Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

What do your kids call you once to transition?


ShawnaLeigh

Recommended Posts

So just coming out to my two youngest (adult) kids I had told them "I will always be your dad".

Right now being called Dad by then is a natural thing for me to hear.  Even though it mis-genders me now.

I am their Dad still.  

Once I am further down the road with my transition though this may start being/feeling/being weird to me and maybe even them too.

I certainly do not feel they will ever call me mom.  Maybe mom will slowing fade in as my new "title" to them but I don't think so.

I don't think they will just call me by name either.  New or old.  

I just wanted to have some suggestions for them if they ask.  

What are suggestions to cover this?

Link to comment
  • Admin

My then teenage son began calling me Carolyn immediately.  He still addresses his mother as Mom.  I think, for our family, that works well.  If he talks about me to someone else, he uses "my parent."

 

Carolyn

Link to comment
  • Admin

First name with my 40 year old+ children and grand kids.  Sibling with my one remaining brother.  Parent or grand parent when relationships in the family are used.  I gave my grand children the option of using Granda but they prefer my first name, and there is no less love or respect for it. 

Link to comment

I feel like I'll always be in the 'dad' role. Even if I am able to transition and stay married?I'll still be me, and in the same role I'm in right now.

 

When it comes to grandkids eventually I may have a more female name.

 

Belle ❤️

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
4 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

 

I don't think they will just call me by name either.  New or old.  

I just wanted to have some suggestions for them if they ask.  

What are suggestions to cover this?

Early on, this was a tough one for me to figure out with two of my daughters and all the grandkids (I’m effectively dead to my third daughter). My wife is called “Nanna” and their other grandparent is called “Grandma” so those were already taken.  I thought using the endearment “Mammy” was an ok suggestion from a few friends but the Grandkids didn’t like it.  As of this Christmas, the grandkids all started calling me ”Nana Susan”.   My daughters call me ”Nana Susan” too if the grandkids are around us.  If my daughters are not with the kids they refer to me as just plain ”Susan”.  It sounds sorta complicated but it really hasn’t been and it works for us.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
2 hours ago, MaryMary said:

When other people outside think I'm their mom they swiftly correct them and say "no no no, she's my father". It almost seem like a point of honor for them, lol

That's awesome! How old are they?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I am Grandy to my grand children.  Hopefully my son remembers to use that as well at least in public.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

When my grandchildren asked what name to call me, I asked them to suggest a nice name they could pick that wat they know it will always be unique to me.  They came up with "Maddie." Their born-again religious mother however told them immediately while I was present to never talk about me, or ask me about transitioning my gender.  When my older sisters were told about my new nickname they said my grandchildren should be calling me, "Grandpa sicko," "Confused Grandpa," "Idiot Grandpa," or "Maddie is the insane Grandpa." (so much for sibling support....)

 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Laura76 said:

When my grandchildren asked what name to call me, I asked them to suggest a nice name they could pick that wat they know it will always be unique to me.  They came up with "Maddie." Their born-again religious mother however told them immediately while I was present to never talk about me, or ask me about transitioning my gender.  When my older sisters were told about my new nickname they said my grandchildren should be calling me, "Grandpa sicko," "Confused Grandpa," "Idiot Grandpa," or "Maddie is the insane Grandpa." (so much for sibling support....)

 

This is terrible.  How can someone that is suppose to love you be so mean.  I’m sorry it is like that’s for you.  ?

Link to comment
  • Admin

My goodness, that is one of the worst things I've heard @Laura76, and I've been here a long time.  So needlessly cruel and heartless.  Born-again Christian?  Christ would be appalled.  There is nothing Christian about what your family is doing to you.  I'm so sorry.  ?

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Thank you ShawnaLeigh, and Carolyn Marie.  It has been about two years since I've seen my Grandchildren, or spoke with my older sisters. After my son and his wife moved to another state, we have not been in contact.  Also since that time, my older sisters and I have not spoken.

Link to comment

I have 3 grown boys. My oldest is 40. Youngest is 30. All my boys call me Dad. There Mother My most loving Wife was taken from this earthly life in 2010. I started my transition then. In 2016 I became a women. To my boys I am still Dad. 

Link to comment

I suppose it’s only logical.  At some level you are who you are to your children. I am their parent.  The person who fathered them.  They grew up knowing me as dad.  I don’t have an issue being that parent for them.  
Will it be awkward to be called dad shopping with my daughter in public.  Perhaps.  I’d think especially in the early stages of being out in public as myself.  But I can handle such things.  
For me at this stage I’m trying to completely shed everything male.  But I do not want to remove myself from being a parent.  
So they call me dad.  It’s also the name my four dogs know me as.  That will never change either.  Lol

Link to comment

My younger sister starts with my deadname and then switches, so she calls me AnSarah! which I have to admit, I find adorable.

Link to comment

My wife asked me this the other day. I said well I'm dad and I always will be dad. I've just started my journey and have not fully transitioned which may be why it doesn't bother me.

