Hello! Parent of F to M teen!

[QuitaAnita]

Hey everyone,

 

First off, thank you for allowing me to join. I’m a mama of three kiddos and our oldest came out to us almost two years ago as pansexual. Me having a brother who is gay and other family members and friends in the LGBTQ+ community was very accepting. About a year later our son came out and told us he felt like he was in the wrong body. My husband and I have been very accepting of my son and I am just blessed that he was able to come out to us and finally be himself. He’s come out to most of our family and so far we haven’t had anyone being negative about him becoming his true self, but we have had a lot of family and friends shocked because as a kid (he will be 15 in August) we didn’t see any signs of my then daughter, feeling like she was in the wrong body, but I guess that’s the thing, sometimes you don’t know until something inside you clicks and you realize who you’re meant to be. We love our son. I have to admit, the only thing about him coming out to us that I was upset with was being upset towards myself. This amazing kid who is selfless and tries to live up to a standard of who he thought we wanted him to be, had to go through all of this by himself. I honestly felt like a crappy mom, both my husband and myself just felt bad for not noticing. It’s been a long journey and I’m just glad I found this forum to have others to talk to, vent with and learn from. 

[Susan R]

2 hours ago, QuitaAnita said:

We love our son. I have to admit, the only thing about him coming out to us that I was upset with was being upset towards myself. This amazing kid who is selfless and tries to live up to a standard of who he thought we wanted him to be, had to go through all of this by himself. I honestly felt like a crappy mom, both my husband and myself just felt bad for not noticing. 

Welcome QuitaAnita, I am so glad you decided to give us a try here. I truly hope you find love and support here. We are here for that purpose among others.

 

You don’t need to beat yourself up for not seeing this.  As a defense mechanism we (trans people like myself) learn very well how to hide behind invisible walls and only let those around us see what they expect.  Your son sounds like an incredible person and it is so helpful for him to have your support.  Whether he has mentioned it or not, I can tell you that it means the world to him having you there in his corner.

 

Feel free to talk, vent and learn.  There are so many good people here that I’m sure you’ll get the best of the best support when you need it.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Firenze]

Welcome Quita. It's always nice to hear stories of family acceptance with LGBT people. If you have any questions in regards to your son's transition, or questions in general, I'm sure there's going to be someone here who has been through similar things who can guide you both along. 

 

Hope to see you around. 

[Jackie C.]

Seriously, what @Susan R said. We hide very well. Especially when we're young. Between not wanting to disappoint parents and not wanting to get thrashed by the other children, trans kids get very, very good at burying who they are. On the other hand, your child felt she was safe to come out to her family. That's huge. Give yourself a pat on the back for that and maybe another one for accepting her for who she is. Not as many parents as you'd think are capable of doing that.

 

Welcome to the family @QuitaAnita. I hope you can find your answers here. We'll do our best to help as much as we can.

 

Hugs!

[TommieAnne]

Welcome QuintaAnita. I hope you will feel at home here in this warm, accepting and caring place.

TA

[ShawnaLeigh]

Another one to chime in on hiding.  I hid for over 40 years.  It was terrible but I did it out of fear and anxiety over rejection.  
I truly wish I had been brave enough to come out and fight for it at your sons age.  That’s the age I decided to push it down and hide.  
It warms my heart knowing their are parents who understand and support their children in this way.  
So yes you are in a wonderful place to learn and ask questions and it is a Very supportive family friendly place so your children are just as welcome.  We have several young folks here.  
Hope to hear more from you and your son!

[QuitaAnita]

Thank you all for the warm welcome and for the positive reassurance. This mama definitely needed to hear it. ❤️

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Quita Anita.  Thank you for your support of your son, and willingness to come here to learn more about him and what he's going through and how to support him.  He is blessed to have wonderful parents.  I hope you find all the info here that you need, and if you don't see it, please ask.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie