) ... which I'm reading into and wishing existed when I was your age. Lots of links to support programs that are there to help you. I strongly urge you to check things out. We're still here for you but I don't think any of us... or at least many of us... are mental health professionals.

 

Hang in there sweetie.

 

Hugs!

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Timber Wolf

Hi Emily,

I wish you didn't have to go through this. If you are still cutting or wanting to end your life, please go to chat and talk with a crisis mod. You can also call the Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860.

 

You are not alone. We care about you here. When you feel like you are alone, you can always come here or to chat anytime of day or night. I hope you do.

 

Lots of love and a big hug, 

Timber Wolf 🐾

 

 

 

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emily the wolf

I wish I could call a help line... But I still don't have a phone.. I have my old one that doesn't have a Sim card but that doesn't help... I finally got my PS4 back so I can somewhat talk to people but that's really no help... I get that people say it gets better... But I don't ever see that.. I guess what y'all said is true I just wish that I could excape this house... I get to see my aunt soon.. so maybe just maybe I can hit the big red button and get out...

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Jackie C.

I was afraid of that. My therapist pointed out that for your generation taking the phone is a lot like taking you out at the knees. It doesn't really help and it's super traumatic.

 

Please push the button for your aunt? In a couple of years, I want to hear you bitching about how sore your breasts have gotten. Like the rest of us. I'm looking forward to it. I'm scared that won't happen if you stay in your current environment. Your aunt also has the advantage of being family, so you should still get to see your sister regularly.

 

Please be safe?

 

Hugs!

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Sarahnr1

Utliest you have us  in here   and  we have all been in youre situation  i dare to say    and many of us been in youre ag e  so we know what youre going  thru.  i understand  how  you might fel there is no end  to this dark tunnel Emily  but as we have said  there is.  Ive lost count on how many times ive  been in that dark tunnel   of depression  and  having to fight with all the strainght i got  to be able to somehow  find that glimmer  of  light  in the end of the tunnel .  

 

What you need to do in this tough times is try to find that glimmer of hope and  hang on to this .  And if that one goes out  then you need to find another light of hope NEVER give up and never  be afraid  to ask for help   or  feel ashamed  of who you are  and that you need help.  

 

Youre doing great so far Emily and i for one am PROUD of you so far for being brave enogh to come in here  and ask for help  (many arent and these are the ones that sadly risk of going under ) Hang in there   we are all here with you  DONT give upp  and  please no more cuting and  or  use of drugs  or  booz                     

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emily the wolf
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

I was afraid of that. My therapist pointed out that for your generation taking the phone is a lot like taking you out at the knees. It doesn't really help and it's super traumatic.

They say that when they take my phone that it is social media influencing me to be transgender... They attempt to blame anything and everything they possibly can... They blamed my old school.. well that blame didn't work.. so now they are blaming social media and the influence that it supposedly has over me when I fallow no transgender topics or people on my social media... So I don understand where they got that theory from.

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Sarahnr1
53 minutes ago, emily the wolf said:

They say that when they take my phone that it is social media influencing me to be transgender... They attempt to blame anything and everything they possibly can... They blamed my old school.. well that blame didn't work.. so now they are blaming social media and the influence that it supposedly has over me when I fallow no transgender topics or people on my social media... So I don understand where they got that theory from.

 

They are desparatly trying to find any reson to blame for this and its all based  on noncence and they dont  know anything  about  this. Thats the  main problem here i belive    

 

In there own mind they are doing the right way in protecting  you from what they  belive and  probaly are thoght to be a bad  thing . And for this you still shouldent blame them Emily.  its  unfortunate that they are not as of yet   capule  of  acepting  not  understanding  what this  is.  

 

Perhaps if you manage to talk to the school nurse   and  she can then perhaps talk to youre parents  of this  they might  finaly be able to listen and  understand  all this  ?  As long as  this  only comes  from youre end  its  obvius  they wont  listen so what you need is  someone  profetinal backing you up on this.         

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Jackie C.

Well, my point was that "traumatizing your teenager isn't a good look." Now I have to wonder what they think social media can actually do? Do they think it's like the Hypnotoad (you may be too young to remember the Hypnotoad)? There's a whole rant brewing here. I'm going to spare you, but it's not like they couldn't take you to a... oh, I don't know... GENDER THERAPIST and get things sorted by a professional. You'd be happier, they'd be happier, your arms wouldn't scar so much... I'm assuming arms, you've mentioned arms in the past but I don't know for certain your spot of choice. Personally, I dig scars (my wife thinks I'm weird, but I like skin with some personality. Scars and freckles? Yow!). Your future romantic partners? Who knows.

