Shaving your head or...???

[ShawnaLeigh]

Well I’ve come to the conclusion that my male pattern baldness will never grow back enough to to have a lushes head of female hair.  So be it. 
So I need to know how I should keep my hair to accept a wig.  Cut real short? Or shaven bald or what?

i realize there are different caps and not sure which is for me yet.  So I am open for suggestions on him to start this process.  
I will need a wig for someone active.  Hiking hunting and golf. Who knows what else.  So definitely one that will stay on and stay sexy. Lol
 

[Kate Carter]

Hi Shawna,

I'm kind of in the same boat, MPB recovered a good bit, but at 15 months of HRT, I'm probably just hanging onto false hope for a full head of hair.  I was clean shaven for a long time (20 years), and I'm not sure that's the best way to go.  In my experience, my skin wasn't too happy with the wig cap being on it all the time.  You can wear protective caps and then the wig, but I'd also think just having some shortish hair cover might give a little more protection, as well as provide some grip for some wigs with small hair combs to hold them in place.

 

The other option you should look into before changing your current hair would be toppers.  In men the short styles aren't often the best looking, but there are long haired female toppers with human hair that can be dyed, styled, and blended with your natural hair.  I'm growing mine out now to pursue that option.  Depending on where you live, it's potentially a much more comfortable solution, temperature/humidity-wise, and provides more flexibility for exercise.

 

Figures that my first post would be about MPB.

 

Best of luck,

Kate

[ShawnaLeigh]

Thank you very much Kate and may I say welcome with a warm heart.  
I am thinking about just going in to get my standard cut soon as my attempt to grow my hair again has failed.  So I am conceding defeat and I have ordered an inexpensive wig to use around the house and “practice “.  I live in Vermont so I am not so worried about the heat and humidity, especially right now.  Lol

 

[SaraAW]

Nothing to add other than my support for both to find a solution you’re happy with. I know how important hair can be to ones self identity. *hugs*

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Shawna,

Just make sure you don't get a wig that's too tight. There are tiny blood vessels under your scalp and if you wear a wig that is too tight, it can restrict the blood flow and give you a headache.

 

Lots of love, 

Timber Wolf ?

[Kate Carter]

Thanks for the welcome Shawna!

Yes,  I go back and forth all the time on whether to keep growing it out or give up and shave it again.  By failed,  do you mean it was just too thinned out?  I got a lot of hair to come back,  but I’m not sure if it’s going to eventually grow out normally,  or stay kind of short and wispy.  A lot of people post initial excitement about new hair growth,  but you never hear from them again about results after a few years.  I take it to mean it doesn’t typically go well,  or there would be more stories of success out there besides one heavily recycled story.  
 

Good luck with wig purchase,  I suppose the weather IS much more forgivIng for wig wear in Vermont.

 

Kate

[VickySGV]

2 hours ago, Kate Carter said:

A lot of people post initial excitement about new hair growth,  but you never hear from them again

 

Ten years on E and I do have a few areas of MPB which I show off in a series of pictures in my Gallery here.  My hair went from semi coarse to very fine, but very plentiful aside from my temples and even some thinning on top reversed.  My hair stylist whom I saw this past Wednesday and I have a standing joke that my hair is the only Straight thing about me.  She has an AMAB sister though who has some of the longest and thickest hair I can even imagine.  I have met the sister and we run into each other in the community.  This is a good recent picture (i8  months ago) and while I do color it, its all mine here. https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/gallery/image/13602-voted1118bjpg/

[ShawnaLeigh]

10 hours ago, Kate Carter said:

By failed,  do you mean it was just too thinned out?

I have been on SM hrt on and off for a few years.  More off then on.  Until last November when I chose to stop risking my health and now on doctor supervised hrt.  So I have a long history of lowering T and my hair never responded or came back.  It’s very thinned out on top and above the temps is not as bad but it is not the lushes thick I once had.  

[Kate Carter]

Thanks Vicky and Shawna!

