Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Another step taken!


MetaLicious

Recommended Posts

I came out to my wife on the winter solstice, and to the rest of my immediate family over the next seversl weeks. In January, I started the long (and somewhat expensive) process of switching out my wardrobe. It's been challenging and fun to discover what my style is.  "Playing with my gender" has provided me with a greater sense of certainty that transitioning is right for me.  The next step was to get in touch with a therapist.

 

Then my stepmom had a stroke.  She needs to have someone around to assist her 24/7.  Her house is in the suburbs, far from, well, everything.  So mom's going to be moving in with us, which forced us to give 30-day notice to our tenant, who is also my best friend.  Suddenly I have been cut off from my entire network of meatspace friends.

 

It's a bummer, but I'm not bummed. After playing with names for a while, I realized I didn't need to choose a name - I already had one: Michelle. It's the one I use when I get exasperated with myself.  It's what leaves my mouth without any conscious effort on my part.  The only reason I considered alternative name was because ai would be sharing the name with my cousin.  But not really!  Her nickname is Shelly, and I'm not a Shelly...  I went ahead a created a new Google account with my new name.  It feels so official!

 

Also, despite the chaos in our lives, I made that therapist appointment.  I had done my research, and contacted him, and he worked with me to figure out a date that we both can be available. It's on, baby!  Just over a week to go.

 

I cannot begin to describe how incredible it feels to recieve emails addressed to Michelle...

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
46 minutes ago, MetaLicious said:

I cannot begin to describe how incredible it feels to recieve emails addressed to Michelle...

Interestingly enough, I had the same experience when sending out emails to everyone and giving them my new email addy.  There definitely seems to be something “official” feeling about it.

 

I’m sorry to read about the stroke and your stepmother.  That’s hard no matter when this happens in ones life.

 

Good for you for the latest transitional changes in your life.  I think you’ll be even happier as things get settled a bit more with your stepmother and all. She’s lucky to have someone like you in her life.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment
38 minutes ago, Susan R said:

Interestingly enough, I had the same experience when sending out emails to everyone and giving them my new email addy.  There definitely seems to be something “official” feeling about it.

 

I’m sorry to read about the stroke and your mother.  That’s hard no matter when this happens in ones life.

 

Good for you for the latest transitional changes in your life.  I think you’ll be even happier as things get settled a bit more with your mother and all.  She’s lucky to have someone like you in her life.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Thank you so much!  We're already growing closer - she said that I seem to be in a better place, and I certainly agree with her.  Self-denial is decidedly not a good place to be.  Yesterday, I realized the degree of her acceptance was pretty deep. I was assisting her to the bathroom, and she didn't bother waiting for me to leave before commencing to take care of business.  At that moment I felt like I was being treated like "just one of the girls".  I'm pretty lucky myself!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, MetaLicious said:

I was assisting her to the bathroom, and she didn't bother waiting for me to leave before commencing to take care of business.  At that moment I felt like I was being treated like "just one of the girls".  I'm pretty lucky myself!

Yes, isn’t it a great feeling?  Earlier in my life, I had always wanted to fit in as a woman with my girlfriends but it just wasn’t meant to be.  But I’m getting a glimpse of what it’s like now.

I was at the gym doing some inner thigh stretches among other things before starting my workout.  The lady next to me started a conversation about how the exercise I was doing was one of her favorites during pregnancy. She started discussing things I would’ve never thought a woman would ever mention to a man...especially at a gym.  I realized that she and I were having one of “those conversations“ that men never hear, at least firsthand.  It was a wonderful moment for me.  My wife came up to me a few mins. later in my workout and asked what that woman was talking to me about.  I smiled and said, “Nothing...just girl stuff!”  There have been several other similar moments recently.  I never get tired of them.  So Michelle, I’m glad to hear you’re having these same experiences too. 

 

Susan R?

Link to comment

Michelle, it's good to find that you're in a better place. Maybe it was just the cosmos turning, maybe it was just your time.

Regardless, any steps, even baby steps, are good if it moves you to a better place.

Hope your stepmom recovers well and soon. It's good that she has a chance to get to know the real you.

TA

Link to comment

I hope she recovers soon as well. This went down while my wife is getting ready to graduate, and nobody wants to have to put that on hold.  She's been working on her doctorate, and life has already thrown several obstacles at her.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, MetaLicious said:

I hope she recovers soon as well. This went down while my wife is getting ready to graduate, and nobody wants to have to put that on hold.  She's been working on her doctorate, and life has already thrown several obstacles at her.

