Jackie Goes For Bottom Surgery

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I miss naps.  I used to enjoy an afternoon nap, but then I had another child. @Jackie C., have a nap for me! 

[Jackie C.]

Let's talk about...

 

Diapers and Dripping

 

I haven't mentioned this much because it's gross, but I've been dripping like a piece of rare meat for two weeks now. It goes everywhere. I've got gunk soaked into my pads, and every time I stand up I get a certain amount running down my leg. Usually the right for some reason. That could just be my zombie walking stance. The point is that it goes everywhere. If anyone is considering this surgery and has white floors, carpets or pets consider putting plastic down over all of them. 

 

It probably wouldn't be as bad if I could bend. However, getting down on my knees to "mop up" is ill-advised at best. I can manage a sort of halfway bend where I pivot on my hip with the other leg extended and reach for something I've dropped, but scrubbing or wiping because I've dripped on something again is nearly impossible. This came up in the hotel. Susan was scrubbing away and I started to laugh. She gave me the look and I explained, "This is what 28 years of marriage gets us? I'm bleeding out and you're scrubbing away at the bathroom rug."

She shrugged and said, "Well, it's not our rug."

 

That brings us to diapers. These are the undergarments of discomfort. While they catch my meat juice, the only piece of clothing I own that's more uncomfortable are my party shoes. Those at least look pretty.

 

Diapers pinch, poke and rub literally everywhere that I wish they wouldn't while managing to be baggy and uncomfortable in between. In addition, they lock in all the moisture, which includes my night sweats. We won't even talk about what's happening to the skin on my backside. It's speculation anyway, I'm both afraid and unable to look without a mirror. I'm guessing giant zits though.

 

So yeah, part of the recovery process. Take a walk on the gross side.

 

Hugs!

[Jackie C.]

I should also mention that the pain isn't bad. I can sleep pretty easily so long as I stay on my back. I can manage my side for short bursts, but flat on my back is most comfortable at this stage of healing.

 

I still have most of my pain pills, but taking one usually means starting off into space for two hours and eating a bag of something. So far that's been mandarin oranges and a bag of gluten free sesame-seed pretzels with peanut butter straight out of the jar.

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

40 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

Let's talk about...

 

Diapers and Dripping

 

I haven't mentioned this much because it's gross, but I've been dripping like a piece of rare meat for two weeks now. It goes everywhere. I've got gunk soaked into my pads, and every time I stand up I get a certain amount running down my leg. Usually the right for some reason. That could just be my zombie walking stance. The point is that it goes everywhere. If anyone is considering this surgery and has white floors, carpets or pets consider putting plastic down over all of them. 

 

It probably wouldn't be as bad if I could bend. However, getting down on my knees to "mop up" is ill-advised at best. I can manage a sort of halfway bend where I pivot on my hip with the other leg extended and reach for something I've dropped, but scrubbing or wiping because I've dripped on something again is nearly impossible. This came up in the hotel. Susan was scrubbing away and I started to laugh. She gave me the look and I explained, "This is what 28 years of marriage gets us? I'm bleeding out and you're scrubbing away at the bathroom rug."

She shrugged and said, "Well, it's not our rug."

 

That brings us to diapers. These are the undergarments of discomfort. While they catch my meat juice, the only piece of clothing I own that's more uncomfortable are my party shoes. Those at least look pretty.

 

Diapers pinch, poke and rub literally everywhere that I wish they wouldn't while managing to be baggy and uncomfortable in between. In addition, they lock in all the moisture, which includes my night sweats. We won't even talk about what's happening to the skin on my backside. It's speculation anyway, I'm both afraid and unable to look without a mirror. I'm guessing giant zits though.

 

So yeah, part of the recovery process. Take a walk on the gross side.

 

Hugs!

You do have a way with imagery I must say.

I'm still not scared to go for this though for me it could be years from now.  

Then again I thought that about an Orchi and now mine is scheduled for Apr 13.  

As gross as this all sounds it is still invaluable to read about and get a complete understanding of the things that not many others dare to talk about.  You just are not told these things at all but knowing its all part of it makes one feel more prepared.  I do anyways.

