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Jackie C.

Jackie Goes For Bottom Surgery

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Susan R
5 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

The night sweats are somewhere around "Monsoon" levels. I'm a little surprised I didn't float out of bed. Four more days until I can start my precious HRT again.

LOL, you crack me up. As for the HRT regimen..four days will be here before you know it.  Keep up those good spirits, Jackie.  We’re all counting on your next funny update!

 

My Best,

Susan R🌷

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Jani
9 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

The pillow is a good idea though. It should take some pressure off my nethers. Between your thighs, knees or calves? I'm guessing thighs. That seems to be where the most swelling is.

I folded one in half (double thickness) and placed it between my thighs, but not touching anything that's healing.

 

It seems like you're suffering from lack of estrogen.  Be careful when restarting your dosage.
 

Hugs, Jani 

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TammyAnne

Jackie, you know those "dog bone" shaped pillows? They're good for between knees/legs.

TA

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Laura76

Hi TamyAnne, like your suggestion of those "dog bone" shape pillows. I will pick one up. I've been using a body pillow but it's too big to fold, manipulate to where it feels comfortable, or when I attempt to use it under the covers.

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Jackie C.

I wadded up one of the memory foam pillows last night. It was working until I got a visit from the sweat fairy. Then everything was gross again. I really cannot wait for the swelling to go down a bit south of the border. My below the belly region is HUGE.

 

Hugs!

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VickySGV
2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I really cannot wait for the swelling to go down a bit south of the border. My below the belly region is HUGE.

 

 

You are right on schedule from what you are saying there.  Another couple of weeks and you will see a substantial change. Really things are getting better much faster than it seems.  

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Jackie C.
13 hours ago, VickySGV said:

 

You are right on schedule from what you are saying there.  Another couple of weeks and you will see a substantial change. Really things are getting better much faster than it seems.  

 

Yeah, 4-8 weeks. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so uncomfortable. Fortunately, I have the Apathy Couch for sitting. It's basically a shapeless cushion with a frame underneath. Very good for taking naps you didn't plan. 

 

Hugs!

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Jani

Things will start to accelerate soon and before you know it you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.  

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Michelle F

Hi Jackie!

 

I have been keenly watching your progress because I'm a couple months behind you and your words are providing invaluable info. Your candid ways are a benefit to us all.

 

My question is about bathing and sitz bath.

 

Is a full sized tub is necessary or can I use the sitz bath concept.

 

You see, we don't have a tub. Stand-up shower only. Nice shower, however (comma)...

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Jackie C.

Currently sitting on my waffle pillow on top of my donut. While not terrible, I don't think I'll be able to tolerate it for more than an hour or so at a stretch. Better than nothing though.

 

I'm not allowed to submerge until something like week 6, so I've been showering and sitting on the side of the tub for douching. Speaking of...

 

Part Six: The <water balloon>

 

The wild <water balloon> is of epidemic populations in North America. Even so, Saturday was my first intimate encounter with a <water balloon>. Doctor Rumer had sent me home with my very first. When I got home, I'd ordered more but they're not going to be here until next Friday. That doesn't really help with "Saturday and every other day this week." Not knowing what to expect, I took one of my pain pills. Just in case. Mostly because one of the reviews for this product said, "It stings." My nethers sting enough thank you, so pain drugs.

 

My morning routine for Saturday went down like this -- Dilation, <water balloon>, Shower, Dilation because it was close enough to noon by the time I'd finished that I just powered through.

 

When extended, the <water balloon> nozzle was remarkably long. I hadn't expected that. It went in no problem. It's hard to get all the product out of the bulb though, that took a couple of attempts. I flushed out about ten gallons of blood. Seriously, it was like the elevator scene from the Shining.

 

It occurs to me that this experience has had a lot of the hallmarks of a crash course in female biology. I've been bloated, lain low by abdominal cramps, and now copious bleeding from my new sexual organ (and it is copious, there's about a softball-size puddle on my pad after every dilation). I've already enjoyed hot and cold flashes (I was hoping Ray made those up) and the sort if night sweats that has your partner make you sleep on the couch.

