Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Taylor

Starting HRT and Effects

Recommended Posts

Taylor

Hi everyone,

 

It's been a while since I've felt up for posting. (I'm so glad Winter has at least taken a break for a bit). To start off, I am glad to say I started HRT about a week ago. I know a lot of the changes don't really start until a few months in, especially the physical changes like fat redistribution and breast growth. I am however a bit curious, since that time frame is really an expectation more than a hard-set rule. If anyone would be willing to share how long it took them, before noticing various changes... be it some of the mentioned physical ones, or other changes like some of the mental/emotional shifts I've heard can happen.

 

I understand things can vary a fair bit, based on a variety of factors. I am still interested to hear the experiences of others.

 

Thanks,

Taylor

Share this post


Link to post
MaryMary

It took me about 1 or 2 months I think. If I remember well the first physical effect was the skin

The first mental effect was feeling incredibly mellow but for the mental effects there's so much thing going on when starting hrt for me at the time that it's hard to know what had what effect. 1. it was the end of a 20 y/o depression 2. there was a certain amount of gender euphoria (being incredibly happy to finally be able to be myself) 3. hrt

so yeah, my guess is that the really really mellow part was because of hrt,

the more energy part was because my depression was ending

and my incredibly good mood at that time was because of being able to be myself finally

 

but that being said I think that it's different for each person and kind of highly depend of many factors like your genetic, how old are you, etc etc There's many unknown things around hrt. My answer would be different if I were to believe my gender therapist at that time but I highly doubt the scientific value of what she was telling me.

 

so yeah, my answer is the most conservative and rationnal I can give.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Hi Taylor and thanks for the update.  As to changes, we're all different but you might start to notice a few things soon like less oiliness in your skin and a softness too.  Mental changes will come along soon enough although through the placebo effect you may start to feel better and different sooner.  No changes to facial hair.  Other physical changes may take a bit to manifest.  Hang on though, it will be interesting.

 

Cheers, Jani

Share this post


Link to post
KathyLauren

Within the first month, I was starting to notice changes: tingling in my breasts, softer skin.  Within three months, there was noticeable breast growth.  My six months, I could see changes in my lips and eyes.  By the end of the first year, my body hair was thinning out or gone entirely, and my wife was commenting on how feminine my face looked.  At about two and a half years, I could notice some fat redistribution.

 

As with everything HRT-related, your mileage may vary.

Share this post


Link to post
Jackie C.

A lot of it depends on age. You're 25, so you might not see much, or anything, in the way of hips. Breast tenderness was the first physical change I noticed. However, estridiol had been working dark magic on my brain before that. You'll find yourself more emotional first. It's subtle though, it sneaks up on you. Crying easier while consuming media for example.

 

Breasts are next. I'm not a good person to talk to about that. After about eighteen months I've got an A-Cup. I was a slow bloomer for puberty 1.0 too though, so I'm still holding out hope for a visit from the boob fairy.

 

Softer and clearer skin happened pretty fast. I'm just getting back on HRT after surgery and it took about a week for my skin to remember that it's smooth and pretty, not dry and nasty. This was subtle in the beginning too. I just slowly got less... manly I guess? There's also been some redistribution in where I carry my flesh in my face. It's subtle, but it makes me look more feminine.

 

Tragically, I suffer from alopecia so I can't tell you a darn thing about hair.

 

Hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
Taylor

Thanks for the responses so far. I realize it will take some time. More curious than anything, about people who may have experienced thing rather early on or later than usual.

 

1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

Within the first month, I was starting to notice changes: tingling in my breasts, softer skin.

 

It hasn't quite been a week yet, and some of it might be in my head, but over the weekend I did have a rather short tingling-itch in my chest. I also felt like my skin may have been a bit softer after my last shave, but it may have just been a closer shave that made it feel smoother.

 

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

A lot of it depends on age. You're 25, so you might not see much, or anything, in the way of hips. Breast tenderness was the first physical change I noticed. However, estridiol had been working dark magic on my brain before that. You'll find yourself more emotional first. It's subtle though, it sneaks up on you. Crying easier while consuming media for example.

 

Breasts are next. I'm not a good person to talk to about that. After about eighteen months I've got an A-Cup. I was a slow bloomer for puberty 1.0 too though, so I'm still holding out hope for a visit from the boob fairy.

