Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Post-Op Encounters: Public, Legal, & Medical


DesiB

Recommended Posts

Who decides anyone's identity?"  It always feels best to me when I am not the one actively declaring my identity--instead, it is those who meet or interact with me who automatically identify me as just another woman.  There are two types of encounters that generally complicate this new norm I've been happy to have experienced with the general public for nearly a decade.  These encounters have to do with the legal system and the medical system. 

 

Legal System:

I can best summarize these encounters by inserting a letter I recently sent to the ACLU of Ohio:

 

"I was always so thankful when it became possible to change the sex marker on an Ohio drivers license.  However, I have had years of bad experiences because of the fact that my old information apparently still pops up instantly for anyone with access to my driving record.

 

I first realized this when trying to sell a trailer with a years old license that I had never renewed.  As I told the clerk at the BMV that it might still be under a different name, she said she already saw it.  This instance made me aware, but caused no harm.

 

A couple years later, I tried to fight a speeding ticket in court (Xenia, OH) and the judge did not just pull up my record for the previous 3 years--he cited my driving history from over a decade prior!  Of course that should have been irrelevant to the case being heard at the time.  But he not only found me guilty of the original speeding charge, he also added an additional charge of wreckless driving!

 

An even more blatant case of injustice occurred when I was a victim of road rage and was being chased by a truck that had already sideswiped my car.  I was on the phone with police trying to get them to meet me so I wouldn't have to stop and be confronted by the madman.  We finally met in a Kroger parking lot and they had me sit and write out a report of what happened as they went back to talk to the crazy man in the truck.  Incredibly, I saw them left him leave before I was even finished writing!  They commented that the damage to my car looked like something from Mad Max, but still filed no charges against the man in the truck!  When I asked if they would be able to at least keep my personal information out of the other drivers hands, they said I had a CCW, as if I was supposed to use my own gun to protect myself if the guy showed up at my house!

 

A week later, I was in Indiana to see a lawyer about gaining guardianship of my mother so I could have her move in with me and take care of her, my brother's wife grabbed my phone right out of my hand, went out and threw it at a passing pick up truck, then called the police on me after her and two men tried to surround my car and prevent me from leaving!  Instead of driving back home, I tried to find the local police station and ended up flagging down an officer.  In the mean time, my sister-in-law had told the police that I was scaring my mother by being "cross dressed" in front of her since I was really a man!  I was arrested with my legal handgun in my waistband, then I spent most of the night in solitary confinement after being interrogated about whether I was "transformed" into a woman!

 

I was also fired on the spot in the middle of a week long substitute teaching job, after the principal had my license plate ran to find out who the car belonged to where I was parked.  This same principal, at Waynesville High School, was a known homophobe whose next position was strongly opposed by GLSEN and other organizations.  So while I can't prove his motivations, there is no doubt what triggered my instant firing after he ran my plates.

 

At my current job, I was called to move my car in the parking lots so they could have spots open for an event.  Of course this leaves me feeling totally 'outed' even at my newest place of employment.

 

And most recently, after more than 3 years of harassment from my newest neighbor, I requested all the police reports concerning issues with that neighbor and the latest one list both my legal name and my dead name in the same report!  

 

So is it really necessary for that old information to instantly pop up with a check of my drivers license or licence plates even all these years later?  Will it be this way for the rest of my life?  If so, I will always have good reason to be leary of bigoted police officers or anyone else who has access to my driving records?

 

Desi B"

 

 

Medical System:

I understand and do not disagree with the arguments that it would be best to be able to be totally open during all medical encounters whenever medical history comes up.  And in the beginning, that is what I tried.  But it led to my primary care physician refusing to do a prostate exam and eventually informing me that she could no longer accept me as a patient because I needed a specialist (which did not even exist anywhere nearby).  Being open about my complete medical history just led to confusion when another doctor at the VA sent me for a DEXA scan and included the non-medical term "transgender" in the order.  The lab tech was just totally confused about whether I had already transitioned to female or if I was female getting ready to transition to male . . . It did not help at all.  So they ran the test with both sets of ranges (male and female).  Did it make a difference?  No.  I was within normal ranges on both scales.  So I just decided not to bring it up any more unless I could think of a reason why it would matter.  Since then I've had several medical encounters and have been treated perfectly well as a post-menopausal woman with a complete hysterectomy.  I've had kidney stones and the results of my first abdominal scan reported "evidence of hysterectomy."  So I just went with it and had no problems for many years to follow. 

 

I've had my gall bladder removed, colonoscopy & endoscopy, lumpectomy in right breast, ureteral stents, etc.  Not once was there ever any trouble with placing a catheter.  Then recently, I had a recurrence of issues from Degenerative Disc Disease (DDD).  I ended up going in for another c-spine surgery and went back to the same surgeon who had performed my previous c-spine surgery pre-transition.  From all my past experiences with surgeries, I knew that I could go pick up a copy of the surgery report.  Between that and the person who drove me to the hospital and waited for me, I learned that there was a delay of over two whole hours for the following reason: 

 

"History is also significant for gender reassignment surgery which caused OR delays for foley placement by urology. . . . Urology consult was called and foley was placed by Dr. W**** due to difficult anatomy s/p gender reassignment surgery."

 

Wow!  So today I had my first follow up visit and took in the following note I had typed up:

 

"Placing a catheter is not a difficult task.  You don't even have to be a registered school nurse to do it (let alone a Medical Doctor).  Many parents do it for their own children with special-needs.  Many adults perform self-catheterization.  And I know that my anatomy has never caused delays or difficulty in any of these recent procedures listed below.  Nothing in my anatomy is out of place or in any way deformed so as to create complications with inserting foley catheters into my urethra.  I have been told that my urethra is larger than average, but this actually makes it easier to access--not more difficult.  If anyone on 1/21/20 claimed to have had any difficulty inserting a catheter after I was unconscious, such difficulty must reflect either a professional incompetence or a personal bigotry."  

 

The nurse practitioner replied that they would certainly have to do a better job on that issue in the future.  So we'll see.  I just find it so disturbing that for the rest of my life it will be my job to educate any medical personnel I encounter--either that or just go to providers who don't know my complete history and therefore have no reason for being confused about how to treat me.

Link to comment

Wow you really have had a pile of crap dumped on you by both organizational institutions.  I am truly sorry you experienced any of that.  It sounded horrible.  

I feel luck to live in a state that is very trans friendly and has many protective laws for LBGTQ+++ folks.  

I have had zero issues but I am still early in my transition and my only issue is being mis-gendered.  Which I have been impressed by all the medical professionals I see as they do not miss this part at all once they know your preference.  One nurse called me sir once and turned with a shocked look on her face like she stabbed me accidentally.  I told her it was ok but she felt terrible.  

I still have many of these hardships ahead I am sure.  I knew I was getting into a difficult life when I decided to stop hiding and be myself but the things you have gone through is just wrong.

One would think that since you legally change your identity and all legal documents that your dead name and previous gender identity would be a thing of the past if your information is ever needed by any professionals.  Apparently not.

But I suppose its not a perfect world either.  Not that its an excuse but it is reality.

Link to comment

I'm sorry that did sound like a huge dump all at once.  And it truly is always lurking in the background.  But the vast majority of face to face encounters I have with people are actually quite nice.  That's what I hold onto and it sustains me.  Negativity can be infectious, but so can positivity. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 93 Guests (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...