I've also learned to put a negative value on, "It'll be easier if you just lay back and try to relax." The next person who says that to me gets punched.

 

Moving on, there are a couple of questions I wish I had asked when I had the opportunity. No matter how much research you do, this is an entirely new experience. You are so far out of your depth that you can't even know the things you don't know. The biggest thing I don't know about it lube. I have something like 64 oz of the stuff next to the bed, but I'm still getting the hang of it.

 

The first question I wish I'd asked is, "What's the best way to get one of these lubed up and ready to go?" There has to be a better technique than the one I'm using. Airbrushing maybe? Some kind of dip? I end up basically finger painting with the stuff until I'm comfortable with the amount of product I see on my dilator. I am more comfortable with a thicker layer on the biggest one. I'm still expecting to be able to shake it and hear it say, "Hulk smash!" It has to be a joke.

 

The second question is, "How much should I use?" This one sparks deep, existential fear in me. If there's a set amount one should use, that means there are also amounts that are "not enough" which I can deal with and "too much" which I refuse to process. While I don't want to use more than I need for reasons of financial responsibility, I find a good, thick layer of the stuff comforting. Enough so it looks like I dipped it in banana syrup. I'm probably using too much. I'm going to try and move past it.

 

Tomorrow is the first day I have to drive myself somewhere. Fortunately, it's not far. We'll see how things go.

 

Hugs!

 

 

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The Viv Element

This is making me lose strength in my feet and hands!😬 You're so strong for going through this, I've prayed to my pagan gods for a quick recovery Jackie! Good luck tomorrow!

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ShawnaLeigh

Although I find the thing one must do during and after this I am just as fascinated to learn.  Your a pioneer for me in this.  Being humorous does cover up your discomfort and I am sorry it’s not easy. I’m sure it’s well worth it. 
Thank you for being who you are. And keep up the great research and commentary.  
I too will pray to mine.  
Love ya❤️

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DeeDee

Having no other useful perspective to offer other than conversations I have been around women having. There is no such thing as too much lube (unless it gets so slippy you can't physically hold it any more.) 😲  You are amazing for sharing your experience Jackie.

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Susan R
4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

No matter how much research you do, this is an entirely new experience. You are so far out of your depth that you can't even know the things you don't know.

I can imagine (to a limited degree) how different everything in this experience must be. You became a completely different person physically below the waist in a matter of hours.  All the change must feel overwhelming at times. I’m hoping you have someone close by that you can call or text to ask, “Is this normal when <insert event here> happens?”
 

You’ve been giving us all great updates at a detail most physicians would appreciate.  I have to imagine though that no two recoveries are quite the same.

 

Thank again, Jackie for your wonderful updates,

Susan R🌷

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Robin68
7 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

It occurs to me that this experience has had a lot of the hallmarks of a crash course in female biology. I've been bloated, lain low by abdominal cramps, and now copious bleeding from my new sexual organ (and it is copious, there's about a softball-size puddle on my pad after every dilation). I've already enjoyed hot and cold flashes (I was hoping Ray made those up) and the sort if night sweats that has your partner make you sleep on the couch.

This is clearly a heavy price. I wonder how you feel about fast-forwarding into "female problems." Were you prepared for this? Do you have any second thoughts? As biological creatures, one of our striking differences from inanimate matter is that we are dynamic. We grow and at the same time shed the dead parts of ourselves. I could get really philosophical about this but I will spare you. It seems to me, the power of your narrative in this thread is that it is a chronical of your transformation from more male to more female. This is quiet literally expressed by the surgery itself but it also appears to be registered in emergent patterns of your consciousness. In this way, it is metaphoric of your new blossoming being. Like a plant, you are experiencing new growth that you never knew before. That is why I think what you are doing is so courageous.  

 

Hugs,

 

Robin

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Jackie C.
12 hours ago, Susan R said:

You’ve been giving us all great updates at a detail most physicians would appreciate.  I have to imagine though that no two recoveries are quite the same.