 

Softer and clearer skin happened pretty fast. I'm just getting back on HRT after surgery and it took about a week for my skin to remember that it's smooth and pretty, not dry and nasty. This was subtle in the beginning too. I just slowly got less... manly I guess? 

 

 

Yeah. I know age can be a big factor. I'm glad I'm able to start transitioning now, at 25, than it being much later. Of course there is the part of me that wishes I would've realized things earlier in life, but it's not really productive to dwell on the past like that. (I would assume plenty of people here feel similarly about coming out, transitioning, etc.). Personally hips aren't really a big concern, a little shape would be nice... but not a big deal. I am kind of looking forward to the emotional stuff though, though I feel a bit weird for that.

 

Hope you do you your visit from the boob fairy though, Jackie.

Share this post


Link to post
Astrid
4 hours ago, Taylor said:

I know a lot of the changes don't really start until a few months in, especially the physical changes like fat redistribution and breast growth

 

I began HRT on Dec 4th, 2019, less than 3 months ago.  Everyone's timetable will vary.   Mine certainly did:  breast soreness began at 3 weeks, breast buds formed at 4 weeks, and tissue growth began in earnest.  I understand why my doctor said that growth usually doesn't begin until 3 to 6 months in (because that's the average response she sees in her patients).  As I've remarked elsewhere in other posts, I've actually reduced my patch size/daily dose to slow growth down, as I'm non-binary and don't have significant breast growth as a goal.  I'm a living experiment in whether, for me, I can continue with microdosing.  The coming 6 months or so will tell, I think.

 

Body hair (for example, on legs) is now smoother.  Chest hair isn't, because I'm at the stage where electrolysis has removed almost all of it 😊.

 

Since an initial flurry of questions (via the health portal for my HRT facility), I've personally found a less stressful approach for me is to chill a bit and not be super-anxious about every small little thing I might notice.  It will happen when it happens, if it happens.  I'm just happy that estradiol really IS addressing my dysphoria -- I now have positive developments that I can dwell on, even small ones, and that's a good thing!  And, yes, I cherish being more emotional, too!

 

Astrid

Share this post


Link to post
Susan R
8 hours ago, MaryMary said:

It took me about 1 or 2 months I think. If I remember well the first physical effect was the skin

 

8 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

Within the first month, I was starting to notice changes: tingling in my breasts, softer skin.

These were the very first things I felt and noticed too...I think my first noticeable effects started 3 weeks in before I knew something was changing inside.  The tingling sensation in the breast bud area happened almost simultaneously with the baby soft skin discovery.  I can remember the evening very clearly...I was really tired and I stretched my arms above my head and my bicep touched my cheek.  An unexpected thought hit me....”OMG! my skin is completely different.”  Both arms and shoulders had baby butt soft skin too.  The rest of my body followed suit by month 2 or 3.  It wasn’t even something I was really waiting for but it has been one of the best side effects I could ever imagine.  I would hate to have men’s skin again...especially now that my sweat doesn’t smell musky like a man’s anymore.  My wife loves that I don’t really have any noticeable smell these days.  I can’t say exactly when the change occurred but it was very early on that my wife noticed the difference...maybe 3 months into HRT.

 

Also early on (6 weeks to 2 months) there were changes were breast and libido related. My breasts, specifically my nipples, became sore to touch, very hard nip tips and some itching...then harder breast buds followed by growth. Which seemingly stops and starts still to this day (today is exactly 17 months HRT).

 

My libido dropped a bit which doesn’t bother me at all.  My libido no longer starts on its own...I have to consciously try to get the engine started with my mental stimulation and having my wife around helps too.

 

As others have mentioned, the facial changes probably happen next. For me maybe 2 months in but I first noticed I was looking a little more feminine in the face about 4 -5 months after starting.

 

Eventually, my feet, hands, and private parts started shrinking and upper body too as my weight started to redistribute to more feminine areas (thighs, butt shape, calves are smaller, arms are smaller, waist seems higher and smaller) ...maybe 5-6 months after starting.  My shoes dropped 2.5 sizes in US woman’s shoes.  I’m down to a size 9 - 9.5 now depending on the brand.  This change may have started 5-6 months in but may be continuing still. Don’t do what I did and go buy expensive shoes out the gate...I’d wait at least 6 months.  Many on HRT experience this especially if you drop a few pounds along the way.