In this I thank you my friend.

 

 

[Jani]

Hey!  This is the part you were never told when you signed up for surgery.  Keep smiling, this too will pass!

[Jackie C.]

That was kind of my point. Nobody told ME, but I can tell other people.

 

I've just never been happier for having hardwood floors and tile in the entirety of the upstairs. Probably need to wash the bathroom rug again though.

 

Hugs!

[ShawnaLeigh]

Jackie.  Your wife is a saint too btw.  Just saying.

 

[Jackie C.]

Yeah, I sent her pictures on Tuesday. She thinks everything looks great and I'm healing really well.

 

Hugs!

[Susan R]

10 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

That was kind of my point. Nobody told ME, but I can tell other people.

Jackie, thank you for taking the time to update us so vividly and regularly too.  It’s will help when the time comes around for me. I’ll know better what to expect and maybe to expect a little of the unexpected.  It’s sounds very much like a “one day at a time” scenario.  The good news is that everything should start improving a little bit every day.

As ShawnaLeigh pointed out, your wife is a treasure...don’t ever lose her.

 

Susan R?

[michelle_kitten]

I've really been out of the loop, so did not get the chance to say 'congrats', dear!  So excited for you.

 

[Robin68]

On 2/19/2020 at 1:50 PM, Jackie C. said:

Yeah, I sent her pictures on Tuesday. She thinks everything looks great and I'm healing really well.

 

Great news! I'm so happy you are getting better, dear! ❤️ I am sending you my love and good vibes, hoping each day it gets a little easier!! ?? 

[Laura76]

JackieC,

 

I agree with what ShawnaLeigh said. As gross as we or others may think about the graphic descriptions of after surgery challenges, I would rather hear as much details as possible, even with the humorous comments and analogy's.  The information and experience are invaluable. Specially so when my surgery is coming up in April.

[Jackie C.]

Congratulations! I hope to be able to sit by then!

 

Seriously though, despite a truly horrifying color palette... I may have sent a picture to my surgeon again, I'd hate to think I have a zombie vagina... there's less discharge today. I may be on track for a four-week recovery. 

 

Hugs!

[Belle]

3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Seriously though, despite a truly horrifying color palette... I may have sent a picture to my surgeon again, I'd hate to think I have a zombie vagina...

Oh my gosh I really hope that doesn't happen! I'm glad you're keeping us posted Jackie!

 

Belle ❤

[ShawnaLeigh]

Four week recovery?   I would of guessed longer for a surgery this aggressive.  This seems like good news to me!

Keep strong Jackie and keep posting.  
Love ya!❤️

[Jackie C.]

Four to six weeks is the projected recovery time. After that, I can go back to the gym. Right now I'm trying to figure out how much of my discomfort is the swelling and how much is this stupid diaper. 

 

Hugs!

[Jani]

By now you should be healed enough to be able to apply a lotion (like A&D Ointment) to the area where the pad chafes.  It doesn't take much to make a difference.  

[Ellora]

On 2/21/2020 at 3:43 PM, Laura76 said:

JackieC,

 

I agree with what ShawnaLeigh said. As gross as we or others may think about the graphic descriptions of after surgery challenges, I would rather hear as much details as possible, even with the humorous comments and analogy's.  The information and experience are invaluable. Specially so when my surgery is coming up in April.

Precisely! To hear it, read it, is invaluable. Thank you sooooo much @Jackie C. for front row center, and yes, your humor is so choice!

[Jackie C.]

Three Weeks of Healing

 

Well here we are at the three week mark. I've been dilating for two of those weeks and almost have the hang of it. Almost.

 

Surgical Site. It feels stiff and a little tight. I can feel where all the stitch work is and it limits my movements at least as much as the swelling. I'd say I have about half the range of motion that I did before surgery.

Before anybody panics, I've sent regular pictures to my surgeon. She says this is normal healing. I'd give you a picture, but site policy. Even though there is NOTHING sexy about what's going on down there. Seriously, we're talking "Turn Hugh Hefner Gay" levels of gross. I'll do my best to describe it for you. You've been warned.