 

Absolutely. For example, I think I've managed to acquire a bladder infection so I'll be sending pictures to my doctor later this morning along with my observations about my recovery. 

 

On the plus side, I don't usually see side-effects from antibiotics. 

 

Hugs!

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Jackie C.

Interlude: Supplies They DON'T Tell You About

 

The most important one for me was a mirror. I bought an indestructible mirror with a wide handle, easy to grip and durable you could drop it down a flight of stairs. Awesome, right? Wrong. It was, well, not useless, but not as useful as you would think.

 

The SECOND mirror I bought was a lighted makeup mirror. I hadn't realized that the quality of light in my bedroom was quite that bad. While the durable mirror is great for general aiming and maneuvers, if you want to take a good, solid look and actually SEE anything, you want the lights. Especially important while you try to figure out how many dots you've got crammed into your new anatomy. With the durable mirror, I couldn't really tell at all.

 

Hugs!

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TammyAnne
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Interlude: Supplies They DON'T Tell You About

 

The most important one for me was a mirror. I bought an indestructible mirror with a wide handle, easy to grip and durable you could drop it down a flight of stairs. Awesome, right? Wrong. It was, well, not useless, but not as useful as you would think.

 

The SECOND mirror I bought was a lighted makeup mirror. I hadn't realized that the quality of light in my bedroom was quite that bad. While the durable mirror is great for general aiming and maneuvers, if you want to take a good, solid look and actually SEE anything, you want the lights. Especially important while you try to figure out how many dots you've got crammed into your new anatomy. With the durable mirror, I couldn't really tell at all.

 

Hugs!

Thanks for sharing that. It got me giggling!

I understand about the light, says the person with ten large floodlights in her studio pushing the LED equivalent of 1500 watts of 6000°K light.

TA

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Laura76

JackieC,

 

As we follow your progress, I want you to know I think you are becoming a "rock star" for sharing your experiences, and thoughts for those of us following you. When I see a post from you I am always curious to read what you wrote. Keep those perils of wisdom coming:)

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Jackie C.

Tragically, not a lot happened today. I needed to get the sink fixed (I was pathetic, I couldn't even bend over to see what was leaking). After the plumber left, I went upstairs to dilate. Once I was done with that, I said to myself, "You know, you don't have anything else to do for four hours."

 

I found that insight brilliant and immediately turned the electric blanket to "broast" and took a four hour nap. I woke up just in time to dilate again.

 

Sleeping is good. I should do more of it.

 

Hugs!

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Jani

Good for you!

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Susan R
4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Sleeping is good. I should do more of it.

Jackie, while recovering, you deserve lots of sleep. I’m sure your doctor would agree.  It takes a lot out of you when you’re healing. Are you able to get some good quality deep sleep or is the pain interrupting it when you reset your position?

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ShawnaLeigh
12 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I found that insight brilliant and immediately turned the electric blanket to "broast" and took a four hour nap.

OMG I am starting to really appreciate "the nap".  I never did as a guy.  Always had to be go-go-go.  Though my new diet with a reduced calorie intake and my nutritionists advice to not work out "as hard" has me keeping my activity to a low roar.

I still do stuff I'm probably not suppose to.

Old stubborn "guy" habits are hard to break!  LOL

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ShawnaLeigh

(Don't you just hate it when you hit Submit before you mean to)

 

Anyways, I am glad to hear you are taking steps to get better quicker.  Sleep is a biggy Jackie.  Even if you just fade in and out its way better then just staying awake and busy for prolonged time periods.  Take it from a person who worked 12 hour 3rd shifts for over 30 years. 

Lack of sleep sucks and is dangerous.

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SaraAW

I agree with the others, sleep is important for recovery. It is my go to, whenever I’m unwell or recovering. I figure, why not power down the main systems and let the body and mind use all the energy on repair. Has the added benefit of not being aware of how awful you feel. 
 

A warm, weighted electric blanket knocks me out in minutes. I do prefer a good simmer over a broader though. 
 

I hope your healing continues well and quickly Jackie. 

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