 

Another interesting change is my wrist (and probably ankle) width.  My wrist thickness pre HRT was larger.  I had about a 1/2” from my thumb and middle finger when wrapping them around my wrist.  Now, I can easily touch the tips of my thumb and middle finger around each of my wrists.

 

My skin is much thinner now.  In the sauna, when it auto starts every 10 mins, my fingertips and toe tips get uncomfortably hot.  The same thing happens with very cold weather, my fingertips ache a bit if I am not wearing gloves. So there’s much more sensitivity in my extremities.

 

After about 8 months, body hair started becoming noticeably thinner everywhere.  Now, I have many areas that I no longer shave and a few areas only once in a blue moon because the hair is so light and thin.  My facial hair has not changed much in composition but I takes 3 days to get a noticeable amount of hair on my face (like 5 o'clock shadow). I have only let it grow out that much once though in the last year just to test it.  I still have to shave my face first thing every morning.

 

Another odd side effect I experienced is an eye color change.  I’m not sure when it happened...probably very slowly over the first year. My eye color pre HRT was dark blue grey now it’s a really bright blue.  My wife, daughters and several friends have noticed this change and commented on it.

 

Well that’s all The changes I can think of but there are others.  As you know and as others have pointed out...your age, dna, prescribed dose of HRT, etc...are different so don’t expect these exact same changes and the same timing but likely you’ll experience many of them at some time or another on your journey.

 

Good Luck,

Susan R🌷

 

Share this post


Link to post
Taylor

Thanks again for posting your experiences.

 

12 hours ago, Susan R said:

Eventually, my feet, hands, and private parts started shrinking and upper body too as my weight started to redistribute to more feminine areas (thighs, butt shape, calves are smaller, arms are smaller, waist seems higher and smaller) ...maybe 5-6 months after starting.  My shoes dropped 2.5 sizes in US woman’s shoes.  I’m down to a size 9 - 9.5 now depending on the brand.  This change may have started 5-6 months in but may be continuing still. Don’t do what I did and go buy expensive shoes out the gate...I’d wait at least 6 months.  Many on HRT experience this especially if you drop a few pounds along the way.

 

 

I am a bit intrigued by this. A lot of things I've read have said things like foot size won't change, though at the same time I have seen some say they will. I know I would like to shrink a bit (about size 12 mens, depending on the shoe) puts me a bit out of range of women's typical sizes. I don't expect enough of a change to drop to a common size, however it would be be nice to at least adjust into the a more workable size in women's (where options are so limited). That said, I don't see myself caring a ton about starting a shoe collection... but being able to get a couple of things would be nice.

 

Thanks,

Taylor

Share this post


Link to post
Susan R
49 minutes ago, Taylor said:

A lot of things I've read have said things like foot size won't change, though at the same time I have seen some say they will.

I attend several trans support groups.  Both are predominantly MtF groups.  Several women have mentioned this over the last year or so.  It’s not wishful thinking by any means.  I believe it’s a combination of weight loss from eating healthy, muscle mass decrease due to extremely low Testosterone, and the effect of thinning skin due to high levels of Estrogen.  My feet look completely different now in a much more feminine way.  My internal medicine endo told me last year after I brought it up that many of her MtF patients have seen this reduction in foot size.

 

Susan R🌷

Share this post


Link to post
Jackie C.

It's not dramatic by any means,  but yes I've lost about half a shoe size.  Of course that makes me a women's 13. Keeping in mind that I specifically started working out to keep from losing too much muscle mass and to keep myself from gaining too much weight from the HRT.

Then it was a certain amount of body pride because I wanted to look nice.

 

So yeah, half a shoe size. 

 

Hugs!

Share this post


Link to post
DeeDee

This is a really fascinating thread. Thanks for starting it Taylor :) I would be interested in the mental and emotional changes with HRT, was it immediate or did it take a while for your body to adjust not having T anymore?

Share this post


Link to post
MaryMary
47 minutes ago, DeeDee said:

This is a really fascinating thread. Thanks for starting it Taylor :) I would be interested in the mental and emotional changes with HRT, was it immediate or did it take a while for your body to adjust not having T anymore?