So yeah, the surgical site looks like someone tried to sculpt the Sarlacc Pit Play Set out of expired stew meat. The color palette is basically the freezer at McDonalds after a week-long blackout. It's runny, a weird calico of grays and too-pale whites, and there's stitches everywhere. Put a couple of bolts on it and Doctor Frankenstein would try to shock it into unholy life. Again, my surgeon looks at this and says, "Yeah, healing normally." Healing normally is a horror show.

 

Urination. Slightly to the right. That could just be the way I'm sitting though. My bathroom isn't very large so I'm a little skewed to the right. I can't sit comfortably with my legs closed yet so I need to rotate a little away from the window. I will say that the tall toilet in the upstairs bathroom is a lifesaver. It's much easier to get on and off of when you can't bend so well in the middle. The point being that I seem to have avoided the "yes, it goes everywhere" stage of recovery.

 

Pain. Yes. There's not a lot of pain, but it's present and it keeps me from doing things. Mostly things that involve sitting down in a chair like a normal person. That's still pretty uncomfortable.It doesn't affect my sleeping though. I still have most of the pain medication the hospital sent me home with.

 

Sleeping. More than I'd like, but my body needs to heal. The pain doesn't bother me enough to keep me awake. I can sleep on my left side, back and stomach (modified, I sleep kind of 3/4ths on my stomach). Right side hurts for some reason. It could be the way my bed sort of caves towards the middle. I take naps when I'm able. All the better for letting my body repair itself. Also, daytime TV sucks.

 

Sitting. I can tolerate sitting in what I'm going to call my princess chair for about an hour. My chair currently is riding as low as it will go and I've augmented the cushion with a pillow and two folded down blankets. I can also sit on the apathy couch or my memory foam mattress. In both cases, it's more comfortable if my feet and legs are elevated. I tolerated a half-hour car ride twice yesterday. It was uncomfortable, but not painful. Seats belong to a 1992 Saturn SL1 with a fluffy seat cover.

I love that car. At this point, I'm pretty sure she loves me back.

 

Adult Undergarments. I'm going through about four of these a day. I make my own gravy apparently. A thing I did not realize when buying these originally is that there is some overlap in the sizes. A large and a medium can cover the same waist sizes. This was huge for me as the larger size presumed I was wider in the crotch area than I am so it bunched and pushed against my thighs more. The smaller size is much more comfortable. I won't say that it actually is comfortable. I hate these things with a passion, but it's less awful than the larger size.

 

Discharge. Is actually on the decline. While I'm still making a terrible meat-juice mess out of my diapers, the spotting on my changing pad while I'm dilating is much reduced. I've gone from a softball sized puddle of gore to a couple of splashes and maybe a little puddle if I went overboard on the lube.

 

Dilation. My least favorite part of the experience. I can handle the first two dilators pretty easily. The last one is a struggle. To manage without pain, I need to be in exactly the right position and sometimes this takes a little wrangling to find. While technically, the whole operation is supposed to take about 20 minutes. I find that it's closer to 45 once you factor in clean-up, preparation and writhing around until you find the one position where you don't feel like you're getting split in half.

 

Swelling. I'm still pretty swollen in the surgical area. It's better than it was, but it still looks like I'm smuggling a cantaloupe. The skin is a little less taut than it was. I'm hoping I can head back to the gym next week but it's going to depend on the adult undergarments. It seems rude to share the machines while I'm in diapers.

 

Diet. I'm giving my body whatever it wants. Lots of protein plus whatever I have a craving for. It needs to put itself back together and I'm working to make sure it's got all the building supplies. Yesterday was pocky and spiced pork jerky. I'm trying to stay away from the sugars as much as I can to avoid yeast infections (my diapers smell like sour dough) but there's only so much that can be done.

 

So yeah, that's about where I sit on my recovery. I'm hoping things speed up soon. I'd kind of like to get out of the house.

 

Hugs!

 

[Belle]

?

[Jackie C.]

Addendum - Bodily Functions

 

There are a couple of things I've discovered while dilating that I would have liked to have been more ready for. Why dilating? I'm spending about four hours a day dealing with post operative care. I'm sleeping for another twelve or so. This is taking up a lot of my life for another two weeks. ?

