Gender confusion

[I_dont_know_my_name]

Im putting this on here because currently no one knows that I'm thinking about being transgender and am still trying to figure myself out 

 

I have some signs which point me in that direction such as really wanting to get a fuller chest when I was younger and then when it happened I realised I hated them and I just wanted to fit in with the other girls but I didn't. 

 

I've found it really difficult to bond with girls at all I've only really been friends with guys which Ive found is just so much easier than forcing myself to like what girls talked about. 

 

I hate my body, I always have but put it down to me being overweight which I still am but I hate my wide hips and that my shoulders aren't broader and I have a quite small face and my thighs are really big. I've noticed over the years that the things I hate about my body with my chest included are all feminine qualities about me which I. HATE! I capitilized just so you would fully understand. 

 

I also made a drastic decision to shave the back of my head but I still have long hair at the front and really want nothing more than to cut it like a boys. I used to have short hair before puberty which I loved because I think I felt like a boy 

 

These are a few reasons why I think I am trans and I wanted to know if there was nnything else anyone else encountered which made them feel transgender as much as I do so I can relate and try to understand the bigger picture. 

 

I would also be so grateful for and guidence on what to do next because Ive research a bit and think I need to speak to my gp but I haven't come out to my parents yet. Not because they would judge because they already know I'm pansexual but I just have a fear of coming out to them

[MetaLicious]

First: Welcome to the boards!  You've come to the right place to ask just the kind of questions you have...  Everyone has a unique experience, but there is a lot of overlap.

 

My first experience wa long before I even knew the difference between the genders, and it manifested as a jealousy regarding girls' bodies, specifically their tummies. As I approached puberty, I became obsessed with getting rid of all my body hair (which I did, and boy, did it itch!).  It wasn't until my early 20s that I even had a word other than jealousy to describe how I felt. I didn't even think I had dysphoria, because I didn't hate my body - I just really, really wanted a different one.  It took me until me early 50s to realize my assigned gender wasn't a good fit, and that pretending otherwise was not healthy for me.

 

If you're thinking about changing you gender, you're probably trans, because such a thing never occurs to cisgendered people.  The first step I would suggest is find someone to talk to: a therapist, counselor, or even a trusted parent.

 

[Jackie C.]

The first point is pretty simple. Cis people don't generally. think about being born the wrong gender.

 

I get where you're coming from friends-wise too. Being surrounded by other women is my happy place. At holiday gatherings I just wanted to hang out in the kitchen and help out while we chatted. We don't always share the same interests, but I'm willing to make the effort for girl friends.

OK, that's like 180 degrees from your experience, but you get the idea. Basically I don't work as a "male." I have some pretty chronic male fail. I remember wanting to be a girl as early as three or so (the date might be off, but I was three when we lived in the place I remember pretending to be a girl). The feelings sometimes got stronger or weaker, but they never really went away. There was always a voice in the back of my mind whispering, "You'd be a spectacular woman."

That voice was absolutely right.

 

As for your next step, while there's no perfect pattern for coming out that works for all of us, at some point you're going to need to sit down and talk with a gender therapist. That's probably what I'd work for next. I can't say exactly how that works for a minor in the UK. I don't live there. You should be able to find a counselor or other resource designed to help people like yourself find the help they need.

 

Finally, welcome to the site! I think you'll find us supportive and we've recently gained quite a few young men in your situation who you could very well find more helpful than an old woman like me. Please feel free to browse and join the conversation!

 

Hugs!