 

for me it took a couple of weeks to have the full mental effects. It's easy to not realize it's there depending on your personnality. It's also very controversial to even mention this IRL, lol All I can say it's that it's there. I mainly observed this in the beginning because of how my gut reaction to daily parenthood changed. To me it's really like a second puberty, it's the best way I can describe it. I remember having one on one meetings with my boss and being incapable of stopping myself from crying. It was totally unwanted and very far from the frozen/dissociated/cold me from the past.  Contrary to cis woman you have 0 experience with dealing with it so it can be surprising and I know that I was a little ... unstable... in the beginning. You do learn some tricks after a while to control your hormones.

Share this post


Link to post
MaryMary

the funny thing is that I could talk a lot about emotionnal changes but in my life this subject was so controversial and impossible to prove scientifically that I mostly kept all the mental/emotionnal changes to myself so far. I could talk a lot about it and it fascinate me but I feel that if you do that you often get a sceptical eye :D hahaha

Share this post


Link to post
KathyLauren
1 hour ago, DeeDee said:

I would be interested in the mental and emotional changes with HRT, was it immediate or did it take a while for your body to adjust not having T anymore?

 

It took me a while to notice the emotional changes, because they were really subtle.  I suspect they probably happened in the first week or two, but it took me longer than that to be aware of them.

 

Right now, I have been off my E for a week, due to upcoming surgery.  What I noticed coming off it (because I was looking for it) is that my emotions have gone "flat" and "heavy".  Sorry, I can't describe it any better than that.  I feel none of the lightness and joy that I have felt for the last three years.  This is what I felt pre-transition.  I know in my head that I am in a better place now, but for the time being, I don't feel it.

 

I presume that the change starting E happened in about the same time frame as stopping it: about a week, maybe two.

 

Regards,

Kathy

Share this post


Link to post
Taylor
2 hours ago, Susan R said:

I believe it’s a combination of weight loss from eating healthy, muscle mass decrease due to extremely low Testosterone, and the effect of thinning skin due to high levels of Estrogen.  My feet look completely different now in a much more feminine way.  My internal medicine endo told me last year after I brought it up that many of her MtF patients have seen this reduction in foot size.

 

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

It's not dramatic by any means,  but yes I've lost about half a shoe size.  Of course that makes me a women's 13. Keeping in mind that I specifically started working out to keep from losing too much muscle mass and to keep myself from gaining too much weight from the HRT.

Then it was a certain amount of body pride because I wanted to look nice.

 

So yeah, half a shoe size. 

 

It'll be hard to say until it happens, though if it has to do with weight loss and muscle mass, I'm not sure I'll lose all that much (I'm kind of a beanpole as it is). Though I will definitely keep in mind to exercise, more to prevent losing too much muscle mass.

 

1 hour ago, DeeDee said:

This is a really fascinating thread. Thanks for starting it Taylor :) I would be interested in the mental and emotional changes with HRT, was it immediate or did it take a while for your body to adjust not having T anymore?

 

I'm glad others find it interesting ^_^. Personally mental/emotional changes weren't immediate, sounds more or less the same for those who have shared so far. Though it does sound like it kicks in relatively early on (within the first month or so). The only possible experience I have with this so far is occasionally my eyes tear up a bit. It's far from crying. I don't really have any emotion (that I sense) attached to it, just a little wetness. Not even positive its related to HRT, but I don't recall it happening (at least not nearly this frequent) before.

 

I appreciate people contributing so much to this.

Thanks,

Taylor

Share this post


Link to post
Susan R
2 hours ago, MaryMary said:

I could talk a lot about it and it fascinate me but I feel that if you do that you often get a sceptical eye

This is very true.  There are changes that I don’t feel I can talk about because it is so subjective and unprovable.  Add the fact that everyone has a different experience to some degree and you have a recipe for doubt and possible ridicule from others.

 

1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

[Without E] emotions have gone "flat" and "heavy".  Sorry, I can't describe it any better than that.  I feel none of the lightness and joy that I have felt for the last three years.

Actually Kathy, this “lightness and joy” is a very good description of my general feeling while being on E.  Although prior to E (and medical transition), I was somewhat depressed and had a deep rooted anger that was present under it all.  Also, for someone my age, I had a high pre-transition T level (835ng/dL).  So being down at 17ng/dL now, I’ve noticed very little desire to compete to the death (lol) with others and even with myself like I once did.  That has reduced my overall stress immensely and has allowed me to stay calm in situations that normally would’ve had me raging.

 

Emotions are closer now to the surface with the exception of anger (I’m happy about that).  Some emotions like are less controllable as some have mentioned.  These new feelings make it easier for me to empathize, apologize and forgive others much easier now.  I like the new emotional me and so does my wife.  It works well with my personality.

