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A random thought


A. Dillon

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What if trans people could have some sort of body swap programs? I mean, I am sure that there are plenty of trans women out there who would love to have the curves and features I have and despise, while I am often sorely in need of some height, body hair, and muscle. It would save a lot of time, money, effort, and, above all, unnecessary dysphoria. 

 

I know that this is not exactly a very serious thought, but it is something that I always think of because I end up (for some reason) feeling guilty when I want to go on testosterone because I think of all the trans women who couldn't grow up in this body. It is not reasonable,  it I still feel bad. I can't even really give an amount to all of the things that I would do to have been born male, but I can tell you that it is a lot, and it feels like a shame. Does anyone else relate to that feeling? I can't always tell whether it is the guilt built into me for wanting to be a man, or genuinely just a thought that people have.

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Tragically, I've seen porn with that very theme. So... rule 36.

 

While I'd love to be able to do it, I'd feel bad about off-loading this wreck on somebody else. Seriously, my genetic problems alone... and if we had the technology to fix that, we'd just be able to print me a new body to order and it could be as curvy as I like. When I'm thinking what if, I usually think "Upload into clone body." Just because the one I was born with is such a lemon.

 

Yeah, I've thought about it though. I'd do a lot to have been born a woman. Some of those things are pretty terrible. I'd commit atrocities to look like my friend Xena for example. The sort of thing that gets you into history books, but not in a good way.

 

Hugs!

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I was thinking along these lines this morning on my grueling commute in crappy weather.  

I try to think of how a trans man feels trying to get rid of all the things I so desperately want.  What their feelings of dysphoria feels like.  Is it like mine? 

I have the body they would want and hate it.  All that dang body hair! (yuck)

I do see the attraction to wanting what the other "side" has and feeling guilty about destroying parts of yourself that others would almost kill for.  It seems unfair in a cosmic way. To waste something someone else wants so badly.

 

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Yes, I have been told all my life I am a handsome boy/man. And I have felt bad about wasting it to be a woman that will, frankly, probably be pretty ugly in my opinion. It's part of my struggle.

 

The last two days I have been trying to determine if I could just get over body dysphoria and accept the incongruence. Kind of like thinking of myself as an FtM that wasn't really transgender in the first place.

 

Belle ❤️

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2 hours ago, Belle said:

accept the incongruence.

In a way, thats what natal women hopefully do when they think they don't measure up. If you fear you don't meet the benchmark, get a new yardstick!   Keep reminding yourself that people come in all shapes and sizes, and that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  We're all beautiful! 

 

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Along the same or similar lines, I came out to the young girl next door, she is 21, and I had told her that I would probably be going for breast implants at some point. She looked at me funny and hesitated, then came out with "really? ..." and when I had told her that I would.  I could see she wanted to tell me something but wanted her to be open like normal. I let it go for a few minutes and we just sat there looking around at the scenery.

She finally told me, that she would love to be able to get a breast reduction. This caught me off guard. I didnt know what to say to that. So I decided to suggest we have both procedures done at the same time. She could be on one table and me on another. She could donate her excess to me and save us both a lot of trouble.  I was looking at her and smiling. She looked at me and said "they can do that?" I burst out laughing and said "No". Guess what? She hit me.  No respect for her elders. :)  BTW True Story.

 

Have nice day

Canadian Hugs all

 

JoniSteph

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I had a similar thought along these lines. I was imagining sometime in the not so distant future when trans people can inhabit virtual bodies in a virtual reality. Indeed, creating a space where one can be a virtual figure is possible now. But I imagine a virtual world perhaps generated by computer/internet where one can inhabit any body for nearly as long as they wish physically experiencing the sensation of that body and change or swap with someone else at any time. 

 

Hugs,

Robin

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4 hours ago, MaryMary said:

Switch in the Matrix was supposed to be a trans character, your post reminds me of the Matrix

I have seen that movie so many times. Maybe that's how this idea came to me. ? It would seem like one's body choices would be infinite. In my own case, I would mostly want to inhabit a slender blonde, blue-eyed 20 years old. She would be endowed with a pear-shaped figure, C cup breasts and long legs. 

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That would be my dream come true, oh I wish that could be done.  Five foot three, an hour glass figure, and age 21, and of course very pretty,

might as well go for it all. 

Donna

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I currently am 5'3" with a lot of curves, but I would love to be around 5'9", with a good build and really strong jawline accented by a solid beard. I would also love a really rich voice, with a bit of gravel but smooth while singing.

 

This really is kind of fun, especially since (except the height thing) they are technically possible.

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2 hours ago, A. Dillon said:

This really is kind of fun, especially since (except the height thing) they are technically possible.

What comes around, goes around. We all are seeking to match our outsides to our insides and yes, these things are technically possible.

 

Hugs,

 

Robin 

 

 

 

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I think about this often. I would

love to be 6’4” (my dad’s height) and buff with a deep voice! I’m 5’7” with a curvy body and a high voice. I’ve always been told that I could be a model. That seemed like such a waste, since I wanted a man’s body and features. I’d gladly swap bodies with an average dude.
 

Of course, I would also love to not have crippling misophonia or ocd.

 

The deep voice and buff body may come in time, though!

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You are probably better off discussing your physical options with a physician. Maybe you've already done that. There are other FtM members here who could also offer helpful advice. I wish you the best of luck! Believe me, I relate to your feelings of dysphoria.

 

Hugs,

 

Robin68

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Oh wow, I know exactly how this feels.  I know someone who last year had top surgery to remove their breasts.  They sent up a fund for people to donate so they could afford it.  After the surgery they started going on testosterone injections and have been posting progress photos periodically on social media.  The look on their face in the photos is one of pure joy having the body they feel comfortable in.

 

Now, I donated some money to the fund, and I am super glad for them to be experiencing that much happiness.  But at the same time, I feel a sense of...frustration, that they decided to get rid of something I really wish I had.  Same when they talk about how happy they are over newly acquired body hair, something I actively despise about my own body.  It sucks, and I don't have any answers, but commiserating here can be cathartic.

 

Has anyone ever read the manga One Piece?  It's about pirates who can gain superpowers by eating cursed fruits.  One character ate a fruit that gave him the power to control the hormones in his and other people's bodies, and one such ability is demonstrated when, to stop an assassination, he turned the assassin, a hulking, muscular brute into a curvaceous, beautiful woman.  Reading for the first time almost 10 years ago, it made me feel uncomfortable, and now I realize that it unknowingly set off some dysphoria in my mind.   If that ability was available in real life, I'd accept it in a heartbeat.

 

(Here's the scene in question, for those who are curious.  If this may trigger your own dysphoria, I'd say avoid it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kym7rG8ENTE)

 

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On 1/8/2020 at 3:19 PM, Jackie C. said:

When I'm thinking what if, I usually think "Upload into clone body." Just because the one I was born with is such a lemon.

That's where my fantasy takes me.  I'd love to keep "my" body, but just with XX chromosomes, and an appropriate puberty.

 

On 1/8/2020 at 6:50 PM, Jani said:

In a way, thats what natal women hopefully do when they think they don't measure up. If you fear you don't meet the benchmark, get a new yardstick!   Keep reminding yourself that people come in all shapes and sizes, and that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  We're all beautiful! 

When I find my jealous of some ot the women in media, I have to remind myself that 99% of ciswomen are jealous of those women for the same reason!

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I totally get it! I have an hour glass figure and so many of my MtF friends joke they would snag my hips and or a cup size or two if I didnt want them.  I laughed about it while secretly wishing they really could because that would make us both so happy.  Top surgery while I have friends wearing padding feels unfair.  

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