Link to comment

I was talking with my wife last night, because I was uncomfortable with the fact that I have come out to everyone except my 8-year old son.  She asked me why would I, unless I wanted something to change. Honestly, he's spent most of his life calling me Mom-Dad as often as he calls me Dad.  I supported him when he wanted to wear skirts or anything shiny, pink or purple, and he's already supporting me with my cosmetic changes.  I'll be honest if he asks questions, but I think I'm comfortable being Dad regardless of how far along I am in my journey.

Link to comment

I have yet to breech this with any of my adult kids.  My youngest is 18 and she no longer lives with us.  
I think at this point I will always be dad unless they feel uncomfortable calling me that while seeing me as a fully presenting women.  
I'm leaving it up to them.  
Unless I’m flirting with someone while shopping and my kid starts calling out to me as dad.  
I will have to smack her for that.  

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 88 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Hi   boy you back to work and miss lots.  No time to catch up right now. But I will.   just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here.   willow
    • Davie
      "No one feels alone in a bookstore."
    • Davie
      Thanks, @VickySGVfor some truth. Hatred may speak loudly in a political agenda, but there is always love, there is always love.
    • VickySGV
      Doesn't this belong over in the Humor Topic??  Grim humor I admit, but it has the dark humor picture of the folks protesting the Sacramento Sanctuary Laws.  If the world is going to end next week why are these people so concerned about someone staying fertile and able to have children??   Crazy.
    • VickySGV
      Once again the opposition is telling scary, unfounded  baloney about what IS being done to any Trans Person.  The truth about the very little and very cautious treatments just will not sink into them because it will sink them.  They bully their own Cis children unmercifully to fit into their molds, and that is gruesome in itself. I am happy to say I know that Trans children and all Trans folks in the area have access to wonderful care based on what some of my former State colleagues who have Trans family members and fellow employees there in Sacramento keep telling me about. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/local-politics/republicans-gop-ballot-initiatives-target-transgender-people/73-c47ad7ee-40ca-43e0-bb83-07e662eb1029   The reason CO has a Dem super majority is b/c it's a very blue state. A ballot initiative is going to go absolutely nowhere. They're wasting their time.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/sacramento-sanctuary-city-transgender-people-rcna145287     Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      good for you dear. my guess is soreness is good sign things are going on there. water them n hope. smiles   actually was speaking to someone other day n they said the growth leveled off after a few years  which coincided with a few years of very high stress..n then when the high stress resolved, she grew another cup size..
    • missyjo
      darling I completely agree. but it will need road testing I'd think.    and I recently asked a surgeon about an idea I had for easier recovery...do a zero depth 1st..recover then add a canal..he said NO. this surgery is hard enough on body to recover, do not do it any more than needed. also said penile inversion usually is sufficient n includes a few centimeters of perineum tissue anyway..so keep the perineum pull through as a reserve technique in case there is a problem with theb penile inversion.    hugs to any who want them
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I can't tell from the article if being trans was part of the motivation for the crime, or whether it was simply incidental to it. Clearly at least one of the perpetrators was known to the victim, which seems to continue the pattern that the most dangerous people for us are often people we know.  😒
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Beans, beans, the musical fruit...   But beans and rice make a complete protein, and a pretty cheap base for any sort of meal. Since two of my partners are Hispanic and one is Asian, we use a lot of rice. Plenty of beans too, although 90% of the time they are on the form of black-eyed peas. That crop grows really well in the South no matter how hot and dry it gets.  And the Native American trio of corn, beans, and squash is a classic.  Actually, those ingredients tend to show clearly whether kids were raised with a healthy diet or not. Kids raised eating those foods luke them. Kids raised without experiencing those foods tend to reject them immediately. Rather strange.
    • Ashley0616
      I feel a little better about going outside. I got my EpiPen just in case of an emergency. Today was rough started euphoric and then depression hit real hard and I don't even know what it was about. It just happened. I want to see a bright future but it turns dim because of something. I was disappointed on how much supplemental insurance was more than regular health insurance. I enjoy seeing other successful people making it as a couple through everything in fact I cheer them on but it just makes me think if I will find anyone. I barely dated anyone when I was physically fit male and then it seems the older I get it gets harder. Not to mention everyone down here leaves as soon as they find out I'm trans. It's only going to get more difficult because of borderline personality disorder. It's dang near seems impossible that people would even put up with that. After all that I'm still trying to be positive and hope for the best but I always expect the worst and that has always been the case. Pushing 40 and I haven't even experienced true love.
    • Ashley0616
      Couldn't be any more truthful!
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon everyone,    I’ve been working in the shop and preparing a few training props for shipping. So my responses and activity here has been very slow. I’m doing well just real tired.    Hugs,    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Mmindy
      That’s good news, listen to your doctors and your body. You may be asked to start a daily exercise routine and walking around the neighborhood. The worst thing you can do is become sedentary and laying around.    Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...