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SarahVA

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Hello everyone.  Just  joined so I thought I would try to do some sort of an introduction.  I am not very good at these things.  First off, am older (64) identified male at birth, and I guess best descriptor right now would be MTF questioning.  I have felt for a long time that I am not quite right as male.  This is probably a story that most have heard before.  Sarah has been kept in a box for many years.  When little I knew I preferred being a girl.  Back then there was no "gender identity", even transgender wasn't something anyone talked about or even knew anything about.  So I liked girl things and just felt that was what I wanted.  Of course, didn't go over well, got punished, got the "boys don't do that" lectures so that's what I did, boy stuff.  Except for some playing "house" with a friend who wanted a sister, pretty much pushed it all away, figured I was weird or it was a phase.  Put Sarah in a box and kind of nailed it shut for many, many years.  Did all the "right" male things, scouts, military, married, kids.  Sarah would peak out now and then, but basically didn't think about it much, or tired not to.  Fast forward to the internet and I was able to see there were others out there and then started doing some dressing as a woman now and then.  Started with crossdressers but that didn't really seem to describe me and how I felt.  Dressing wasn't a stress reliever, or anything sexual,  it just seemed to be me.  Well fast forward a few more years and now it is more and more  emotional and feeling that it's just not me as a male.  So just trying to figure things out and make some effort to balance it all out.  Hope that wasn't all too long winded.  Thank you.  Sarah

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Hi Sarah! Welcome to Transpulse forums :) Thank you for sharing your experiences because most importantly these experiences help the gender questioning peeps out there to see a clearer version of themselves when they realize others are going through the same thing & never hesitate to open a post for any questions you might have down the road because that's what we're here for :) 

 

Goodluck on your Journey Sarah!❤️

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi, Sarah.  You have come to the right place.

 

Your story is very, very familiar.  Except for the kids, I could have written it myself.  I was 61 when I was where you are now. 

 

If you can, I would recommend that you see a gender therapist.  They will be able to help you figure out what you want to accomplish and how to get there.

 

Regards,

Kathy

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That's totally understandable, but you came to the right place. Some might say that reaching out for help in gender questioning is a milestone so be proud of yourself :) next step is identifying yourself and the lifestyle that goes with it so you feel more like yourself, I hope you find the answers you seek!

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Sarah!  Another older member here.  Welcome.  

 

1 hour ago, SarahVA said:

Fast forward to the internet and I was able to see there were others out there and then started doing some dressing as a woman now and then.  Started with crossdressers but that didn't really seem to describe me and how I felt.  Dressing wasn't a stress reliever, or anything sexual,  it just seemed to be me.  Well fast forward a few more years and now it is more and more  emotional and feeling that it's just not me as a male.

Me as well.   As Kathy noted, I also could have written your intro.  You're not alone here.  I understand it scary to admit this to yourself but its all part of the process to gaining freedom in your life.  

 

Please join in the conversation.  There are a number of us music lovers and a few sailors as well.  You're in good company.

 

Cheers, Jani 

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Salutations Sarah, this is a place to be the best authentic you, you can be and remember you are only alone if you allow yourself to be we are here for you when in need.

 

Please be well?

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  • Forum Moderator
4 hours ago, SarahVA said:

So just trying to figure things out and make some effort to balance it all out.

I’m sure you’ll figure out a lot of things Now that your real journey is underway.  You’re in good company and we are a helpful bunch...or at least we try hard to be.  It’s like most things though...you get what you put in.

 

Your story is like many others...different in details yet so similar when taken in whole.  I too waited to transition until I was 56. It’s been a fun, unpredictable and a sometimes scary ride but it’s all been worth it for me.  I hope you enjoy this place as much as I do.

 

Thanks for sharing a little about yourself,

Susan R?

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug, 

Timber Wolf ?

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15 hours ago, The Viv Element said:

Also you look great for someone your age! ?

I was thinking the same thing! WOW!

Welcome to the family girl!  Yes your story is very similar to many here so you are definitely not alone.  There are older gals here too so no worries there.  

Glad you found us.

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Hi Sarah. 

Thank you for introducing yourself. 

I relate to being punished for acting "not right", (whatever the people in charge of me decided "that" was back then). 

Welcome :)

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Sarah.  Like you i was scared and conflicted when i first arrived here.  I found that sharing about myself and reading about others, in a safe environment, helped me find comfort with myself.

Relax and enjoy.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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