Then of course I can drop down to three times a day for two months. Then twice a day for the next three. For right now though... dilation is dominating my life.

 

Coughing. False alarm. I've been terrified to cough and have, so far, avoided it while doing my daily chores.

 

Passing Gas. This one is weird. I'm laying there, minding my own business, and gas moves through my bowels. Suddenly, my dilator becomes possessed and starts writhing around in my hand like some sort of demented crayon. I'm afraid to focus too much on what it might be saying. It's either words of encouragement or the secrets of the netherworld. Probably the last one.

Uncomfortable, but not too bad. Still, an incredibly weird feeling.

 

Sneezing. Last night I sneezed while trying to keep the largest of the dilators lodged in my undercarriage. I won't say that it might have shot across the room had I not been ready to catch it. I will say that it probably would have cleared the edge of the bed.

 

As a bonus, I discovered something mew Susan is uncomfortable with. Washing my dilators makes her turn beet red and cover her face if something is available. I talked to her about it and she's not ready to see me scrub them clean. For some reason she finds it embarrassing. So she can lay next to me while I'm actually dilating, but rubbing them clean is where she draws the line.

Personally, after going through with the surgery, nothing embarrasses me any more. I seem to have become bulletproof. I offered to send a friend pictures of the surgical site before I remembered that it was both intimate and gross. Still, it's finally starting to feel real. Thinking about it in the shower this morning, made me smile. It happened. It's real. I'm complete.

 

At least I will be in about a year when I'm done healing. I'll probably feel more complete when I can sit up comfortably too.

 

Hugs!

[Susan R]

Thanks for these recent updates, Jackie.  Things seem to be progressing nicely for you and what a blessing to have someone like Susan there to assist. She sounds like a gem.

 

I have two related questions after reading your recent posts.

 

1) Are you able to walk or exercise in any way besides taking a few steps?

 

2) I see you’re  pretty much eating whatever...whenever so if you've been able to weigh yourself and has your weight changed much at all?

 

I’m very active and I realize I might be bedridden for a long time when my time comes. I’m curious as to how this surgery might affect my overall health and weight at that time.

 

Susan R?

[ShawnaLeigh]

Informative and in the special Jackie way!

I look forward to all your updates as they both help me learn and entertain at the same time.  You crack me up every day girl.  I love you for it.  

Not that I wish you hard times or the like but keep it coming.

[Jackie C.]

Hey Susan! I'm pretty mobile, but I can't bend well in the middle just yet. That's probably the stitches. It still feels pretty tight in front and there's still swelling. I'm hoping to be able to get back to the gym in a week or two. I might be going easy on my abs for once though. At least in the beginning. Right now my main obstacle is not being able to sit properly.

The things I'm not supposed to be doing are legion. I've been pushing that limit pretty hard. My only real concern is that if I feel strain in my stitches, I back off. Unfortunately most motion flows from the pelvis so you need to be careful. I do not need to feel anything tearing down below. 

 

I'm afraid to check my weight. It's probably up a little, but healing eats calories too, so who knows. We were supposed to check at my allergist appointment last week, but we sort of forgot. We don't own a scale. I usually keep my weigh-ins to one a month so I don't obsess.

My diet has been fair though. High protein for the most part... but I have this wicked craving for stuffed French toast this afternoon...

 

Hugs!

[Jackie C.]

Woah! Hormones Are Back. I Think They Have A Knife.

 

After about a week and a half, my HRT is taking hold again. Unlike the first time when they breezed in like Marry Poppins to brighten my day, this time they kicked in the door, put their boots up on my coffee table and had me make them a sandwich. I was super hormonal yesterday. I only realized what was happening this afternoon. It was sudden and it was brutal.

 

It was a lot like cranking the knob on your stereo from 2 to 11 and breaking it off. Suddenly, and I mean suddenly, everything was overwhelming. The tiniest criticism had me looking to curl up in a corner and cry. Just. Wow. All those girl emotions that English doesn't have words for came rushing back, punched me in the throat, then kicked me for a while. It's probably going to be a week or two for me to level out again. Goddess, please only let it be a week or two.

 

Hugs!