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Name Panic


Hellothere

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Hellothere

I recently came out and while im over joyed- i also have moments of panic. The new name-Cody- i like it. Others like it.

something about having the power to name myself forever scares me. Hearing Cody- makes me sure. Its when there is downtime alone- not hearing Cody, i start to worry i wont like it in a couple years. Or maybe one. Or two. I dont want to change it. But j get moments of "did i make the right choice". And yes of course itll take time for me to get used to the name. But does the feeling of 'did i make the right choice' ever leave. That doubt freaks me out. 
does this make sense?

anyone else deal with it?

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  • Forum Moderator

There are always those moments where we are unsure so you just have to go with what feels right at the time.  The feeling will eventually pass.

 

Jani

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MetaLicious

It absolutely makes sense, Cody.  Most people go through life "stuck" with the name they were given because it never occurs to them to change it, even if they hate it.  I think choosing a name for yourself is scary precisely because it is so powerful.  It's very potent to change an aspect of yourself that most take for granted as unchangeable, but that's pretty much what us transfolk do, isn't it?

 

For me, I had those feelings for a while. I was trying on names to see how they felt, and I finally settled on Michelle.  It just felt right.  If Cody feels good, then wear it for a while. You may find it fits even better after some time, or you may decide to try something else. Remember, you have the power to change your name any time you want. Whether it's forever is your choice.

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ShawnaLeigh
15 hours ago, Hellothere said:

moments of "did i make the right choice".

Oh yes I went threw this for weeks.  My birth name being "Shawn" I was determined to just go with that as it is a unisex name and I have known some beautiful Shawns in my life.

But I was then asked by my therapist what I had chosen for a new name and I went into my lazy explanation of just keeping it to avoid document changes and such in the future and not getting caught up with issues concerning a different name at work, etc.  Which he explained would of been perfectly ligament but he suggested moving it to a more feminine name to reinforce my transition within myself as a women. 

As you can see I didn't move much  LOL

I do feel better about it being a solid feminine name and not unisex anymore.

 

At first I totally didn't want that as my name for a few reasons but mostly because we already have a Shawna in my wife's family and my best friends wife is a Shawna too.  So I felt weirdness over using it as my name.

However I had my reasons for liking it too and coupled with my new middle name Leigh  I absolutely love the flow and sound of it.

Point being it takes time to make such a powerful choice to rename yourself to who you truly are inside and wish to be known on the outside as.

Try on a few different ones here.  We wont judge and in the end its all about you anyways.

Its never a done deal either as it can be changed easily.  Once you go for legally changed then its just more money right?  LOL

 

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Willowtry

I deal it with it too. Albeit, my name change is very recent, it might be why in my case I sometimes have doubts. I don't know how it is for you, but it's not just that I like my new name, I always feel very pleased whenever I'm called by my new name. But again, it could just be because in my case it is very recent.

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