 

Wait, I'm not saying you should scar yourself on purpose. That's self-destructive, unless you're getting it done decoratively in a clean, professional setting by a clean professional. Nothing against body art. Nothing against escaping the pain with a different pain either if that's what you need to do. Just be smart about it and take care of the aftermath.

 

Anyway, they're probably latching on to all the "social medial led to..." scare pieces on the news. We had those when I was growing up, but they were usually about how Dungeons & Dragons was teaching us to use real magic and summon demons. I wish I was making that up. The point being that people can be really, REALLY stupid when they're willfully ignorant and whipped into a frenzy by a media that's looking for clicks and advertising dollars rather than reporting actual news.

 

I shouldn't be surprised. I've heard that I was "Made transsexual by something I saw on the internet." I mean really? If the internet could do THAT I'd be using it to turn ... certain unsavory segments of the population ... into better people.

 

Hrm, that was rantier than I intended. Only read the funny parts.

 

I still want to hear about you happily (happily mind you) doing the things other trans teens do. I'm not sure what that is... I was SO in the closet at 14... but I'm sure there's something and it's awesome.

 

Hugs!

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Jackie C.
42 minutes ago, Sarahnr1 said:

 

They are desparatly trying to find any reson to blame for this and its all based  on noncence and they dont  know anything  about  this. Thats the  main problem here i belive    

 

In there own mind they are doing the right way in protecting  you from what they  belive and  probaly are thoght to be a bad  thing . And for this you still shouldent blame them Emily.  its  unfortunate that they are not as of yet   capule  of  acepting  not  understanding  what this  is.  

 

Perhaps if you manage to talk to the school nurse   and  she can then perhaps talk to youre parents  of this  they might  finaly be able to listen and  understand  all this  ?  As long as  this  only comes  from youre end  its  obvius  they wont  listen so what you need is  someone  profetinal backing you up on this.         

 

Not to pick @Sarahnr1, but most public schools in the US don't have school nurses any more. They've by and large been replaced by a first aid kit due to budget cuts. As early as the 70's, when I was in elementary school ... and keep in mind I grew up in a pretty affluent neighborhood ... we just had a nurse's office. The desk secretary took care of us if we reported in. In secondary school (grades 6-12) we didn't even have that.

 

What we do have are counselors, but those are a pretty mixed bag. Some of them are competent and do a great job I'm sure. I've never met one. They're overworked, like one school counselor for a school of around a thousand kids, and they don't have a clearly defined function. They spend a lot of their time handing out college pamphlets because they're frequently not allowed to do anything else.

 

So yeah, Swedish schools are probably better. Here in the states, somebody got the idea that kids should be able to "pull themselves up by their boot-straps" without realizing that that's impossible outside of a cartoon. Maybe if they'd had a better science curriculum.

 

I am in no way coming down on you, I'm just saying that in the states, by and large, kids Emily's age don't have a lot of support outside the home (our community support has kind of hit the dumpster in recent years too. Yes, we are turning into a dystopian hellscape). If the parents aren't helping or, like in Emily's case, making a situation worse, the options can be limited to another family member, sometimes a friend's family will take an abused kid in, or CPS (Child Protective Services because you don't have to live here and probably use a different acronym) and fosterage. All those options can be a little like, "Roll the dice and take your chances." We've got a couple of charities, and they do their best, but they're underfunded and understaffed too so it's easy for someone to slip through the cracks. Our system has a lot of cracks.

 

OK, that wasn't the rant I was suppressing, but it was still a pretty good one. I apologize if I offended anyone. I'm pretty worked up right now in Emily's behalf.

 

Hugs!

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TammyAnne

@emily the wolf please don't hurt yourself more. You're sweet, smart and fun. I'd like to see the adult you laughing with us in a few years.

Hugs.

TA

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ShawnaLeigh
37 minutes ago, TammyAnne said:

@emily the wolf please don't hurt yourself more. You're sweet, smart and fun. I'd like to see the adult you laughing with us in a few years.

Hugs.

TA

I second this.  My heart breaks for you and I feel useless not being able to help.  I know there is only so much a forum member can do.  I also know that this forum helped me just by posting here and having “someone”.  Anyone,  understand me.  
I can’t not offer you any more advice then the beautiful awesome ladies above have.  I can try and support you though. 
Please stay safe and be strong.  We love you.  

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Sarahnr1
57 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Not to pick @Sarahnr1, but most public schools in the US don't have school nurses any more. They've by and large been replaced by a first aid kit due to budget cuts. As early as the 70's, when I was in elementary school ... and keep in mind I grew up in a pretty affluent neighborhood ... we just had a nurse's office. The desk secretary took care of us if we reported in. In secondary school (grades 6-12) we didn't even have that.

