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TransMex

Pictures of my face

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TransMex
Posted (edited)

Hello all. I'm not entirely sure this is the exact place for this topic but as passing is pretty much the crux of the matter once you've boiled it down, I think it should be. Haven't been here in a while so I'll recap some basic info for context.

 

I live in México and I am MtF trans. I've recently decided to get hrt but I'll have to travel to a different city to get it and I'm still figuring out how that's gonna work. I'm also pretty sure that I want to have at least some procedures done on my face no matter how good a result I get from hrt, mostly because the things that bother me most about my face (and there are a lot of them) are most likely not gonna change much with that. I mean, I have severe issues with my self image and almost all of them revolve around my face and how I don't feel I can pass having it, but that's mostly beside the point, as I am making an effort to not let those thoughts take control of me.

 

I want to think about the future and I want to look at least a little convincingly like a woman before transitioning full time (Hopefully about two years from now). I'd like to reiterate that passing is of particular import to me, as México can be pretty violent towards trans people, and I do live in a pretty conservative area that has rejected acceptance of lgbtq+ people rather unanimously multiple times in the past. I'm not saying I need to go full stealth to be safe, but I'd certainly feel a bit safer if people mostly didn't notice me say, during a short interaction. I've taken some pictures of my face so I can discuss aspects about it with others, perhaps eventually with a surgeon. Here's a link to the album on the image hosting site: https://imgur.com/a/n41lU3O

 

As you can see I am currently living as a man, as I feel that my face cannot be feminized too convincingly as it is. The album also contains pictures of how I wish my face looked like. When I lift my cheeks and reduce my chin even a little bit I feel a lot more hope, especially with the help of hormones and makeup. Now, I've been told by most people that my chin is not much of an issue, so I'm starting to forget about that, but I still feel like I'll at least need to get some work done on my nose and my brow to pass more easily. I'm also pretty sure about wanting the cheek thing. I'm not sure what procedure could get a result like what I want. Mid-face lift? Cheek implants? I've also been told that hrt will make my face look significantly different, such that it is very difficult to tell what the results of it could be.

 

I mean, I have a lot of questions but if I'm asking too many things at once, I'd at least like to hear what you all think about the following:

 

Do you think just the hrt could significantly help me pass with my facial structure?

 

What specific procedures would you recommend the most if I wanted to pass having these facial features?

 

Am I crazy for thinking I have a particularily hard to feminize face? 

 

Edited by VickySGV
Correction Per posting person.

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VickySGV

I have corrected the post per your good catch on it.  If you make a mistake on any post, contact one of the Admin or Moderator staff and we will be happy to help you out.  Your face looks pretty much the way mine did / does as a general issue middle of the Gender Spectrum face to me and with female clues in the way of hair and clothing, and feeling good, you will have no problem transitioning and being accepted as female.  Welcome to the forums and have fun.

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Sally Stone

First off, you aren't crazy worrying that your face can't be feminized.  I think we all worry about it.  Obviously, you will want to do what makes you most comfortable, so if you feel you need certain facial procedures, that is what you should do.  Facial feminization procedures can be extremely effective too, as long as you choose a reputable surgeon.  Surgery is expensive, but I'm sure you already know that.  HRT will certainly have some feminizing effects, but mostly on the skin and the distribution of soft tissues.  Unfortunately, it will not change any of the bone structures in your face, surgery is the only way to change those. 

 

Looking at your photos, I don't see a problem with you passing.  With the right hair style and makeup, I think you'd look pretty great right now, and those are changes you can accomplish yourself. Like Vicky said, you'll have no problem transitioning or being accepted as a woman.  I wish yo all the best, and welcome to Transgender Pulse.

 

Hugs,

 

Sally

 

  

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KathyLauren

I don't see any major issues in your photograph.  It's a little hard to be sure, because the angle and distance of the photo distort some features.  One thing I don't see is prominent brow ridges.  Your eyebrows are bushy, but that's just hair, and can be dealt with.  I don't see massive bony structures under them, so that's good.

 

The biggest masculine feature I see in the photograph is the frown.  Smiling will feminize your face a LOT. :)

 

Kathy

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TransMex
On 3/5/2020 at 11:22 PM, VickySGV said:

I have corrected the post per your good catch on it.  If you make a mistake on any post, contact one of the Admin or Moderator staff and we will be happy to help you out.  Your face looks pretty much the way mine did / does as a general issue middle of the Gender Spectrum face to me and with female clues in the way of hair and clothing, and feeling good, you will have no problem transitioning and being accepted as female.  Welcome to the forums and have fun.