 

Susan R🌷

Share this post


Link to post
Astrid
2 hours ago, Susan R said:

Actually Kathy, this “lightness and joy” is a very good description of my general feeling while being on E.  Although prior to E (and medical transition), I was somewhat depressed and had a deep rooted anger that was present under it all.  Also, for someone my age, I had a high pre-transition T level (835ng/dL).  So being down at 17ng/dL now, I’ve noticed very little desire to compete to the death (lol) with others and even with myself like I once did.  That has reduced my overall stress immensely and has allowed me to stay calm in situations that normally would’ve had me raging.

 

Emotions are closer now to the surface with the exception of anger (I’m happy about that).  Some emotions like are less controllable as some have mentioned.  These new feelings make it easier for me to empathize, apologize and forgive others much easier now.  I like the new emotional me and so does my wife.  It works well with my personality.

 

Susan R🌷

 

Thanks so much, Susan, for your personal experiences on this topic.  It very closely matches (and validates for me) what I've experienced, too:  a feeling of lightness and joy, a significant reduction in anger and stress, and increased empathy.  All very good things!

 

Hugs,

 

Astrid

Share this post


Link to post
Chrysalis

Good morning and what a good topic!

 

I began HRT just over 3 years ago. I wear Estradiol patches******mg w/ ****mg. Twice Weekly). As well, I've on a T Blocker for some time now.

 

My first recollection concerned how my heart reacted. On the first morning after filling the script, I applied a single **** patch and then went about drawing away at the computer. In very little time, my heart suddenly thought it was Ginger Baker and began the breakneck drum solo called 'Toad' from Cream's 'Wheels of Fire' album. I went into a sweaty panic over that! A number of medical people who seemed to have a less than positive views towards my gender aspiration had tormented me with tales of how HRT in a male bodied patient often leads to heart attacks. I do know one very opened minded nurse who, when I asked about this replied:

"So? Wouldn't you be willing to risk that to become the real you?"  

Obviously I survived quite nicely. 

 

I am in my 60's and was already becoming thin skinned from age; the estrogen has only enhanced that and now, if not careful, I'll peel like an onion. 

 

I don't recall when it began, but at some point I found myself waking up in the night and having to throw off the blankets and just lying there in a sweat and wondering what the heck. I'd read on line about the possibility of 'hot flashes' but thought that I might just be imagining things. I thought of Edith Bunker on 'All In The Family' going through the change and new that I wasn't as tragicomically daffy as she was. I have both sleep and emotional issues and was sure the problem came from there. 

Finally, at my therapist's one session, I suddenly felt flushed all over and asked if she'd turned up the heat? She looked at my strangely and simply said 'No'. However. She was staring at me as if though a microscope. 

(And btw: there are no thermostats in Providence exam cubes!)

I complained abut how hot it had all at once gotten and began unbuttoning my winter layers. My therapist's eyes smiled as her hand went up to cover her mouth. 

I glared back with watering eyes and in a cracking voice yelled: 

"This isn't funny!" (Expletive omitted.)

She removed her hand and with a laugh snapped back:

"Well, welcome!"

 

Chrysee

Edited by MaryEllen
Dosages removed per rule 13 of the community rules

Share this post


Link to post
Jackie C.
4 hours ago, Chrysalis said:

I don't recall when it began, but at some point I found myself waking up in the night and having to throw off the blankets and just lying there in a sweat and wondering what the heck. I'd read on line about the possibility of 'hot flashes' but thought that I might just be imagining things. I thought of Edith Bunker on 'All In The Family' going through the change and new that I wasn't as tragicomically daffy as she was. I have both sleep and emotional issues and was sure the problem came from there. 

Finally, at my therapist's one session, I suddenly felt flushed all over and asked if she'd turned up the heat? She looked at my strangely and simply said 'No'. However. She was staring at me as if though a microscope. 

(And btw: there are no thermostats in Providence exam cubes!)

I complained abut how hot it had all at once gotten and began unbuttoning my winter layers. My therapist's eyes smiled as her hand went up to cover her mouth. 

I glared back with watering eyes and in a cracking voice yelled: 

"This isn't funny!" (Expletive omitted.)

She removed her hand and with a laugh snapped back:

"Well, welcome!"

