Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

stand up for one self


Lexi C

Recommended Posts

So like many of you I have made no bones of my trans life. I  go out in public , I go to social and friends gatherings as a well, Yet I will occasionally be call him or he.....now here's the dilemma..I will correct the person  on the spot whether it at a bar and the said person is a belligerent drunk or doc office. The dilemma is I will feel super depress for the rest of the day even though I stood up from myself, because no matter how hard I still getting him...Breathing sucks..So when you stand up for yourself what trigger do you use to maintain the feeling of worth and dignity up for suggestions . Trying to be proud, alex

Link to comment

I’m not exactly sure Alex.  I get mishendered all day long 7 days a week but I still present male in public.  Even so hearing the wrong pronouns chews on me as I know who I am.  I naturally do not correct anyone due to my presentation but I hear what your saying and feeling.  For me it’s self inflicted so I can’t say much.  In other times I do what we all did for so long and hide behind false male self confidence and bravado.   
However depression is tough hon.  It’s a powerful and sometime crippling emotion.  I never understood the depths of depression until I came out.  The inner conflict. It’s a horrible emotion.  
On the flip side pride in yourself and standing up for yourself is almost euphoric as it’s make you feel good about who and what you are.  
I think at some level it’s ok to use that old male shell to protect yourself from such things.  We had to be macho, tough, proud and strut.  Acting like nothing phased us even though we were scared or hurting inside.  Some of those learned actions and emotion eventually became a real part of us.  Use them as they too are a part of you.  
Ok so now you may come off as being a witch with a B but we as women have that prerogative too. Lol

In the end it may just boil down to self confidence in knowing who you are sprinkled with a lot of “I don’t care what they think”.  
Eventually it won’t matter to you anymore as you will solidify your feminisms and personality.  
 

or like I said earlier. 
Im not sure.  Lol

 

Link to comment

Alex, We gotta make our own decisions Nobody can tell us what to do Keep your eye on the strongest vision as you want to be
The right people in your life will see it too.


You've tired of all the misgendering. You can really see it in your post But regardless You still breathe your still awake But everytime this happens you feel your heart sinking and a little piece of your of your personal utopia dies.

All i can say is many all the same right now and have been in the past. But We have to make it through somehow.

Just try to keep your passion We can all really see your light  shining through
Dont be obbsessed by the people that would do this just because they can.
In your mind you know the truth The world can seem so strange when you get mis represented. Got to admit. I havent been called Sir in a long time but i can still remember how much it use to ching my armour.

 

Going back to the above. I would believe that reading the situation is the best way forwald. Firstly, Is it worth even correcting someone? Are they your freind or your potential foe? Do you stand or walk? Which theres no shame in. its a kind of Are they worth it? As far as freinds go or people you see on a regular basis. Then maybe a correction is needed. Just so they know the mistake and hopefully correct themselves in the future. If they are not ready to apolosgise then are they really worth your time?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I agree with Maid about determining whether it is safe or prudent to correct someone.  But aside from that, I can say it will always hurt a little when it happens.  But eventually you will get a tough(er) skin and it won't get to you as it does now.  Remember that in today's environment even cis women get called out sometimes (guys too).  Just focus on being the best you that you can be. 

 

Hugs, Jani

Link to comment

thanks ladies...I try to follow the great advice....I keep forget sometimes but ty I really appreciated 

Link to comment

My job at Starbucks is a struggle. I'm not very passing. My coworkers are all very sweet, supportive amd respect my pronouns. But I get misgendered by customers quite a bit. Sometimes it really throws me off and I find myself dwelling on it for the rest of the day. 

 

If the customer is old, foreign, or has otherwise been very respectful through the transaction, I try to just let it go. I don't want to cause a scene or draw unwanted attention. But I've been getting better at calmly correcting people when they misgender me... 

 

I dunno, it's a struggle.