Thank you, this is encouraging to hear. I've always felt my face is far into the male side of the spectrum, so I'll take the middle happily.

 

 

10 hours ago, Sally Stone said:

First off, you aren't crazy worrying that your face can't be feminized.  I think we all worry about it.  Obviously, you will want to do what makes you most comfortable, so if you feel you need certain facial procedures, that is what you should do.  Facial feminization procedures can be extremely effective too, as long as you choose a reputable surgeon.  Surgery is expensive, but I'm sure you already know that.  HRT will certainly have some feminizing effects, but mostly on the skin and the distribution of soft tissues.  Unfortunately, it will not change any of the bone structures in your face, surgery is the only way to change those. 

 

Looking at your photos, I don't see a problem with you passing.  With the right hair style and makeup, I think you'd look pretty great right now, and those are changes you can accomplish yourself. Like Vicky said, you'll have no problem transitioning or being accepted as a woman.  I wish yo all the best, and welcome to Transgender Pulse.

 

Hugs,

 

Sally

 

  

Yeah I'm starting to let go of my obsession with having a beautiful face but I'm still not at the point I can abandon the idea of getting surgery and feel fine about it. Maybe sometime in the future that'll no longer be the case. I'm glad you feel I'll have no problem passing, that is indeed encouraging. I do want to give makeup a try again after being on hrt for maybe a couple of months at least and see how I feel about it. I do know hrt won't change the bone structure in my face but some of the things that bother me the most are about the distribution of soft tissue, so I have some hope for that at least.

Thank you for your comment.

 

 

9 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

I don't see any major issues in your photograph.  It's a little hard to be sure, because the angle and distance of the photo distort some features.  One thing I don't see is prominent brow ridges.  Your eyebrows are bushy, but that's just hair, and can be dealt with.  I don't see massive bony structures under them, so that's good.

 

The biggest masculine feature I see in the photograph is the frown.  Smiling will feminize your face a LOT. :)

 

Kathy

Hello Kathy, thank you for sharing your opinion with me. I do worry a lot about major issues being there and I'm glad you don't see any. I used to try shaving my eyebrows while I was still trying to pass without hrt or surgery, which I think did make me feel a bit better about my brow ridge. Made it a bit less prominent at least. I do believe I'll try to do something like that again after some time on hrt.

 

Also, it is an unfortunate thing but my frown is kinda there by default. I believe it's a genetic thing, since my father also has a bit of a permanent frown. Not entirely sure if there's an easy solution to that, but always assumed I'd deal with it with surgery at some point. For now it's the reason I like wearing glasses. Hides it a little bit at least. 

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MetaLicious

I think you have beautiful eyes, and a bit of shaping of the eyebrows would really enhance that.  As Kathy said, a smile will really open up the feminine aspects of your face, especially since your lips have a fullness that would be the envy of many ciswomen!

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Maddie

I'm going through the same issues.  I'm 44 pre HRT and often feel there's no way I'm going to look feminine or attractive.  I sometimes accidentally catch a glimpse of my reflection in bad lightning and my self esteem crumbles into dust.  I have a thin face with sunken cheeks which I feel looks masculine old and ugly.  I'm hoping to start HRT this year and I'm told my face tissues will increase and change closer to that of a woman.  I so hope this will happen as I can't keep feeling like this.  I wish I started transitioning earlier but I didn't realise I was trans until relatively recently.  All this has given me plenty of tears.  

 

Maddie x x 

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Susan R
55 minutes ago, Maddie said:

I'm hoping to start HRT this year and I'm told my face tissues will increase and change closer to that of a woman.

Hi Maddie, Welcome!  You are still young compared to many here, including myself. I have met several trans men and woman here online and in my area over the last few years and the changes they have experienced have been dramatic in most cases.

 

You will likely see at least some facial changes.  Few trans who take initial pre-HRT pics look the same a year later regardless of makeup.  It’s really only one of the small benefits to starting HRT. Feeling better ‘inside’ can be an even better motivation..

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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Jani

@Maddie I agree with Susan, after I started HRT my face filled out again so I looked much younger and less grumpy old guy looking.  

 

I see you're new here.  Why don't you post and Introduction so we can meet you.

 

Cheers, Jani

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Maddie
On 3/16/2020 at 8:36 PM, Jani said:

I see you're new here.  Why don't you post and Introduction so we can meet you.

 

I don't know where to start with an introduction.  So much is happening. 

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Susan R
6 hours ago, Maddie said:

I don't know where to start with an introduction.  So much is happening. 

Hi Maddie, we’re here for you whenever you’re ready..no worries

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Maddie
4 hours ago, Susan R said:

Hi Maddie, we’re here for you whenever you’re ready..no worries

Thank You :)

 

Here's my experience.