Your priorities are in correct order, IMHO.  Here’s hoping for her quick recovery too.  Just know this is a momentary sacrifice and you’ll be a better person for being there for her.  I’m sure your stepmom appreciates all you do for her.  Keep your head up, Michelle!

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/8/2020 at 2:31 PM, Susan R said:

Your priorities are in correct order, IMHO.  Here’s hoping for her quick recovery too.  Just know this is a momentary sacrifice and you’ll be a better person for being there for her.  I’m sure your stepmom appreciates all you do for her.  Keep your head up, Michelle!

 

Susan R?

Totally agree with this and I too am sorry for the difficulties.  
 

Link to comment

Stepmom is doing well.  She has been focusing on doing the things that are hard to do, and via the magic of neuroplasticity, her brain is rewiring itself to make those things easier.  She's navigating her way around the house on her own, which has been a blessing.  Her progress allowed us to move back into our own house, and visit her to help with things she should not even try (she may be able to handle stairs, but that's no excuse for letting her haul her rubbish bins tp the curb!).

 

She has her first physical therapy appointment tomorrow, which is also my wife's birthday.  She (my wife) is upset because mom seems to be oblivious to the fact that taking someone to therapy isn't exactly spending quality time together.  I love my stepmom, but she can be exasperating sometimes.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 113 Guests (See full list)

    • neo3000
    • VickySGV
    • AllieJ
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,006
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Caohmán
    Newest Member
    Caohmán
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alik222
      Alik222
      (24 years old)
    2. AvaWill
      AvaWill
      (37 years old)
    3. Drewies
      Drewies
      (50 years old)
    4. JackJerryJohnTheTreeWorker
      JackJerryJohnTheTreeWorker
      (28 years old)
    5. jgram22
      jgram22
      (37 years old)
  • Posts

