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DylanR

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DylanR

Hi y’all, 

 

For a long time I’ve felt like I’m unable to speak, almost trapped inside of myself. I’ve been in transition for 4 years now and although I am happy with where I am and the progress I’ve made it seems as though the fighting endured to get to this point has lead my to be trapped in this never ending defensive state. I don’t have many friends, in public I mostly just smile and nod, caught between hoping for a conversation and wishing the conversation would end. 
 

Does anyone else ever feel like you watch life behind glass, like you’re at the most beautiful museum on earth? 
 

I feel like I’ve been so caught up in my transition that my whole life became about it and as I look around I keep seeing life happen without me. 
 

Honestly everyone I’m sad, and lonely, I don’t know what to do anyone more. I just keep feeling myself get worse and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions would be incredibly nice and welcomed. 
 

Thank you for your time. 

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TrIIIy

Hi, Dylan.

 

I’m no therapist, but it sounds to me like you would benefit from engaging in the world around you through hobbies and things that you enjoy. Transitioning is a wonderful thing, but there is always more to life. Try not to be afraid to pick up an old pastime or even reach out to an old friend. You will make new friends here who might share your interests as well. Don’t be shy about reaching out for support here. You’ve done that already, so good for you!

 

-Trey

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Robin

Hi Dylan,

 

The feelings that you describe could be what is known as dissociation.  This is caused by emotional trauma, and it is your mind's way of protecting you from stressful situations.  There is quite a lot of information about this on the internet, and it might be worth you doing a bit of research into trauma related issues.

 

Robin.

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Jackie C.

Have you talked to a therapist? I've found mine to be incredibly helpful during my transition. For me though, the secret is to never stop trying to become the person you want to be. While I'm still struggling out of my cocoon, I've taken the opportunity to make new friends, develop better habits and just generally chase my dreams. Transitioning was one dream, while I'm working on that, I can try and catch a few more.

 

I really recommend finding a therapist though. I'm going to suggest BetterHelp.com if you don't already have one in mind. The advantages there are that they're relatively inexpensive and, more importantly, you don't have to leave the house for sessions. I know that can be difficult when you're struggling with depression.

 

In the meantime, you can always find a sympathetic ear here. We're good listeners and we won't judge. Best of luck sweetie!

 

Hugs!

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Susan R
6 hours ago, TrIIIy said:

I’m no therapist, but it sounds to me like you would benefit from engaging in the world around you through hobbies and things that you enjoy.

Great advice Trilly...the world will go on without us.  It’s like most things...you get what you put into it.  It’s takes motivation to engage in activities we are unfamiliar with but if you try a few on for size I think you’d be surprised how many activities you never realized you enjoy.  For example...Try volunteering somewhere....there are endless opportunities in most metropolitan areas.  Pick one and get information...make a few calls and see what they need.  That way you help not only yourself but possibly someone else in need.  It’s a great feeling.

 

Susan R🌷

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Robin68
On 1/17/2020 at 5:58 AM, DylanR said:

Honestly everyone I’m sad, and lonely, I don’t know what to do anyone more. I just keep feeling myself get worse and I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions would be incredibly nice and welcomed. 

Hello Dylan,

 

I identify so strongly with these feelings. I suspect that expressing your needs here for the first time may have taken a lot of courage, as it did for me. You have taken the first essential step to self-healing. I agree with those who recommend seeking a therapist but I also suggest seeking out resources available in the transgender community near you. Since you live in Texas, your best bet might be finding ways to connect with the communities in  larger cities. This would aid you in ending the self destructive isolation. You are always welcome here as well. This is a safe place where you will find love and acceptance. ❤️

 

Hugs,

 

Robin68

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