 

I am SO tired of the hot flashes. They didn't start until I'd been off HRT for about two weeks preparing for my bottom surgery. They're mostly at night but I sweat through EVERYTHING. I've been back on my regular dose for a week or so now, but it can take up to two months for hormone levels to normalize so...

 

At least my sweat doesn't have the smell it did before I started transitioning. If I was living in a cloud of the musky stuff, I'd probably die. At least I'd shower and do the laundry more.

 

Hugs!

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 102 Guests (See full list)

    • luke_b
    • Firenze
    • Petra Jane
    • Trisha
    • Ms Maddie
    • kelly sinclair
    • ToniTone
    • drago
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      70,406
    • Total Posts
      637,559
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      6,564
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Karen1973
    Newest Member
    Karen1973
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Chris Gabi
      Chris Gabi
    2. Lorry
      Lorry
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Hi everyone.   Weather has been great.  mid 80s but low humidity.  I've made a lot of progress on my boat.  I have one more patch to fill, final sand and power wash.  Then I can paint it and call it good for this year.  Of course something always breaks.  I am looking forward to sailing off into the sunrise.  Boating season can be a short summer.  Hurricane season begins in a month and a half so you really have to keep your eyes on the weather.  So no long sails.  Only day trips until November and then it gets chilly.   Willow
    • kelly sinclair
      Well  she stopped  buy didnt seem to be upset so I guess  we good .mite give some time before  shopping help .  Thank you kymmiel and brandibri 
    • Susan R
      This hit me like a lead ball. It nearly brought me to tears. My parents passed long ago but I would’ve hoped they would’ve responded to my ‘coming out’ in this exact way.  I love your mom...what a mom you have!  If your dad is anything like her, you are in good hands.  Thank you so much for sharing this...I needed that. Warmest Regards and congratulations, Susan R🌷
    • Jennifer T
      17 years ago I wrote this. I may have shared it here before. With the impending invasion of Iraq, I was in a funk where internal struggles were only beginning to come to light. I was only beginning to share my heart with a counselor, very tentatively, and the complexities of struggle, whether on the international scene or in a very personal level, were crashing in.   There is a ‘triple’ entendre in these 17 couplets that embraces my life.    “The Game”   With fevered brow and thoughts of war Redeeming time, a settled score;   Again she calls, panicked and strewn Her mind tormented, seeking too soon   What I cannot give. Yet in her state Seeks resolution, but can’t abate   The childhood games; one up on you, A repertoire played right on cue.   The phone still rings, forlorn at night I close my eyes, ignore the plight.   And yet my heart does yearn to see Her mind at rest, but can it be?   When life deals cards, we each our hand, And calls to play a final stand   It beckons, “call,” as time draws near and in its wake we loathe, we fear.   Knowing full well we cannot see What we cannot hold or cannot be;   That shade of loss, a fearful plight Someone of flesh of thought and sight   Whose vision clears and thoughts dispel; A game surreal, we seek to quell.   I touch the pad; a familiar tone It softly rings, “Noone at home.”   So for this night I lay to rest Resolve and dread of my own quest.   And with the morrow I pray to see A path more fair, a way to be   That light she needs, serene and calm; And play the game, a reasoned psalm.   But with weary heart and wounded soul And spoken truth my only goal   I pen these words, a hope to be Much more than my soliloquy.   -Jennifer T,  March 17, 2003.   It wasn’t until October, 2009 that I came out to my wife. It’s been roughly 11 years since then.  My how time has passed.   And here I still exist with ‘T’ at the helm.    Today, in light of our world’s current struggle, I find within myself that the old pain still thrives; that I still long to be so much more than I appear to be. But I believe I am doing as I must.   I will stay my course and pray to be beautiful in eternity.   Peace.
    • Erikka
      Good for you Traci Lynn. So glad it is progressing so far in a positive light. To be yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Just remember not everyone is accepting and there will be bumps in the road.  Pick the wars you can win and walk away from those you can’t.
    • TammyAnne
      Wow, congratulations Traci Lynn! That is remarkable progress - and bravery. I'm very impressed, and of course very pleased for you. That's such good news. TA
    • Traci Lynn