    • Breanne_O
      I picked a cancellation spot with Dr Lorimer yesterday and had my consultation a month early.  I had been worried about how it would go, but the process of exchanging information was nothing to worry about and I felt quite at ease throughout.  That’s not to say some parts weren’t challenging to articulate clearly, but Dr Lorimer’s manner helped enormously.   The GI/GD diagnosis was such a welcome conclusion to it all, and such an important milestone in my journey.   Now for the Endo consult waiting…
    • VickySGV
      This one is NOT over, and this is not a final final ruling on the matter since this was a procedural and not substantive ruling based on scientific evidence.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/supreme-court-allows-enforcement-idaho-ban-gender-affirming-care-trans-rcna141209     6-3 decision, of course.  The conservative Justices really don't give a damn who gets hurt, as long as it's "just" trans kids.  This is what we can expect, going forward.    Carolyn Marie
    • MaeBe
      I am on a three month review cycle for dosage. Do you have a plan with your doctor? I didn't discuss overall strategy when I got my prescription, it was a very long appointment. I was able to ask via web message to get a better idea; we'll check blood every 3 months and titrate accordingly. I don't know if we'll change labs to 6mo after a year or not, but that's where I'm at now. I, too, was like "is this enough?" at the start. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but I've seen positive results during the months at a lower dose and continue to notice changes. For instance, my skin sensitivity is much higher. I always wondered why my wife was so ticklish, but I'm starting to understand why. I'll bet I am 20-40% more sensitive to touch than I was before; gently tickling my arm (I would wake up doing this sometimes, up and down my arms) now makes my fingers tingle...in a good way. :)
    • VickySGV
      @mattie22 Welcome to the Forums Mattie.  Our basic view here is that if you have any questions about your gender then you are not Cis Gender and belong here for that reason alone, because if you are not Cis, then you are someplace in the Trans and/or Non Binary part of the world, and on this site, that is simply who is here, Trans and NB folks!  Be comfortable and do not be afraid to ask questions here, or even give answers to others from your own experience.
    • Mx.Drago
      Making a garden greener than before.
    • mattie22
      I am new to this site and kinda scared  to even come to a site like this. 1 i donot know really if I am even trans or not  I know I amqusting my gender fore sure.  I  grew up thinking m one thing and if you  would have explained the baics of gender  when I was in my teens I would have probly said I was a cis male and ment it.  But I geuse thats  becuse  well I am  ok  with seeing myself as one even  thogh  I  I probly fitin the gendr nonconforing . but I also a part of me likes to be seen and treated Like a fmale somtimes.  When I was ynger I crosdress in secret and I started up again.  I also tuck .  tHE THING IS i CROSS DRESS FOR MANY RRSIONS   AT FIRST OUT OF CURISTY AND THEN JUST BECUSE i LIKE TO WEE TH CLOSES.  aLSO SOMTIMES  ITS PARTLY SEXAL AS WELL SOMTIMES BEUSE IT HELS ME TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE FEMALE AND i LIKE IT.  somtimes I wish I were female as well that comes and goes  uslly  it does not last long.   This has happened more recently.  But it s not like i knew as much about gender untell the last cople of yerses .also turns out I am bisexal it took me while did not know this I thogh i was strait for most of my life. I. ok  I better ened this post. for now.  
    • EasyE
      Thanks for the great advice and support @Astrid. I appreciate it!
    • Astrid
      When you are sure you want to continue your HRT journey and the best dosage for you, consider asking your doctor for a three month prescription cycle (90 days rather than 30). This can result for some in considerable savings. It definitely did for me...   I am at the 4 year 5 month mark for my estrogen patches and am so glad I made the decision to go forward.    Best wishes!   Astrid 
    • Ivy
      I watched someone bury one out on Topsail Island one time.  Made me glad I was on foot.  They did get out before the tide got it though.
    • MaeBe
      If you insist. ;)   Bolder day by day!
    • Willow
      @KymmieL you know that picture was from right down the road from here.  A guy lent his New Red Jeep to his brother.  Brother decided it would be fun to drive on the beach, got stuck tried to self extract, got stuck worse.  Tide came in, a storm tide.  That was the end of the brothers jeep!   now, was that the same Jeep or just a look alike? 🤔. The Red Jeep of Myrtle Beach is infamous.   what about putting aluminum diamond plate on both sides so they match using high strength automotive sealant adhesive?edges could be worked so they aren’t blunt which would be bad.  Paying for body work here is VERY expensive!  And my body work is limited to Fiberglas sailboats.   Willow
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Work went good.Have a new co worker that will not last long.I was working and he was on his phone,chewed him out for it.Did tell my boss this and he had a word with him on it.Said it was costing my boss money and he better be working.My other coworkers and I bet he will be gone tommorrow.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob met her in the parking  lot.  "I tried to call, but no answer." "My phone is missing. I thought it was in my purse but it wasn't. I emptied my purse and my desk but no phone. I checked around.  I don't know where it is." "Well, I found you." "You did, and I am glad." "You are?  I was afraid you were off on a date with one of a dozen of your boyfriends." "Bob, let me be perfectly clear.  There is no one else.  There never has been anyone else. There never will be anyone else. " "Sounds serious." "Dead serious.  Now stop worrying. Don't even tease me about it." "Did I tell you that the only girls I dated reminded me of you, and they both broke it off. They said the same thing: either marry you or get over you." "I think you said that.  I am not ready for that yet." "Neither am I." "I need to change before we go." He had the Wrangler.  It would have been rude to make him wait outside, so he sat in her main room while she went down the hall. He heard her lock the door, no surprise.  Absolutely clean. The laptop on the corner desk had its cover closed, and there was a thick Excel workbook beside it.  Printer.  Wall calendar with cats.  A sunflower wall decoration.  Love seat. Coffee table that was clear.  A Bible underneath it and some books from high school days: John Powell's Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am topped one neat pile, and Success with Seasons: How To Look Your Best headed another, with geometric perfection. He could see into the kitchen.  