 

What we do have are counselors, but those are a pretty mixed bag. Some of them are competent and do a great job I'm sure. I've never met one. They're overworked, like one school counselor for a school of around a thousand kids, and they don't have a clearly defined function. They spend a lot of their time handing out college pamphlets because they're frequently not allowed to do anything else.

 

So yeah, Swedish schools are probably better. Here in the states, somebody got the idea that kids should be able to "pull themselves up by their boot-straps" without realizing that that's impossible outside of a cartoon. Maybe if they'd had a better science curriculum.

 

I am in no way coming down on you, I'm just saying that in the states, by and large, kids Emily's age don't have a lot of support outside the home (our community support has kind of hit the dumpster in recent years too. Yes, we are turning into a dystopian hellscape). If the parents aren't helping or, like in Emily's case, making a situation worse, the options can be limited to another family member, sometimes a friend's family will take an abused kid in, or CPS (Child Protective Services because you don't have to live here and probably use a different acronym) and fosterage. All those options can be a little like, "Roll the dice and take your chances." We've got a couple of charities, and they do their best, but they're underfunded and understaffed too so it's easy for someone to slip through the cracks. Our system has a lot of cracks.

 

OK, that wasn't the rant I was suppressing, but it was still a pretty good one. I apologize if I offended anyone. I'm pretty worked up right now in Emily's behalf.

 

Hugs!

 

Oh i would never  take offence by you or anyone Jackie C dear i find youre views in this thread to be very informative indeed . I have to admit i wasent aware of that   and thats  sort  of  puts  a  spanner in that  idea . so we are back in trying to find  another   (as   been suggested  her Aunt)  

 

That sounds  less  of   solution as well then i agree      

 

In some  ways yes   and were  most defenetly in general WAY  ahead on Transsexuell /transgender  etc... understanding   but we also have our  problems  in the society im afraid   (especually sadly  the younger generation  and it breaks  my heart   )  

 

Most informative  and i thank you for the  info  and i will most defently keep this in mind  in future  cases . On that one from what i have understood   i agree 101 %  Its  full of holes  all over  and is leaking  heavily.

 

As i said  earlier  in no way shape or form am i ofended  nor  hurt  ego feelings   i have no problems  in being  corected  when wrong   and i great fully recive any  justified  corection i can get.  And as we can all see im also worked up from Emilys sad  situation                   

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emily the wolf

Ahhh I'm crying seeing all of the support. Wait I'm crying finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, well I don't know I know part of it is the fact my step dad is heavy right and trying to call me a liberal because I am transgender then we argue and he says stuff like "oh I wish I could just punch you in the throat" like we were playing UNO AND HE ALMOST PUNCHED ME like what?... Why... He argues with me over the fact I don't want to talk politics with him because I am trans and he pushes a far left view onto me because of stereotypes like what? Like why?... I got called called down stairs at 9 pm est and I am just now getting done yelled at, at 1040... Now I'm back to wanting to die just as fast at I finally got the thought out of my mind...

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Sarahnr1
6 hours ago, emily the wolf said:

Ahhh I'm crying seeing all of the support. Wait I'm crying finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, well I don't know I know part of it is the fact my step dad is heavy right and trying to call me a liberal because I am transgender then we argue and he says stuff like "oh I wish I could just punch you in the throat" like we were playing UNO AND HE ALMOST PUNCHED ME like what?... Why... He argues with me over the fact I don't want to talk politics with him because I am trans and he pushes a far left view onto me because of stereotypes like what? Like why?... I got called called down stairs at 9 pm est and I am just now getting done yelled at, at 1040... Now I'm back to wanting to die just as fast at I finally got the thought out of my mind...

 

I would say its both the  feeling of support you have seen in here as well as the terrible treatment  of  you  .

As i previously said i understand  how you might  think that suicide or some  self cuting or perhaps some weed or alcohol or even something  stronger would make things  better Emily (ive been there MANY times  with the  suicde thoughts   )   but  again NO Emily  it dont  , I get that you obviesly suffering and in no way shape or form  do i stand behind  youre step dad  in his bevior  towards  you. same with youre mom  .   BUT  any of those  BAD steps  will NOT help you Emily   you need to try to find  away to  stay  strong   .And also  somehow   find  the inner strenth to  carry on, and also somehow  find  some adult  within youre family that can help you  against youre parents if youre being misstreated  even report them to the CPS              

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TammyAnne

I always remind myself that staying alive and healthy and outliving the bad guys is the best revenge.

Keep living and setting an example and don't let the bad guys win!