Nice to see you have had some results Vicky, gives a little hope.  I was very very bald as a male,  Norwood 6+ probably... no hair on top at all.  In fact,  it was one of the reasons I tossed out the possibility of transitioning at all in my early twenties,  was the death of my dreams really up to that moment.  Then I started a new dream... getting married and having children. I’m doing the works,  EV injections, Minoxidil, and Finasteride.  I have had bare minimum T from one month in to 15 months in, so skipped the spiro.  I now have hair over a lot of my scalp,  whether there was literally nothing before.  To be sure,  it’s still thin,  I just went from bald to balding,  and it’s opened up the door to possibilities down the road and other interventions.  I’m just trying to understand from others with multiple years of HRT, whether I can expect this new hair to continue thickening for some time still, or is this as good as it is going to get.  I can live with wigs,  but would be nice to not have to. 

[ShawnaLeigh]

I just went to have my hair cut to my old mans military style.  I ordered a inexpensive wig off amazon to play around with it and learn how to wear it and the up keep.

I may have to reorder a few to get a few different looks going to see what I like.  They were under $20 but I was amazed by the quality and the way it looks so real.  

 

[Jackie C.]

The cheap ones don't look so great for long. I'd still recommend introducing yourself to your local wig shop and trying on stuff in there. You can see yourself in more styles and if you take a girl friend, get a vital second opinion (or maybe a third if whoever is helping you is chatty). Also it's fun and sometimes you get free product (wig shampoo, conditioner, etc...).

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

I really appreciate everyone’s experience here.  I am mostly bald and need to wear a wig.  I have two.  One I bought at a wig shop and paid a wig shop price.  The other I bought online for a wig store.  Clearly less expensive and lower quality but also not an Amazon toy either.

 

i too am wondering what if I cut my natural hair really short.  How will it affect how either wig stays on my head.  The better wig is a better color for me but I wish it was longer and had a “large” cap. It is adjustable but set at its biggest it will ride up in the back.  The other is a large cap so it isn’t tight to squeeze up.  I wish there was a way to keep them in place so if anyone has an idea about how to do it let me (all of us) know your secret.  
 

oh and both of my wigs have CoolCaps and don’t bother me anymore than no wig down here in the south.

 

Willow

[ShawnaLeigh]

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I'd still recommend introducing yourself to your local wig shop and trying on stuff in there.

Its on my things to do list for sure.  I already have one close by and it is by appointment only.  High dollar stuff too.  But I plan to go this route once I figure out some how to and fit first on a cheaper one that I don't care if I destroy it in a month or two.  

[Kate Carter]

I don’t even want to think how much I’ve blown on wigs over the years,  definitely know what DOESN’T work for me after all that.  

 

Fit is everything,  I’ve gotten some horrible headaches and scalp/forehead blisters from poorly fit wigs worn for days in end. Definitely worse than suffering a few hours for cute shoes!

[MiraM]

I have been on HRT for two years and have had no change in my hair.  I still have the same amount of baldness as I did.   I keep what remaining hair I have cut to about 1/16" to 1/8".  I detest wearing a wig cap under my wigs.  To me they are very uncomfortable, and since I work in a very hot and humid environment, the less I have on my head the better.  Keeping the hair as short as possible eliminates the need for a cap.

 

Although a cap can help a wig fit more securely, a quality, properly fitted unit should stay in place with no problem and still be comfortable to wear.  My primary wig was fitted to my head by the prosthetic department of the VA hospital, and is light weight, very breathable, and stays in place with no cap or adhesive.  As Kate said, fit is everything, and the construction is important as well.  

[Charlize]

I shave the old bowling ball and with out a wig i could easily fit into the look of a chemo patient.  It's just easier for me.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[DeeDee]

Interested to read this thread. Where I live is constantly windy - a normal day can see gusts between 20-40mph and the couple of times I went out just wearing the wig (I have no hair for it to clip in to and wearing the under cap just leaves a fishnet pattern on my scalp) it stayed in place perfectly, the trick was to adjust the band at the back of the neck. When I went out the wig stayed on and in place all day but the club in the evening after 12-14 hrs of wear was getting really hot.  So far all my wigs are cheap online types, but if I was wearing one all day every day then a wig shop would be a must. I follow a cis woman's blog and she is a huge advocate for wigs due to hair damage so it is not just a trans issue.

