Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Cara

Question on post-op vaginal penetration

Recommended Posts

Cara

Hi! I have a very personal question about post-op vaginal penetration...

 

I had SRS with Dr Melter in 1999. It's always been very painful throughout the experience of intercourse. The only real way for it to not be painful is to dilate immediately before intercourse, but of course this is not practical to do. It doesn't matter if I've dilated the day before or a few hours before, I get too tight for penetration. That's even if I have dilated every day for a couple weeks -- it doesn't help.

 

I also have what I believe is some left-over spongy tissue right at the bottom of the "V" between my pelvic bones where the vagina is. It sticks out about a centimeter or two and doesn't change whether I'm aroused or not, so I don't know if that's normal or not.

Is this normal for others or do you find it very easy to have sex? I am considering making an appt with the surgeon again but of course don't want another surgery.

 

Thank you!

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Cara I cannot say what is normal as we're all different but it is something you should have checked out if it bothers you.  It is possible for the surgeon to do a small office procedure that alleviates your issues.  

 

Why don't you make a brief introduction.  We'd like to meet you.

 

Jani 

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

I will be having my 7th VJayJay day here tomorrow and while not as far back as your's was, something does not sound right about what is happening.  I know that Dr. Meltzer (who was my second choice) and his colleague have made some improvements in what they do since your time and may be worth contacting about the idea of revision.  I confess that my P/V sex is pretty limited, but my vaginal ring stays open almost too well.  Most of my immediate post op friends who are active do not have problems with stricture although one makes dilation part of her foreplay.  (TMI I know).  I cannot diagnose your problem, but granulation and scarring do come to mind.    

Share this post


Link to post
Cara

Ok thanks! I had not considered that maybe my issue could be addressed with a small office procedure. I reached out to Dr Meltzer's office for a consult as well, but of course scheduling is a few months out and I wanted to get an opinion from others too. Since I posted this thread, I came across a website where men talk about intercourse with post-op women, and it seems that it is actually typical for us to be on the "tight" side. It was really hard to post this without giving too much TMI myself, so I appreciate the honest feedback.

 

I recently broke up with my long-term boyfriend, where he and I worked around my sexual 'limitations', but two nights ago had sex with a new man and ran into the same problem, so I thought I'd reach out.

 

As far as myself, I started HRT at age 21 in 1995 and had SRS at age 24. I am pretty much stealth in my life except for telling my long-term lovers and my bff (a cis-woman). I haven't been in contact with anyone in the trans- community since around the year 2000. I've seen our "community" get prominently brought to the forefront of people's attention in recent years, for better or for worse. In the past people didn't really know much about us, and now it seems everyone has an opinion (for better or for worse). But nevertheless I'm pleasantly surprised at what those of us who are advocates are doing, and I absolutely love Kim Petras who I've recently seen in concert twice 🙂

 

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

@CaraI was 65 when I had my surgery with Dr. Bowers just when she was becoming famous and long lines formed.  I had talked to her and Dr. Meltzer in 2009 and I had shared a table one night with Dr. Meltzer at Southern Comfort Conference in 2009.  I have watched the changes happen since the late 1990's and do believe it is generally for the better.  I have met a few of your "classmates" from the early 1990's and admire what they did for what was literally survival then.  Being part of a Chorus here in Los Angeles that is all Trans people gives me a different take on being out, but I love it as it is. I also work with Trans children and their families as a community resource and would not have it any other way.  

Share this post


Link to post
Cara

Ok, I got a call-back from a nurse at the surgeon's office, and they have a treatment plan for both issues. Fyi, it's to dilate every day for a couple months and see if that improves things, and secondly they'll take a look at some photos of the other tissue to determine what it is -- if it turns out to be anything that shouldn't be there it can likely be handled as an office procedure.

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV
39 minutes ago, Cara said:

I got a call-back from a nurse at the surgeon's office, and they have a treatment plan for both issues.

 

You are on the way girl.  It will be worth the work.

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Very good Cara.  Never delay health care.

Share this post


Link to post
Cara

Just to clarify for anyone else that might be reading this thread later -- this is not in any way a criticism of Dr Meltzer's surgical technique. I need to clarify my initial comment of intercourse always being painful for me -- I did not have intercourse for several years after the operation, and in that time I stopped dilating. Years went by without me dilating. It was entirely on me and I completely acknowledge this. In fact it is quite remarkable that I didn't have additional problems with closure. When I finally did start having intercourse, I found it painful but that was only because of my own inattention to the requirement to dilate post-op. Otherwise I am and have always been fully orgasmic by stimulating my mons pubis, labia, and clitoral area.

