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MetaLicious

Another step taken!

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MetaLicious

I came out to my wife on the winter solstice, and to the rest of my immediate family over the next seversl weeks. In January, I started the long (and somewhat expensive) process of switching out my wardrobe. It's been challenging and fun to discover what my style is.  "Playing with my gender" has provided me with a greater sense of certainty that transitioning is right for me.  The next step was to get in touch with a therapist.

 

Then my stepmom had a stroke.  She needs to have someone around to assist her 24/7.  Her house is in the suburbs, far from, well, everything.  So mom's going to be moving in with us, which forced us to give 30-day notice to our tenant, who is also my best friend.  Suddenly I have been cut off from my entire network of meatspace friends.

 

It's a bummer, but I'm not bummed. After playing with names for a while, I realized I didn't need to choose a name - I already had one: Michelle. It's the one I use when I get exasperated with myself.  It's what leaves my mouth without any conscious effort on my part.  The only reason I considered alternative name was because ai would be sharing the name with my cousin.  But not really!  Her nickname is Shelly, and I'm not a Shelly...  I went ahead a created a new Google account with my new name.  It feels so official!

 

Also, despite the chaos in our lives, I made that therapist appointment.  I had done my research, and contacted him, and he worked with me to figure out a date that we both can be available. It's on, baby!  Just over a week to go.

 

I cannot begin to describe how incredible it feels to recieve emails addressed to Michelle...

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Susan R
46 minutes ago, MetaLicious said:

I cannot begin to describe how incredible it feels to recieve emails addressed to Michelle...

Interestingly enough, I had the same experience when sending out emails to everyone and giving them my new email addy.  There definitely seems to be something “official” feeling about it.

 

I’m sorry to read about the stroke and your stepmother.  That’s hard no matter when this happens in ones life.

 

Good for you for the latest transitional changes in your life.  I think you’ll be even happier as things get settled a bit more with your stepmother and all. She’s lucky to have someone like you in her life.

 

My Best,

Susan R🌷

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MetaLicious
38 minutes ago, Susan R said:

Interestingly enough, I had the same experience when sending out emails to everyone and giving them my new email addy.  There definitely seems to be something “official” feeling about it.

 

I’m sorry to read about the stroke and your mother.  That’s hard no matter when this happens in ones life.

 

Good for you for the latest transitional changes in your life.  I think you’ll be even happier as things get settled a bit more with your mother and all.  She’s lucky to have someone like you in her life.

 

My Best,

Susan R🌷

Thank you so much!  We're already growing closer - she said that I seem to be in a better place, and I certainly agree with her.  Self-denial is decidedly not a good place to be.  Yesterday, I realized the degree of her acceptance was pretty deep. I was assisting her to the bathroom, and she didn't bother waiting for me to leave before commencing to take care of business.  At that moment I felt like I was being treated like "just one of the girls".  I'm pretty lucky myself!

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Susan R
1 hour ago, MetaLicious said:

I was assisting her to the bathroom, and she didn't bother waiting for me to leave before commencing to take care of business.  At that moment I felt like I was being treated like "just one of the girls".  I'm pretty lucky myself!

Yes, isn’t it a great feeling?  Earlier in my life, I had always wanted to fit in as a woman with my girlfriends but it just wasn’t meant to be.  But I’m getting a glimpse of what it’s like now.

I was at the gym doing some inner thigh stretches among other things before starting my workout.  The lady next to me started a conversation about how the exercise I was doing was one of her favorites during pregnancy. She started discussing things I would’ve never thought a woman would ever mention to a man...especially at a gym.  I realized that she and I were having one of “those conversations“ that men never hear, at least firsthand.  It was a wonderful moment for me.  My wife came up to me a few mins. later in my workout and asked what that woman was talking to me about.  I smiled and said, “Nothing...just girl stuff!”  There have been several other similar moments recently.  I never get tired of them.  So Michelle, I’m glad to hear you’re having these same experiences too. 

 

Susan R🌷

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TammyAnne

Michelle, it's good to find that you're in a better place. Maybe it was just the cosmos turning, maybe it was just your time.

Regardless, any steps, even baby steps, are good if it moves you to a better place.

Hope your stepmom recovers well and soon. It's good that she has a chance to get to know the real you.

TA

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MetaLicious

I hope she recovers soon as well. This went down while my wife is getting ready to graduate, and nobody wants to have to put that on hold.  She's been working on her doctorate, and life has already thrown several obstacles at her.

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Susan R
5 hours ago, MetaLicious said:

I hope she recovers soon as well. This went down while my wife is getting ready to graduate, and nobody wants to have to put that on hold.  She's been working on her doctorate, and life has already thrown several obstacles at her.

Your priorities are in correct order, IMHO.  Here’s hoping for her quick recovery too.  Just know this is a momentary sacrifice and you’ll be a better person for being there for her.  I’m sure your stepmom appreciates all you do for her.  Keep your head up, Michelle!

 

Susan R🌷

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ShawnaLeigh
On 2/8/2020 at 2:31 PM, Susan R said:

Your priorities are in correct order, IMHO.  Here’s hoping for her quick recovery too.  Just know this is a momentary sacrifice and you’ll be a better person for being there for her.  I’m sure your stepmom appreciates all you do for her.  Keep your head up, Michelle!

 

Susan R🌷

Totally agree with this and I too am sorry for the difficulties.  
 

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MetaLicious

Stepmom is doing well.  She has been focusing on doing the things that are hard to do, and via the magic of neuroplasticity, her brain is rewiring itself to make those things easier.  She's navigating her way around the house on her own, which has been a blessing.  Her progress allowed us to move back into our own house, and visit her to help with things she should not even try (she may be able to handle stairs, but that's no excuse for letting her haul her rubbish bins tp the curb!).

 

She has her first physical therapy appointment tomorrow, which is also my wife's birthday.  She (my wife) is upset because mom seems to be oblivious to the fact that taking someone to therapy isn't exactly spending quality time together.  I love my stepmom, but she can be exasperating sometimes.

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