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Geneva

Being confronted by a abuser or dirty old men.

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Geneva

I am so sick and tired of men hitting on me thinking I am a cd for their fetishes.

I am 58 years old and still continue to have to face my demons because of my desire to be s free woman in society.

I have to turn to my friends for defense. 

Although I am capable of defending myself in certain situations I turn to my friends for defense against predators.

Just recently I was approached by a perv while shopping and he said, your hair is so beautiful. I cross dress to if you want to get together. I told him outright, I am not gay and not a cd although it may appear I am. I am a transgendered woman and I don't appreciate your comments.

He quickly apologized and said, " I am sorry ma'am" and escaped my presence.

As a result of his action I felt humiliated, degraded and less than a woman.

I went home and hacked my hair because it brought me shame and triggered the feelings I had from childhood.

When my foster father would have me dress up and entertain his drunk friends dancing before them.

My foster mother would try and comfort me she understood how I was trapped in a boys body.

She would allow me to be myself and help around the house along her side as a girl in a dress or wrapped in a towel like a dress.

He forced himself on me or they would they would encourage each other and laugh. Calling me sissy and if I didn't comply I got beat or given chores to hard for a child of five and six years old.

If I couldn't live up to the task I was grounded to my room and forbidden to come out until given time.

I have talked to a friend who said she understood but could not relate because men don't hit on her like he hit on me.

But she did remark for me hacking off my hair it looked really good. It brought a laugh out of me but I told her that was not my intentions of hacking my hair. But to get men to stop looking at me as a sex object for the satisfaction of their fetishes.

Sometimes and especially after that confrontation I wanted to kill myself again out of shame. But instead I just hacked my hair.

I was going to call the suicide line but didn't and went to bed crying myself to sleep.

I overcame and strengthened myself the next morning. Knowing when I got to work I would be in a safe place among friends who love me for who I am not what someones dark lusts desired.

I have among my friends at work and colleagues gays, straight, trans m-f and trans f-m. 

I shared with my f-m friend what happened. He helped me understand myself through the day and consoled with me. Geneva

 

 

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ShawnaLeigh

First let me welcome you to your new family.  A chosen family that will always listen and accept you for who you are.  There is so much love and support here as you will shortly learn and we truly care what happens to you and try so hard to help and support you.  Yes it is online but I swear I literally love a few girls here that have helped me so much.  I try to help others too which is therapeutic to me and my therapist agrees it has greatly improved my knowledge and empathy for myself and others. 

I can bet you are not alone in what is happening to you as this seems to be the case with anyone who joins us.  There are those here that have been there and done that and can help you through it.

 

I am sorry your childhood was as it was and it is a terrible thing to have to live through.  I am sure somehow it made you stronger inside if even just a little but the struggle we as trans face every day are all to real and some are very extreme.  Are dangers are very real as well and some folks have no idea what we face.

I am very happy to hear you have a job with such a diverse group who also totally understands the struggles too.  A group of peers in your same boat to lean on is invaluable.

 

I feel extremely guilty at times here as I seem to be in a fantasy land of total positive acceptance and support.  Like everyone (except my mother) has welcomed me with open arms and even compliments to my appearance and my character for being so brave and strong and they all seem genuinely happy for me.  I am talking well over 400 people to date with all my friends and family and folks I work with in a University and two to three hospitals as well.  I learned yesterday I am the ONLY trans person in the the hospital's I work in so I am becoming a bit of a celeberty of sorts which I am sure will die down soon (I hope) as I just want to be like everyone else.  I admit to enjoy the attention as I have a big ego but still,  but I have no one to talk to that truly understands me face to face other then my therapist who is FTM.  In this I envy you for having this group of people you can interface with daily if need be.

 

So ask away and join in.  Read and try to understand that others are going threw the same things as you.  You are accepted and valuable to all of us as we all stick together as a family should.

We are here for you.

Good Luck! 

 

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