Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

stand up for one self


Lexi C

Recommended Posts

So like many of you I have made no bones of my trans life. I  go out in public , I go to social and friends gatherings as a well, Yet I will occasionally be call him or he.....now here's the dilemma..I will correct the person  on the spot whether it at a bar and the said person is a belligerent drunk or doc office. The dilemma is I will feel super depress for the rest of the day even though I stood up from myself, because no matter how hard I still getting him...Breathing sucks..So when you stand up for yourself what trigger do you use to maintain the feeling of worth and dignity up for suggestions . Trying to be proud, alex

Link to post
ShawnaLeigh

I’m not exactly sure Alex.  I get mishendered all day long 7 days a week but I still present male in public.  Even so hearing the wrong pronouns chews on me as I know who I am.  I naturally do not correct anyone due to my presentation but I hear what your saying and feeling.  For me it’s self inflicted so I can’t say much.  In other times I do what we all did for so long and hide behind false male self confidence and bravado.   
However depression is tough hon.  It’s a powerful and sometime crippling emotion.  I never understood the depths of depression until I came out.  The inner conflict. It’s a horrible emotion.  
On the flip side pride in yourself and standing up for yourself is almost euphoric as it’s make you feel good about who and what you are.  
I think at some level it’s ok to use that old male shell to protect yourself from such things.  We had to be macho, tough, proud and strut.  Acting like nothing phased us even though we were scared or hurting inside.  Some of those learned actions and emotion eventually became a real part of us.  Use them as they too are a part of you.  
Ok so now you may come off as being a witch with a B but we as women have that prerogative too. Lol

In the end it may just boil down to self confidence in knowing who you are sprinkled with a lot of “I don’t care what they think”.  
Eventually it won’t matter to you anymore as you will solidify your feminisms and personality.  
 

or like I said earlier. 
Im not sure.  Lol

 

Link to post
Maid In Bedlam

Alex, We gotta make our own decisions Nobody can tell us what to do Keep your eye on the strongest vision as you want to be
The right people in your life will see it too.


You've tired of all the misgendering. You can really see it in your post But regardless You still breathe your still awake But everytime this happens you feel your heart sinking and a little piece of your of your personal utopia dies.

All i can say is many all the same right now and have been in the past. But We have to make it through somehow.

Just try to keep your passion We can all really see your light  shining through
Dont be obbsessed by the people that would do this just because they can.
In your mind you know the truth The world can seem so strange when you get mis represented. Got to admit. I havent been called Sir in a long time but i can still remember how much it use to ching my armour.

 

Going back to the above. I would believe that reading the situation is the best way forwald. Firstly, Is it worth even correcting someone? Are they your freind or your potential foe? Do you stand or walk? Which theres no shame in. its a kind of Are they worth it? As far as freinds go or people you see on a regular basis. Then maybe a correction is needed. Just so they know the mistake and hopefully correct themselves in the future. If they are not ready to apolosgise then are they really worth your time?

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator

I agree with Maid about determining whether it is safe or prudent to correct someone.  But aside from that, I can say it will always hurt a little when it happens.  But eventually you will get a tough(er) skin and it won't get to you as it does now.  Remember that in today's environment even cis women get called out sometimes (guys too).  Just focus on being the best you that you can be. 

 

Hugs, Jani

Link to post

thanks ladies...I try to follow the great advice....I keep forget sometimes but ty I really appreciated 

Link to post

My job at Starbucks is a struggle. I'm not very passing. My coworkers are all very sweet, supportive amd respect my pronouns. But I get misgendered by customers quite a bit. Sometimes it really throws me off and I find myself dwelling on it for the rest of the day. 

 

If the customer is old, foreign, or has otherwise been very respectful through the transaction, I try to just let it go. I don't want to cause a scene or draw unwanted attention. But I've been getting better at calmly correcting people when they misgender me... 

 

I dunno, it's a struggle.

 

~Toni

Link to post

Toni I forget you have such and interacting job. Heck I don't know how you do...but thanks for the advice

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 74 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Dana Michelle
    • KendraML
    • QuestioningAmber
    • Shay
    • DeeDee
    • Jackie C.
    • DonkeySocks
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      72,245
    • Total Posts
      660,205
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      7,541
    • Most Online
      8,356

    alexhimari
    Newest Member
    alexhimari
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Kendra Chelsea
      Kendra Chelsea
    2. Lou Lamoureux
      Lou Lamoureux
      (19 years old)
    3. Petra Jane
      Petra Jane
      (60 years old)
  • Posts

    • Dana Michelle
      I had my first session of genital electrolysis today. Today I had the hair around the base of the penis treated and on Thursday I will have the perineum treated. I actually found the pain much milder than on my face. My electrologist said most clients find genitals more painful. It was difficult to apply the numbing cream (today I put it on both the perineum and penis because I didn't know how much the electrologist could get done during the appointment). On the perineum I can't see where I'm applying it while I'm applying it. I have to go back and forth between applying and looking in a mirror. Also, walking and sitting cause the cream and plastic wrap to move around so I had to reapply it. In another thread I talked about the possibility of getting erect https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/topic/81268-electrolysis-while-erect/ . Unfortunately, I did get fully erect at the beginning of my appointment. However, the electrologist didn't react to it or seem offended. Around the beginning, she told me not to get embarrassed and that she's done this many times before. She probably said this before noticing that I was erect. It was while I was on the table without pants but while she was preparing. The erection was the part I found embarrassing. Hopefully being noticeably embarrassed made my electrologist realize that I didn't want the erection. She also found the diagram unclear. It said to clear a strip 2.5 inches wide starting 1 inch above the anus but didn't say how long of an area to clear. I e-mailed my surgeon and hopefully will get a response in time. It's 3 1/2 hours after the end of the appointment and I still feel numb in part of my genitals. It doesn't last nearly that long on my face. I hope it's not a problem. I have the least feeling in the glans of the penis but didn't put any numbing cream on that area. Strange.  
    • Shay
      @QuestioningAmber glad you look cute in the outfit.   Sadly that's a feeling I will never experience but I sure am glad for you. 👍 thank you for your kind words about my brother. I wasn't that close but mortality is something that hits closer when one losses a sibling.
    • MomTGDaughter
      Hello Margie, how are things going with your daughter. has she started to transition?  As a mother in the same position as you. I am here to support you.  
    • KymmieL
      I don't visit for a day and things happen. @Shay sorry for the loss of your older brother.   @Emily michelleLike everyone else. Hope your wife gets through this soon.     Well as I said earlier, yesterday was my 35th wedding anniversary also the 14th anniversary of my father passing. I think he passed on that day to spite us. everything was nice. We both worked and went for a beautiful dinner. I do believe that my wife may have alzhimers She said something last evening that I knew was totally wrong. Of course, I cannot remember what.   So today the FNG got Chinese delivered. He tosses me a fortune cookie. It is totally correct for me. "A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't"   Hugs, to all.   Kymmie
    • KathyLauren
      I voted in our municipal elections last week.  They had online voting, and it was pretty painless.  I had to talk to the returning officer and send a copy of my name change certificate, to get my name updated on the voting register.   Definitely get out there and vote, y'all.
    • QuestioningAmber
      @Shay My condolences on your loss, I know losing a loved on is hard, and the closer you are the harder it is.   @Emily michelle Hopefully you come up negative and your wife bounces back quickly and well.   @Willow I concur on the remembering the guidelines and getting your vaccinations.   Today has been strange, I have felt good and kind of cute with the outfit I am wearing. I am still feeling calm since starting HRT, which my therapist was kind of surprised by because she said too much can cause anxiety, so I don't know. I have two remaining family members to come out to, then I have come out to everyone that I will do until I socially transition and go full time. My mom is already trying to talk about what my plans are for Thanksgiving, and we aren't at Halloween, lol.
    • KathyLauren
      @ShayI am sorry to hear of the loss of your brother.   @Emily MicheleI hope your wife has a speedy recovery, and that you stay healthy.
    • Aidan5
    • Jackie C.
    • Jackie C.
      Voted at the city clerk's office two weeks ago Thursday.   Also, had to move this to a more appropriate topic area. Sorry 'bout that but rules are rules. I went with general because this thread is non-partisan in any way. It's just, "Please do your civic duty." I'll move it again if it gets political.   Hugs!
    • TrIIIy
      Great hair style. Seems to fit your head shape well.
    • TrIIIy
      @Heather NicoleI’ve been on testosterone for nine months, and I have noticed more physical changes than mental or emotional ones. I thought that I would feel different on T, but for the most part, I just cry less easily and am preoccupied by certain types of *thoughts*. That in itself is a pretty big change, though, since I’ve never had much of a libido.    I imagine that I appreciate the physical changes more than your average cis male, since I have always wanted them but was given a different type of puberty. I admit that the sheer amount of hair is a lot to process as someone who used to shave their legs. The voice change is my favorite aspect of the second puberty by far.    Overall, I look more different on the outside than I feel on the inside, which I like.
    • Teri Anne
      Cruise the plus sizes rather than trying to make your gut fit in reg sizes.
    • TrIIIy
      Thanks for the information @VickySGV.
    • Shay

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...