There were a few clean dishes in the dish drainer but the sink was clean. Around the corner, behind the entrance door, was the laundry room and he could see the dress she wore last night hanging there. She had washed it after wearing it once? Wow.   Now she was out: figure-hugging jeans, knee-high boots, a pretty pink top, her hair pulled back with a band. She smiled at him, grabbed a cross-body bag and proclaimed herself ready. "I didn't leave my phone here, either. Let me try something." She went to the computer and logged in, entered a website, entered a number.  "This should GPS my phone but it is dead. Very strange. Like someone stole it." "Do you want to report it missing?" "No. I have a feeling it will turn up tomorrow  Probably in my desk, lower drawer, at the back, the batteries out. I have a co-worker who would think it is funny." "I'm not amused." "Likewise.  Oh. Church. Bible.  She grabbed a worn ESV from a shelf and flashed a smile at Bob that lit up his world from head to toe and said, "Ready." It was a fast food restaurant with a limited menu.  She had ordered quickly last night.  But now she stood and stared at the menu.  Several times she went up to the counter and asked questions, and finally was handed their Nutritional Fact Sheet. It was twenty minutes from the time they entered to when she ordered a side salad, a small cheeseburger (no pickle, no mustard, no ketchup, but BBQ sauce and no onion rings) and iced tea.  He paid for both meals. "Let's say grace." "Okay, now that we are going to be church people, we should."  He did, and they ate. "You are beautiful." "Focus, Bob, focus." He smiled.  "How was your day?" "I love the roses, but don't do it again, please.  The women in my office are terrible." "Okay. Saves me some money." "That's what I love about you." They laughed.  They pulled into the parking lot of Community Church.  It was a friendly crowd dressed as they were and they fit right in. They buried themselves in the middle of a pew towards the back.  The Worship Team cranked up and they could feel the vibrations throughout their bodies.  They went through a number of high-paced songs.  "Uh-oh," Taylor whispered, and gestured.  The offering was being taken by the hostess who got fired the previous night. "Should we leave now?" "I should talk you into Thursday evenings.  We are talking about not backing down.  Not hiding." The ex-hostess prayed over the offering , eyes closed, and opened them.  Somehow she was looking right at Taylor. She stared for a moment, and then said "Brother Mike, time for the Word."   As he came on stage she whispered something to him.  He turned, scanned the crowd until he found Taylor, and stared at her for ten seconds or so. "You sure you don't want to leave?" "I want to crawl under my seat.  But I would not respect myself in the morning." Brother Mike began with a long prayer about sin in the camp.  Society was degenerating. Men were thinking they were women and women men. He had been meaning to address this issue since he had heard about sin coming even to their own city, and now was the Kairos, for the devil was among them tonight. "Now would be a good time to go." "Ssssh." "In the beginning God made them male and female. Amen?" He got a big amen.  Bob and Taylor amen-ed along with the rest of them.  Brother Mike was surprised.  He continued. This was off the cuff.  He went down the same list that Aggie liked to send her, which amused Taylor.  Taylor amen-ed all of them.  "Oooh, now, tonight there will be DELIVERANCE in the house of the Lord!" AMEN "Freedom from bondage in the Name of the LORD!" "Amen!" "You once were slaves, but Christ has set you free!" This continued for some twenty minutes.  Brother Mike wiped the sweat off his forehead with a towel someone gave him. "Any SINNERS tonight who need DELIVERANCE? Come on down!" Bob and Taylor watched as a few people made their way to the front.  Brother Mike looked directly at Bob and Taylor. "There are more tonight for the  harvest of the LORD!" He looked at them again.  People in this section!" That was the front right.  And here!" That was the section they were in.  About twenty people around them responded and went up front. "We have a mighty harvest here tonight! Altar workers, come Fooorwaaard and minister to God's children."  Several older people, clutching Bibles and wearing vests that said ALTAR WORKER on the back, came forward. "Pray for mercy! Oh, sinners do you feel the mercy of God in the House of the Lord tonight!" He looked at Bob and Taylor, now sitting in a large area of otherwise empty seats.  Ahead of them and behind them and on the other side of the main aisle there were a lot more people.  "There are more sinners here tonight. I can feel it. Isn't the grace of God tugging on your heart?" "I like the grace of God tugging on my heart part, but no way am I going down there." "Agreed." After a while no one else came forward.  Brother Mike took one more last look at them and signaled for the Worship Team to come up and do a closing number. "Ready to leave?" "No, I'm not." "What are you waiting for, Taylor?" "I'm not sure.  We might have an interesting conversation." "Here?" "Yes." "I want to hear your definition of an interesting conversation sometime." They sat and watched as those up front diminished in number.  Other people slipped out.  Brother Mike looked at them several times, but he was mainly praying for people. The last worship number ended.  People were still up front praying. "Well that was fun," Taylor said in the Wrangler. "Strike that one off the list of churches to go to."  Someone was running up to them. "Wait a minute!  Y'all are first time visitors?" "Yes, we are."   The guy smiled.  "Here is a complimentary coffee cup for each of you.  Sorry we missed you earlier.  God bless.."  With that he was gone. They looked at the cups. Community Church, Millvale.  Have a Blessed Day. "Something to remember it by." "I don't think I will forget. I wonder what second time visitors get?" "I am so not interested. "   The next day her phone was exactly where she thought it would be.  Something would have to be done, but she was not sure what.  In the meantime her phone and purse would be in the drawer, and the drawer would be locked whenever she was away from her desk.                  
    • KymmieL
      Oh, I can take you to some fun trails, mild to wild. Doing boulders the size of Volkswagen's.  Doing a trail were crossing a lake is part of it. ( my best witches cackle) It would be great for you to stop by for a visit. I'll get you stuck?   @Ashley0616 our Explorer is a 1994 Explorer XLT, 4 in lift, 33's basically build for the trail.   Just waiting on my brake hoses.   Kymmie      
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...