 

I've had subtle signs I was different since I was in my teens.  Small things like While my friends wanted to be He-Man, Rambo etc, I wanted to be Cheetara from ThunderCats among other female characters.  I became very sensitive and empathic.  Growing my hair out and taking a long time styling it.  When playing a video game I had to be the female character i.e Chun Li in Street Fighter.  Things went dormant mostly in my 20s.  I was shamed for my personal effeminate expressions and also I wanted to date girls so I "manned" it up with cutting my hair short and started bodybuilding.  More recently I noticed most of my friends are women and many of them upon first meeting me thought I was gay.  They recognized my "effeminate ways" quoting one friend.  I never realized.  I met a wonderful transgender woman in 2018 and we became close friends.  Then in September 2019 my revelation occurred. 

One of my said lady friends (who at the time was convinced I was so gay) ha, took a snapchat photo of me using the sex swap filter.  I had long blond hair and a nice femm face.  The moment I saw it I immediately thought "I want to look like that" I was shocked by my reaction.  My Transgender bestie suggested I explore those feelings.  I started by wearing women's underwear and nail polish.  It felt natural and not out of place.  I decided to start growing my hair out and bought more clothes, ladies jeans and night tops.  I noticed my masculine muscular torso looked very wrong in those clothes so after some pondering I decided I wanted my body to be more feminine so I stopped training my upper body.  I think perhaps that was my first conscious encounter with dysphoria.  Over the next 2 months I went from mostly mens to wearing women's clothes full time.  My feelings became stronger and I realized I might be trans and began to seriously consider transitioning.   I started to feel very unhappy about my appearance, particularly my face, I began to worry I'd never look good.  I found it uncomfortable to see myself in the mirror.  All the anxiety about my manly looks have induced plenty of tears and depressive episodes.  It's not all bad, they are times when I feel I look feminine in some nice clothes and a girly hair style.  I feel great at these times and am so happy.  

I'm now waiting for my appointment at the gender identity clinic to hopefully start HRT.  I've never wanted something more and my life has changed so much in such a relatively short time....I hope I'm strong enough to see it through.  

 

Sorry for the essay, I'm a bit of a talker ha :) xx

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Susan R
1 hour ago, Maddie said:

Sorry for the essay, I'm a bit of a talker ha :) xx

Ah, this is the stuff we enjoy best.  Never say your sorry for writing too much.

 

Your journey has been a little shorter than mine but you and I have experienced many similar feelings about ourselves, reactions to wearing women’s clothing and becoming more feminine.

 

1 hour ago, Maddie said:

I decided I wanted my body to be more feminine so I stopped training my upper body.  I think perhaps that was my first conscious encounter with dysphoria.  Over the next 2 months I went from mostly mens to wearing women's clothes full time.

This exact thing happened to me too. I was in my early 20’s and heavily involved in bodybuilding.  My trans roommate said to me, “Why are you still body building and then dressing up on going out as a woman?” It was at that moment, I did what you did...I completely stopped working the upper body and starting running on the treadmill and only lifted for toning.  My weight dropped 40lbs of bulk muscle but I felt much more feminine in just 6 mos.  The bodybuilding was the cause of much dysphoria for me. Like yourself, I also started dressing full time (except at work and the gym). I think it was one part of myself fighting the other.

 

1 hour ago, Maddie said:

I found it uncomfortable to see myself in the mirror.  All the anxiety about my manly looks have induced plenty of tears and depressive episodes.

Same thing happened to me after a purge...not so much tears but I became very down about how male I looked. I also refused to have my picture taken at all as a male.  I never like the way I looked.

 

1 hour ago, Maddie said:

I'm now waiting for my appointment at the gender identity clinic to hopefully start HRT.  I've never wanted something more and my life has changed so much in such a relatively short time.

It may help with your gender dysphoria.  It has helped me considerably though make sure you’re ready for all the mental and physical changes to occur.  It’s one thing to read about them and something entirely different to live with them.  In my case, I welcomed these changes.

 

Thank you for sharing more about yourself,

Susan R🌷

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Maddie
On 3/18/2020 at 11:11 PM, Susan R said:

t may help with your gender dysphoria.  It has helped me considerably though make sure you’re ready for all the mental and physical changes to occur.  It’s one thing to read about them and something entirely different to live with them.  In my case, I welcomed these changes.

Yes you're right, to truly know is to experience it first hand.  I think I'll welcome the changes too because I never want to go back to how I was and I can't stay as I am.  So, the only way is forward, I can't wait frankly :)

 

Maddie x

 

 

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