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Markjvp

Basically advice to people trying to figure out if they’re transgender like I am

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Markjvp

I still don’t know what my gender is I’ve felt like I’m transgender but I’ve also felt like I’m gender fluid but even when I’ve just read someone else’s post it’s helped me and I think I’m gender fluid but mostly a boy still feel like I’m trans tho

 

but here are some advice I’ve learned and at least 1 trick to figure out if your transgender: try to look at the whole you not just parts of you so non related example: if you like to race and cook which are you a racer or a cook of course it’s both. Also just do you, you don’t need to figure it out right away and you don’t need to do everything there’s transgender people that’s just fine with some hormones some that wants surgery some that’s probably fine with everything except clothes. And my own advice maybe take some online tests to figure it out or go to gender therapists. Now the a trick that might help you if you found a button and if you press it you would permanently turn into the other sex as if you were born that sex would you press it, for me I still don’t fully know but i think I would

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ToniTone

I think you hit the nail on the haed with your advice, pretty good illustration. I could see alot of us trans folk smashing that change button, lol! 

 

As far as online tests, I'd be careful not to run wild with the results of them, and to cite the sources. There's a big difference to professional medical pre-diagnostics and those for-fun online surveys. But even with a medical diagnostic tool, whether or not you're trans isn't something a doctor defines, it's you. 

 

~Toni

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Markjvp

Yea it’s true that you shouldn’t run wild with online tests only you can truly define your gender 

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VickySGV

A book that I recommend is Jeffrey Marsh's  How To Be You which is a fun and thoughtful workbook/ journal on exploring your own personal gender diversity. Jeffrey is a producer of gender variant films and documentaries and defies gender designations almost daily.  I have met Jeffrey in person and am glad I did. 

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Jani

Being transgender isn't about the things you do, but how you feel about yourself.  Gender is between our ears.  If you question your gender the best way (IMO) to arrive at an answer is to go to counseling.  There you will be ale to speak openly about your feelings.  Talking with non-prefessionals (friends/family) is not advised as they have a vested interest in the "current" version of you.  A counselor really won't care either way as long as they can help you resolve the conflict you are experiencing.  That's their job.  

 

Its about the process not the outcome.  Once I determined I was actually transgender my counselor helped me navigate the myriad paths that I might travel to arrive at happiness.   If I had found I wasn't transgender they would have assisted me with resolving the issue/pain I was feeling.  The answer is within us.  We don't always see it.

 

Jani

 

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Markjvp

I have i new book to read now so thank you 😊 @VickySGV. And @Jani it’s true that gender is through feeling not things you do and the friends family thing is true too I told my parents and my brother of me being possibly trans or gender fluid and they rejected the idea. Also @Jani does a school guidance counselor count? I’m in a high school that has guidance counsellors

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VickySGV
1 hour ago, Markjvp said:

Also @Jani does a school guidance counselor count? I’m in a high school that has guidance counsellors

 

One can start the ball rolling for sure. They may put you in touch with someone else down the line but if they are professional they can help you for the short run. 

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Markjvp
36 minutes ago, VickySGV said:

 

One can start the ball rolling for sure. They may put you in touch with someone else down the line but if they are professional they can help you for the short run. 

Ok i might talk to my guidance counsel or soon but for now I’m too scared to do it I’m not really good at talking to people in real life that I don’t know

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VickySGV

GD (Gender Dysphoria) can affect us in many ways that get in our way of job work / school work, just feeling way down, or even relations with school mates and family.  Start on those topics: "not good at talking to people" is a great starter all by itself for a guidance counselor at school. 😊

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Jani

I suppose it depends whether you have spoken with them in the past and feel comfortable doing so.  They are a good first starting point as Vicky notes.  You don't have to jump right in with your gender questions. 

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Markjvp

Yea I'll might not go with gender questions yet but I don't know when I'll do it because I'm better at it online than offline I guess pretty much because it's like sending someone a letter but sent faster

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Jackie C.

My therapist set me up with You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery by Dara Hoffman-Fox LPC. It's aimed at people who are questioning (and I've never been so certain of anything else in my life) so I didn't get a lot out of it, but it was a good read and you might. The style isn't too academic and it's not a particularly difficult read.

 

Hugs!

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Markjvp

Thank you 

Hugs to you too

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Jynestia

I don't want to hijack the post but wow. The button concept? That one hit me. I would smash that button so hard and not even think twice about it. I have some things to think about now, and some new books to look up.

 

I agree with talking to the guidance counselor. Being in high school is hard. Part of their job is helping you navigate that. They probably can't get you all the way there, but I will bet they can get you in the right direction.

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Belle

Yep. There's never been a point in my life when I wouldn't have hit that button without hesitation. Apparently that's a strong sign that I'm trans.

 

For some reason the idea that I could transition never occurred to me until I actually accepted that I like that part of me.

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tapeleg42

I've been hemming and hawing over my gender identity for about a year now, unsure if my feelings aren't about being trans but just some misplaced projection of my other issues.  But the fact is I would slam that button so hard.  Plus, whenever I get so overwhelmed and frustrated with my own doubt gremlins I always end up thinking, "This would be so much easier if I had just been born a female."  I still have things to work out with my therapist, but those two notions are pretty strong signs, I think.

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MetaLicious
On 1/8/2020 at 10:32 AM, Markjvp said:

Yea it’s true that you shouldn’t run wild with online tests only you can truly define your gender 

One thing the tests can tell you - if you're looking for gender tests, you are most likely trans.  It simply never occurs to cis-people to question their gender, because there's no incongruency in the first place.  Various tests I took placed me in the 66%-90% female range, and would probably do so for most cis-women, because every one of us exists on a spectrum.  The thing is, cis-women don't question their gender over a love of (insert stereotypically masculine hobby here).  So, really, it's not the results of the tests that tell you where you stand - it's the fact that you're looking for such tests in the first place!

 

On 1/14/2020 at 9:09 PM, Belle said:

Yep. There's never been a point in my life when I wouldn't have hit that button without hesitation. Apparently that's a strong sign that I'm trans.

The concept of the magic button was the best thing I ever took away from one of those online tests.  The answers were like, "What? NO!", "Maybe...", and "Sure!" , but the one that cracked me up was "I hit that button before I finished reading the question!"  That was me, all the way.

 

Another online test made me smile by presenting a button that said "Make me a Woman!"  You'd press it, and then it took you to a loading screen that had a cancel button.  After some time elapsed, a new screen came up - "You already are a woman.  Now what are you going to about it?"

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Markjvp
1 hour ago, MetaLicious said:

Another online test made me smile by presenting a button that said "Make me a Woman!"  You'd press it, and then it took you to a loading screen that had a cancel button.  After some time elapsed, a new screen came up - "You already are a woman.  Now what are you going to about it?"

i know something like that its called something like turn me into a girl

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