      In the last 3 days I have come out to my family and a coworker. My parents and sister live 2 states away, i have been putting off having "The talk" as I have no idea when I would next see them, but at 6 months into my transition I thought it is time. The first opportunity arose monday, my sister sent a birthday message to me, I texted back thanks love and miss you alot. When you get a chance call me I have something I need to tell you.  An hour or so later the phone rang and I mustered up my courage and answered. It went haltingly at first, most of you know how difficult it is to tell your loved ones something so life changing, and in tears I said after some gentle coaxing from her, how will you feel about your brother becoming your sister? I waited nervously for an answer, and what it might be. She responded simply, i know you have been unhappy for along time, and no matter what you do I will always love you as my brother and now my sister. She went on to say she will support me and anytime i need advice or just to talk about it call her anytime day or night cause I am always here for you.  That evening i had the talk again with my step sons, they live with us, 16 and 30. They both said it does change the way we feel and it must be a relief to get that off my chest. The oldest even said my friend Mattie has been transitioning for over 3 years and could probably answer alot of questions for you. The next evening was the one I dreaded most, My parents. My mom answered, and we exchanged a few pleasantries before she said whats wrong son. I had started to cry knowing what I must do. Before I tell you its nothing health related, financial, or relationship related. As I proceeded and tripped and started and stopped several times my mom said your trying to tell me your switching from male to female arent you! Its okay son, I will love you no matter what. Me and your dad, we only want your happiness. So have you decided on a name? I replied I will keep my name, it fits now. I won't go by my nickname anymore Trace, from now on its Tracyee Lynn only spelled Traci Lynn. That was my actual birth name.    Okay so the coworker conversation: Several weeks ago we had a training class for work, we were covering the questionaire for the census and the sex question came up. I work for the Census Bureau, anyhow there are two groups in the class, so the instruction say conflicting things. First it says sex either male or female based on your biological gender. Then a few sentences down it says however the individual identifies. The one group daid they were told only to do the first biological gender, our group was told how they identify. So a debate arose and everyone said things like some people identify as dinosaurs, some as objects. The strange thing was no one would say transgendered people. I wanted to say something/anything, but didnt want to out myself. So I remained silent, it bothered me for days and then weeks. So finally I contacted a coworker and talked to her about the whole incident and she remembered it, then she said wow that was like 3 weeks ago. It must have been important to you or something to still be thinking about that. I said in fact it is, i am one of those people. I started transitioning a few weeks before I started this job. She said look your secret is safe with me, and stop worrying, not everyone is as closed minded as alot of the people working here are. So in 4 days I have came out to alot of family and the co worker, so far all positively! I guess I am lucky, or luckiet than some. Thanks for listening! Traci  
    • Susan R
      It’s another beautiful day today here in the Pacific Northwest. I’m having my lunchtime coffee break and getting ready to head out for my walk soon.  Not much to do around the house now.  We’ve done so many small projects around the house that we’re taking a break from changing things around for the sake of “do something” to keep busy..LOL You know you’re in isolation when you look forward to your late afternoon therapy appointment as the major highlight of your day.  Oh, the wonderful times we live in...   Hope everyone’s in good spirits today, Susan R🌷
    • Jani
      Hi Drago.  If you are still concerned this is something to discuss with your dermatologist first to get this issue addressed correctly.     From all I've heard, going on testosterone can cause acne so again, talk to your doctor before you ask to start HRT.  They may have an answer for you.   Jani 
    • drago
      Hello everyone! I have a question because I'm a little bit concerned. I've always had bad skin with acne. Last year I got an allergic reaction and I ended up with a face full of pustules and cysts. My dermatologist prescribed me Accutane. I've been on Accutane for 9 months. Now, it's 4 months after this treatment, and I have some relapses but they are still rare, small and disappear fastly. I'm 22 and I want to start hormone therapy, but I'm afraid I may experience the same horror again and don't know what I can do about that. So my question is - Has anyone else experienced such a problem?  Any information will be very helpful. Thank you!
    • Jani
      And Denise too since she was the OP.     Jani
    • Jani
      I'm sure you are feeling much better by now!!    Jani
    • Timber Wolf
      Good morning everyone,🦄   Happy birthday Lorry!🎂 Happy birthday Chris Gabi!🎂 Hope you have a beautiful day!   Lots of love, Timber Wolf 🐾
    • Jani
      When it happens you'll be thrilled.  It's amazing to hold a baby again after all those years.  They do grow fast though!
    • Carolyn Marie
      Still waiting for my first grandchild.    Carolyn Marie
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...