Hugs,

TA

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Jackie C.
9 hours ago, emily the wolf said:

Ahhh I'm crying seeing all of the support. Wait I'm crying finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, well I don't know I know part of it is the fact my step dad is heavy right and trying to call me a liberal because I am transgender then we argue and he says stuff like "oh I wish I could just punch you in the throat" like we were playing UNO AND HE ALMOST PUNCHED ME like what?... Why... He argues with me over the fact I don't want to talk politics with him because I am trans and he pushes a far left view onto me because of stereotypes like what? Like why?... I got called called down stairs at 9 pm est and I am just now getting done yelled at, at 1040... Now I'm back to wanting to die just as fast at I finally got the thought out of my mind...

 

What a charming fellow. Of course punching a teenager in the throat is a perfectly normal response to... absolutely nothing. Your father strikes me as a bigot and a bully. What a fine role model he's providing for his children. OK, that's enough snark. I'm going to try really, REALLY hard to keep it in check for a minute.

 

To be fair, I'm trans and have a far left viewpoint. It's hard for some people to choose between left and wrong, but what can you do? Oops. Maybe a little more snark. I'm apparently feeling bitchy this morning. That's still not something to assault another human being over.

 

I so want you out of there. That's not a good environment for anyone. I apologize for not writing sooner, but I'm old and boring so I was asleep by ten. At least he only yelled at you this time. I have no earthly idea what he thinks he's accomplishing by bullying his child, but... at least he didn't lay hands on you this time. Big hugs sweetie. If your aunt won't take you in, you need to get in touch with CPS. I'm afraid your story is going to have a tragic ending the way things are going. I don't like tragedies. The heroine needs to win in the end.

 

Just so much love sweetie. Hang in there.

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Timber Wolf

Hi Emily,

I wish your parents were more understanding and accepting. As you can see, you are not alone. You've got a bunch of friends here who care. I care.

 

If things are getting too bad and dangerous, talk with people at your school, such as the Principle, a teacher, or school counselor. They can contact social services and ask them to investigate. If you feel you are in eminent danger, you might try running next door and calling 911. Nobody has the right to exert physical violence against you, not even your parents. Hitting you in the throat is a dangerous place. The throat and neck are vulnerable places on the body. They are targets for hand to hand combat. If anyone ever tries hitting you there, that's not just taking a swing at you, that's a potentially lethal attack. That is cause to call 911. I don't want anything like that to happen to you. I hope it never comes to that. I think you might want to try talking with a school counselor about the psychological abuse you are going through, and how it's affecting you. You should be able to contact a chat moderator, because our chat on Discord is done by typing on a keyboard, and a phone is not necessary. You should be able access it with the device you're using right now I would think. My only uncertainty is that I'm guessing you're probably using a school laptop, and I'm not sure how school laptops are set up to work. But if you are able, I strongly recommend that. It will help you build up an even stronger support system around you, and give you access to more immediate help if needed. The more support you can get, the better. 

 

I hope things will get better for you. You are definately in my thoughts.

 

I almost forgot. You should still be able to call 911 on your old phone, even without service or a sim card. You can't call any other numbers, and you can't get any incoming calls, but at least in most areas, the law requires a phone to be able to call 911 even though it has no service or sim card. Just as long as it still gets a signal. Turn it on and see if the clock works on it. If it does, it's getting a signal. Then keep the battery charged just in case.

 

Lots of love and a big hug, 

Timber Wolf 🐾

 

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Markjvp

Hi I don't really know if your ok now and pretty sure I'm late but I've learned over and over that little things can help with anything for me when I'm feeling anything negative I do something that's fun for me and if I'm tired I do something relaxing which for both for now I'm pretty limited to watching videos on the Internet or playing games I have but it still helps me so if you can do something you like and I'm pretty sure it can even help with depression if you ever get depressed

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OpenHearted

Always remember there is someone who loves you even if you do not know who it is. The most important thing to develop is a love of yourself, or self-love some call it.

 

There are quite a few very good self-love or self-compassion meditations but if you cannot access them try this:

 

Breathe in deeply through your nose, filling your belly. Let it all out through your mouth. Breath in deeply through your nose, filling your belly first then you mid-chest. Let it all out through your mouth with a whoosh or haaaa sound. Breathe in deeply through your nose, fill your belly, chest and all the way to your collar bones. Let your breath go naturally from this point.

 

Vision white or pink light being contained or carried on your breath. Breathe in the light of love (from your aunt, your friends, the earth, the universe, or whatever works for you). Breathe out the light of your love for your ... aunt ... and yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat your aunt or another loved one as much as you can. It is not easy but with practice it becomes more natural and helpful.