[ShawnaLeigh]

I have decided to not shave down to bald or even electric clipper lengths.  I am leaving a (for the time being) men's regular military hair cut underneath that I have always had since I was 18.  I may go to a pixie style in the future as I know there will be times, especially at home, where I will not be wearing my wigs.  Of maybe I want to do a ball cap look and hoodie one day.

Maybe in the distant future my MIA hair will decide to come out and play with prolonged HRT but I am forging ahead with the wig plans.

I think I may even make an appointment with my local wig shop and see what she has to say.  She is close friends with my therapist and he offered to arrange coffee with her to introduce me and just chat.

I love my therapist!!!  LOL

[Jackie C.]

Yeah, OK, your therapist is awesome. Props where props are due.

 

A pixie cut might work with your face. I'd need to see it. If only you had a professional who specializes in setting you up with a hairstyle that you could see immediately. Perhaps they'd have a shop of sorts with different styles built into... oh, I don't know, adjustable caps of varying sizes. If only such a person existed. ?

 

Have fun at your appointment. I know I always enjoy my visits.

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

Hi,  my best wig has had a tendency to slip up in the back, which is why I too as looking for a solution.  I had considered shaving my head completely, but instead I cut it short and shaved it higher on the back of my neck.  Then I went the entire day without it slipping at all.  So, for me my answer keeping my real hair trimmed and my neck shaved higher than normal

 

Willow

[Kate Carter]

I started up this week dying mine with Just for Men (we’ll see about that) gradual color shampoo to get some of the grey out gradually.  I’m going to hold out a little while longer... thinking of growing it all but cutting at the neck line until the rest catches up. For male presentation at work,  just slicking it back... but eventually an inverted bob might be possible with a topper piece and my natural hair together.  We’ll see... 50/50 chance I freak out after a bad hair day and shave it on the spot.  Today was a good hair day,  so I’m all hopeful temporarily. ?

[ShawnaLeigh]

I played around again with my wig yesterday afternoon and I find I like what I look like in it.  Less the 5 O:clock shadow I can see but makeup is a whole other ball of wax for me.  Then I take a picture to share my new wig with everyone and I look like crap.  I don't understand how this can be but it makes me very subconscious about wearing it out of my bedroom or bathroom. 

I feel I look exactly like my avatar picture just without the makeup magic of smoothing and youthful effects. The wig has sweeping bangs too that fall into my face and across my eyes at times but I like the playful look it gives me.   My wife has yet to see me in it as I am so shy about it all still.   

[Jackie C.]

Bangs make me insane, but if you like the look, go for it! This is all about making YOU comfortable.

 

Personally, I usually keep mine pinned back with a French-style barrette. Otherwise, I'll use hairpins to keep everything where it's supposed to be. 400 of the things costs like $10 on Amazon. Experiment, break a few, pick a lock, you've always got more.

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

I can’t say that I love bangs but they do help hide my big forehead.  If I had a longer wig I’d like to try a pulled back style but what I have it’s too short.

[Kate Carter]

15 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Then I take a picture to share my new wig with everyone and I look like crap.  I don't understand how this can be but it makes me very subconscious about wearing it out of my bedroom or bathroom.

I recommend avoiding the camera...  there’s a lot going against you with the camera...

First, none of us are comfortable seeing an image of ourselves that is not a mirror image.  You can flip the photo in editing to help overcome that. Second, the camera is not an eyeball... it translates a 3d object into 2d images and the distortion that occurs as a result (especially at selfie distances) can often be unflattering to some of your least favorite features. Taking your pictures through a mirror can help due to the longer distance to subject.  Finally, it’s also incredibly harsh with response to light,  so unless you are good at lighting,  you’re likely to be disappointed over and over again with the way light and shadow is highlighting features and textures on your face. 
 

I used to take pictures all the time and once in a blue moon,  I liked one.  Usually the best was a studio setup and lighting and shooting on a long focal length zoomed in (less distortion).  So laborious though,  but usually they were the best pictures of myself, male or female.  I just walked away from it,  because too often it left me a dysphoric mess.