 

Good luck to everyone on their journey through this world!

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   13 Members, 0 Anonymous, 236 Guests (See full list)

    • MetaLicious
    • Willa
    • Carolyn Marie
    • KymmieL
    • Aidan5
    • Dakota16
    • MaryEllen
    • Charlize
    • lauraincolumbia
    • Jackie C.
    • ToniTone
    • Kyler R.
    • vince
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      69,750
    • Total Posts
      630,393
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      6,099
    • Most Online
      8,356

    vince
    Newest Member
    vince
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Callie40
      Callie40
      (45 years old)
  • Posts

    • KymmieL
      The Cheyenne VA hospital is great as far as I am concerned. I have had no troubles at all. My Dr's are fantastic. Unfortunately they have no endo. I will be seeing the one down at the Denver VA. Good thing I get travel pay. Just recently found out that I can claim travel for any appointment at VA based on my disability percentage. My GYN's nurse found out for me.   I feel totally safe when I am at the VA. I use the ladies room. dress how I feel.of course girly.   Kymmie
    • Aidan5
      Some one hit me with the skills on how to flirt because I am terrible and I know, the new kid just laughs at my miserable attempts, I think he finds it cute that I try. Sadly I am about as smooth as sandpaper. So I tried to get revenge for him dropping his phone on me when it said "Hints" So he was dropping hints on me. So I wrote "Hints on a piece of paper and dropped it on him, for revenge. He was like "Ah, I see your true feelings." And I panicked and said "Ha, no it's just revenge from earlier." He obviously didn't believe me and just laughed. Someone please teach me how to flirt so I can compete, he is a smooth as butter! He is always trying to hold hands so I do it back, He told me to move to the back of the bus with him and I said no playfully and he said "I will kiss you right now if you don't" (Also playing) I froze up ack. I need halp haha
    • Aidan5
      Welcome to the forum Michaela!    We welcome you with opens arms and open minds, I hope you can find the same comfort I did here
    • Jackie C.
      That's the spirit! Also a good attitude when you're waiting for anything else you care to do while transitioning like getting approved for HRT or bottom surgery if you choose to pursue either of those things. Probably FFS too, but I haven't signed up for that one. I don't want to get TOO pretty. My friends would be jealous. 😘   Hugs!
    • secondlook
      Totally agree. I figure, I've been waiting 40-plus years to get this stuff figured out, what's another couple days?
    • Jackie C.
      Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that. I've had that happen before, but it was always an emergency out of their control. Deep breath and remember that therapists have lives and obligations too. Last time it happened to me, my therapist's firstborn was in the hospital so yeah, I cut her some slack. I'm cool like that.   I'm sure they'll reschedule you as soon as they can. Hang in there, it'll happen.   Hugs!
    • secondlook
      Would you believe that my therapist canceled on me 10 minutes before my appointment was set to start? Unreal. I'm trying to be chill about it, so far that's working, but we'll see how soon I can get rescheduled. Good thing it wasn't an in-person appointment.
    • BEAN_CHILD
      yaaaaaaay :DDD
    • TrIIIy
      I have a Carhart work coat that is amazingly warm. It also is great for passing in public, because it covers my torso. I got it at Academy.
    • TammyAnne
      ShawnaLeigh I hope everything goes well for you. Sorry that you've already had to endure surgery there without the results you'd wished for (orchi I mean). Maybe third time is the charm? TA
    • A. Dillon
      Oh yeah, those are really high quality and masculine in their design. They can last for years.   If you are trying to navigate your fashion surroundings, looking for what is worn in your area is the clearest way to get on track. 
    • Jackie C.
      My surgeon? I've got just a hair over one more week. Well, a shade under two... Eh, eleven days.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      Well for @ShawnaLeigh's case, sure. There are lumps. Those need to be addressed and tested for Bad Things. The guy in Farmington Hills does orchis on the weekends for $10K a pop. Jar included. I only know about him because he does the work with just informed consent which is unusual. Most doctors require the standard two gender therapist recommendation letters.   Hugs!
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Yes I told you it would happen.  It was not a welcome thing for me either.  Quite the opposite.  I will pray for you to you know who.  
    • VickySGV
      In some states that is illegal, I don't know about yours.  Mine were sent to a lab that sliced them up to check for cancer which thankfully did not happen.  Sending them for that purpose helps insurance companies have a reason to pay the bills for the Op too.
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...