 

~Toni

Link to comment

Toni I forget you have such and interacting job. Heck I don't know how you do...but thanks for the advice

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 94 Guests (See full list)

    • Kylie
    • MaeBe
    • Thea
    • April Marie
    • Ashley0616
    • Ivy
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,940
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Raelyn
    Newest Member
    Raelyn
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
    • Ashley0616
      I don't see why not. I have worn forms since I came out. 
    • MaeBe
      I have never worn breastforms, but I assume as long as they don't aggravate your nipples you could.
    • MaeBe
      Every week I've been excited to take my shot, so it's never been an issue. Yesterday, however, I woke up and started my usual "slow roll" and then suddenly realized I had breakfast plans that I had to rush out the door for. After, it was straight into work calls, and then I got the notification from the doctor about things being too high and all the while my mind had completely slipped that I needed take my shot.   Given that I am not asking for medical advice, but sharing my journey, I will note my results: Estradiol at 447 pg/mL and Testosterone was 23 ng/dL, up and down from 26 pg/mL and 526 ng/dL respectively before treatment. Almost flipped the bit! The doc would like my Estradiol closer to 300 pg/mL, so we'll see what Monday's tests state.   Oh, and I teased the dinner with old soccer teammates and never updated the thread! It went well. There were a couple funny moments. One guy, who I was worried about their response, greeted me with "Hey, you've lost some weight!" 😎 And a friend who lives near me picked me up on the way to dinner exclaimed, after we learned one of the invitees might show up with a date, "Wait! We could have brought women?!" To which I instantly responded, "You kind of did, bringing me!" Everyone got a good laugh out of that. 😁
    • Ashley0616
      To me there isn't that much difference other the measurement, which side the zipper is on and men's pants have bigger pockets. 
    • missyjo
      I hope this is not stupid question..I have yet to start n not sure if doc will approve..but once you start growing buds n such, can you still wear forms to get to the size you were?   I'm a dad, so when I start blossoms they will be smaller for a long time n probably need surgical augmented..that's fine. I don't want to go ddd to aa to ddd..   any ideas?   thank you
    • missyjo
      April sounds fun..I keep some boy jeans to visit mom in..fir now   hugs
    • Ivy
      I like them too.  We had them growing up.  But my father's family were Swedes.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Oh my!  I guess it just goes to show how different tastes can be. Since we don't live near the ocean, Seafood is a rare luxury. We absolutely love pickled herring! Especially my husband and my GF, I guess it's a Ferman/Russian cultural thing.  But most of the kids like it too, and a jar wouldn't last in the pantry for long 😆
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I think the key to that is just not minding eating the same thing repeatedly. Since we produce a lot of our own food here, we end up eating what is in season at the moment. So, when the yellow squash is ripening, we end up fixing squash 20 different ways. When the strawberries are ready, we eat lots of strawberries. It's kind of a different mindset to eat in season when it has become such a part of American culture but the grocery store has everything we want all the time. Like grapes in December.  My family does even things out a little bit by having a greenhouse so we have some fresh things in the winter, but it's not a 100% fix.
    • KathyLauren
      My brothers and I had to eat what was on the plate.  All of it, and nothing else.  Pickiness was not tolerated.  Some of our least favourite were liver and onions, sauerkraut, and especially rollmops (pickled herring).  We finally protested enough to persuade our mother not to serve rollmops, though she kept a jar in the pantry for years afterwards, as a threat if we didn't behave.
    • Carolyn Marie
      I'll go first.  My favorite team is the Yankees.  Loved them since I was a kid.  I was born in NYC so, yeah.  I know everyone loves to hate them, and that's OK.  I just love baseball in general.  It's a game of traditions, strategy, power, grace and skill.   Play Ball!!  ⚾   Carolyn Marie
    • Ashley0616
      I guess you do have a good point. It's just hard to try and not have the same meals over and over again. 
    • Willow
      Hi   I’ll weigh in on being picky about food.  Yes, and I was brought up that way.  We didn’t have to eat everything our parents ate.  They had a number of things they ate that they figured we wouldn’t eat, an acquired taste things or one or the other didn’t like them too.   even as an adult there are many things I won’t eat.  In my defense, there are different things my wife won’t eat.   the weird thing is that after being in E, my tastes have changed.  Sweet, sour, salty or bland, if I eat or drink too much of any one thing and I have to counter act it.   Willow

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...