My professional coming out continues.

[ShawnaLeigh]

53 minutes ago, Susan R said:

If your wife is showing less interest in you and your intimacy level has been greatly reduced since you started your transition, then it might be a tough road ahead.  Alternatively, if she does still respond to you in the same way despite you presenting female,  then maybe she’s just be saying she’s not attracted to you in the hopes that you have a change of heart about your transition

New Years Eve I was outright told our sex life was over for basically the same reasons I stated earlier.  We do not share a bed any longer and havent since last November and we have zero intimacy in our relationship.   We don’t even hug anymore.  (Which I could use every so often.)

However our friendship has blossomed though and we still enjoy spending time together but only as friends.  Which I am ok with as I have accepted that she will never truly accept me as Shawna her wife.  We are slowly fading apart as spouses and being in love.  Well she is.  I’m still very much in love with her but will not fight to save something she has already ended.      
Geesh it’s sad to reread that but there it is.  

[Jani]

Ok I understand your wife's point but it sounds like she is reverting back to an earlier version of your relationship when you were just friends.  That's how we all start out, right?  Many TG/Cis relationships are non-sexual and they survive.   Seeing how she is reacting as your friend, maybe a hug or two will be possible in the future.  Is it possible she see you are a partner or significant other?   This is how lasting relationships grow, slowly and with care.   

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, Jani said:

Many TG/Cis relationships are non-sexual and they survive.

This might be easier for older couples who have libidos that have tapered off considerably. @ShawnaLeigh You and your wife are in an earlier life stage so it may be a much more important part of your relationship.  I guess time will tell.

[ShawnaLeigh]

5 hours ago, Jani said:

Ok I understand your wife's point but it sounds like she is reverting back to an earlier version of your relationship when you were just friends.  That's how we all start out, right?  Many TG/Cis relationships are non-sexual and they survive.   Seeing how she is reacting as your friend, maybe a hug or two will be possible in the future.  Is it possible she see you are a partner or significant other?   This is how lasting relationships grow, slowly and with care.   

I too have considered this as what is truly happening between us and it’s why I still hold the tiniest of hopes.  Though our marriage did not sprout from a previous friendship.  We met on eHarmony.  Lol

3 hours ago, Susan R said:

This might be easier for older couples who have libidos that have tapered off considerably. @ShawnaLeigh You and your wife are in an earlier life stage so it may be a much more important part of your relationship.  I guess time will tell.

Yes I realize this too.  Though I’m in my 50s now and she is not far behind.  I’m not sure when sex normally becomes less important but I feel it’s now for me with the lack of useful equipment on either side of the gender spectrum.  
I also realize your greatest sex organ is your brain so there are “other” ways.  Lol

Which I am good at I’m told.  (blushing). 

[Susan R]

22 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I also realize your greatest sex organ is your brain so there are “other” ways.  Lol

My lady meds have seemingly made this even more important...we’ll, for me at least. Sometimes even a single thought can make all the difference.  I knew this was true for many if not most cis women but until about a year ago, I had no idea transitioning would change things so dramatically in a trans woman.

 

Susan R?

[ShawnaLeigh]

I ve always known that on some level but never thought I’d have to relay on my brain so much for this.  Lol

My lady meds have shut down the works down there.  I’m both happy and sad.  
I don’t know if I will ever have an “O” again. 

[Belle]

37 minutes ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I ve always known that on some level but never thought I’d have to relay on my brain so much for this.  Lol

My lady meds have shut down the works down there.  I’m both happy and sad.  
I don’t know if I will ever have an “O” again. 

You probably want to make sure your T is high enough. T blockers may not even be necessary, and can apparently even be harmful and prevent future breast growth if your levels get too low. This is according to a few sources including my doctor.

 

From what I understand the "O" just takes practice. I'm sure you will learn if you try. They are not the same as before. I have had different types even before discovering who I was.

 

Belle ❤

[ShawnaLeigh]

1 hour ago, Belle said:

You probably want to make sure your T is high enough. T blockers may not even be necessary, and can apparently even be harmful and prevent future breast growth if your levels get too low. This is according to a few sources including my doctor.

 

From what I understand the "O" just takes practice. I'm sure you will learn if you try. They are not the same as before. I have had different types even before discovering who I was.

 

Belle ❤

Well I have a T check this Monday so we will see.  Though I do not think I’m physically incapable but it’s more a mental component of I don’t care about it and it’s not a priority in my daily thinking.  Certainly not as it was when I was living fully male.  
Which again makes me very happy.  My issue also is I’m not in a relationship where sex can even happen nor does anyone want me in the regard.  That plays a big roll too.  

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Well I have a T check this Monday so we will see.  Though I do not think I’m physically incapable but it’s more a mental component of I don’t care about it and it’s not a priority in my daily thinking.  Certainly not as it was when I was living fully male.  
Which again makes me very happy.  My issue also is I’m not in a relationship where sex can even happen nor does anyone want me in the regard.  That plays a big roll too.  

 

I'm sure it's your mental game. I never had trouble crossing the finish line all the way down to .1 T. You'll get there. 

 

Hugs!