 

There are 1000s of methods to meditate but the benefits are enormous. Even 1 minute a day, 5 or 10. 20 is wonderful. As long as the things you need to do each day get done I do not believe it is possible to meditate too much.

 

with metta (loving kindness)

Openhearted

aka Lyrilla

and over 20 other nicknames

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    • Aidan5
      So we got a new kid on our bus a little while ago and of course he was cute, he was shorter than me and really hyper. He loved talking to me and I was terrified he would be disgusted I was trans. So the first day we met I had my crocheted pride flag on my bag and asked him if he knew what it was. He smiled and said it was the trans flag, he then told me he was pansexual. We kinda just clicked as friends and sit with each other often. I told him about how my parents call me "Dan" which is short for Aidan and he called me Danny. My face was burning because it was a cute nickname. Today on the bus he was joking about how he was single and how he thought I would never date him, I didn't have the chance to say anything and he asked me to hold his hand, I hesitated but somehow managed to hold his hand. It turned out to be his birthday today so I drew his a character from jojo since it was his favorite and he loved it. I almost died when he said "How about a birthday kiss?" I couldn't tell if he was joking or not so I played it safe. It was really awkward and then he got off the bus because it was his stop. There is my current dilemma haha. 
    • Ashe
      I came out three years ago as enby/gender fluid.  It never changed, however in recent months i've felt very very feminine. To the point where I feel like two completely different people. Questioning who I was was a horrific long road, and I don't want to do that again. But my other trans friend said they feel the exact same way.   I feel like two different people entirely. In terms of what I like, music etc.  When I feel feminine, I like colourful cute clothes and upbeat music, I put it down to my name being 'Dove.' I'm basically the opposite of me when I feel like this   But when I feel like me, who I have been for three and a half years now, Ashe, I just feel like me. I am me, but the Dove side just exists and I think about it all the time.    It actually gets to the point where I beat my own dysphoria fluctuation with my feminine side. It's horrible, and so scary and confusing. I didn't know where to turn, but I found myself here 💝
    • KymmieL
      I have never used any type of app. let alone the face ones. I have been told by my therapist at one session that if she didn't know better she would think I was a woman. (yea)   I have thought of FFS but that is a ways off. (if at all)   Kymmie
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Lol you always get me.  Lol
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Me too!   Nice look!
    • Susan R
      Both sets of glasses look very good on you.  I like the top set (the heavier square-ish ones) with your facial structure a little better. They both feminize you’re face quite well.   Susan R🌷    
    • VickySGV
      Looking good!!  I have to wear glasses or I cannot see as far as the end of my nose!!  
    • Belle
      I like the glasses look on you @Miseria!
    • TrIIIy
      In Mississippi, I had to see a gender therapist and get a recommendation letter from them to give to an endocrinologist. This process took not quite a year. The hardest part for me was finding an endocrinologist able and willing to do transgender HRT who wasn’t 50 miles away. Mississippi just doesn’t have a lot of trans resources, though. You might have better luck where you live. I actually found my doctor through a Facebook support group. Once you have everything in order, make sure to check about your T being covered by your insurance. I didn’t think that mine would be, since I have Medicaid, but it was! I had to wait until my doctor sent the prescription to the pharmacy before I could find out, though. It was a nice surprise.
    • Miseria
      Hello all, I find glasses do conceal my brow slightly as bangs arent much of an option for my style. I find i cannot shape my eyebrows to save my life... that is without them resembling Nike signs... First photo is of reading glasses 2nd are large circular ones i bought from wish.
    • Jackie C.
      That's not ALL bad. I have a lovely, white peasant skirt that I fear for whenever I wear it outside. It's light and breezy, but the white always makes me nervous. I know SOMETHING is going to stain it forever. The only solution is constant vigilance. That wears on you after a while.   Hugs!
    • Claire 1960
      Love wearing my skirts and dresses    just wish I could do that outside    sadly will never happen 
    • AdriannaB
      Therapist was glad to hear it and gave great advice how to do it.Going to meet me as Adrianna tomorrow for the first time
    • Susan R
      Great advice Trilly...the world will go on without us.  It’s like most things...you get what you put into it.  It’s takes motivation to engage in activities we are unfamiliar with but if you try a few on for size I think you’d be surprised how many activities you never realized you enjoy.  For example...Try volunteering somewhere....there are endless opportunities in most metropolitan areas.  Pick one and get information...make a few calls and see what they need.  That way you help not only yourself but possibly someone else in need.  It’s a great feeling.   Susan R🌷
    • Belle
      I'm glad you have such wonderful support Claire!   Belle ❤
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