Wife’s approval

[Emily michelle]

Well I went and got my first round of sperm frozen this morning and made a few phone calls about an endocrinologist, but no one is taking new patients right now so it appears I’m stuck in a waiting game for now.

[TommieAnne]

4 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

Well I went and got my first round of sperm frozen this morning and made a few phone calls about an endocrinologist, but no one is taking new patients right now so it appears I’m stuck in a waiting game for now.

That's where I'm at (waiting) too courtesy of the plague.

I'm told all my papers are in a file waiting to go forward to the endo. But I'm going to beg to get it pushed forward ASAP at my next appointment since this was supposed to start back in November.

TA

[Emily michelle]

Oh wow that’s a long wait since November I don’t think I would be able to hold it together that long. Is the endo just that busy or what was the hold up? If you don’t mind me asking 

[TommieAnne]

3 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

Oh wow that’s a long wait since November I don’t think I would be able to hold it together that long. Is the endo just that busy or what was the hold up? If you don’t mind me asking 

I'm going through the VA. The Endocrinologist retired, so paperwork had to be submitted to get me to an outside consultant. Then the Covid 19 thing hit, and I'm going to try not to go nuts waiting.

I understand that Planned Parenthood is still open a few days a week, so I'm going to ask for a possible referral there to get the ball rolling. Until then, I'm still waiting. But starting to feel very antsy.

TA

[Emily michelle]

I’m sorry to hear that I hope they will let you go to an outside consultant. I could only imagine how antsy your getting i would be well past that.  I looked at planned parenthood but they have pretty much outlawed them in the state of Missouri. So I’m stuck calling around to find a endocrinologist that’s taking patients. Then hopefully they take insurance. Problem is there I have my insurance with the union I’m in and I really don’t want to out myself to them because most likely I will be outed to my employer.

[TommieAnne]

11 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

I’m sorry to hear that I hope they will let you go to an outside consultant. I could only imagine how antsy your getting i would be well past that.  I looked at planned parenthood but they have pretty much outlawed them in the state of Missouri. So I’m stuck calling around to find a endocrinologist that’s taking patients. Then hopefully they take insurance. Problem is there I have my insurance with the union I’m in and I really don’t want to out myself to them because most likely I will be outed to my employer.

EM, that sounds like a rock and a hard place. Sorry to hear.

Hope that resolves in a timely fashion for you.

I'm sure myou situation will resolve at some point, I just hate the long wait.

TA

[Emily michelle]

The waiting is the worst part. I get antsy just because I finally realized who I am and I just want to get the ball rolling lol. My wife and therapist say I’m progressing very fast but it just seems like I’m moving at a snails pace. Maybe I need to stop and smell the roses.

[Maid In Bedlam]

37 minutes ago, Emily michelle said:

 Maybe I need to stop and smell the roses.

 

Im guessing you have a waiting list?

 

Fortunatly you dont live in the UK we have a 2 year plus waiting list before an intial appoiment. then ,maybe another Six months before you can even start to be considered for hormones. So stopping and smelling the roses is not negotiable here.

 

But then again in a way its a good thing. If your having any doubts. Some people say its to long. But personally i think its about right. Remember taking hormones is a life changing desion and not to be embarked on a whim

 

This is the waiting times in England

 

ENGLAND

Charing Cross/Tavistock and Portman (London): 30+ months

Newcastle: 26 months

Sheffield: 20+ months

Exeter (The Laurels): 34 months indefinite delays for new referrals, and those on the current wait list (note that there’s an additional waiting list of at least 12 months to see a doctor: the initial appointment is with a psychotherapist, who cannot sign off on any treatment).

Daventry: 40 months

Nottingham: 36 months

Leeds: 30 months (initial screening about 3 months into this wait)

Tavistock and Portman under 18s clinic (London): 22-26 months

 

So we have no choice unless we go private which would cost a small fortune.

 

Im just so glad i did all mine when i did as my waiting time was just 14 months about 6 years ago

[ShawnaLeigh]

Oh yes I get the fast pace vs snails pace feeling placed upon you by your wife and therapist..

Early after I had come out to my wife I was trying to explain what it all was to her and how things will go.  I had no clue myself what it all was at the point but was trying to give her "something" to go on.  Unfortunately for me she took everything I said as written in stone.

I explained it could be a year before I am ready to present full female or HRT does this or that at this time, etc.  

I tried to explain as I understood things based on generic time lines off the internet.  I had no clue.

Fast forward to now and I was constantly under the gun to explain why I said it would not be for XXX amount of time to do this or that and the next week I am ready to do XXX.  It drove her nuts and she kept accusing me of going against whatever agreements we had put in place to deal with this transition.  I felt bad but what's a TGirl to do.

The thing that is difficult is she deals in facts, spread sheets and numbers. Black and White info.

As you know a trans person lives in the Grey when it comes to understand ones self and doing anything about it.  I had to explain to her the sources of my original info and how things really are for me now.  She understands but it still drives her crazy she can not get a solid time line out of me.  

Its been a struggle.

 

[Emily michelle]

Wow that’s an extremely long time in the Uk I don’t know if I could wait that long a lot of my dysphoria comes from I feel like I’m not moving fast enough and I really am.

when I first come out I told my wife I didn’t want to start hrt until she was at least 2 months pregnant. At that time I thought I could do it but as things keep going I become more and more uncomfortable with myself to the point for my sanity I need to start hrt. My emotions get the best of me mostly because I’m actually expressing my emotions. Before I kept them bottled up and that caused my break  down after that I have no way to hide it. We came to the compromise of freezing my sperm. Since now we are going to put the ivf treatments off till July or august. 
I also wanted to get moving on hrt so I can be a lot more comfortable in myself by the time a baby comes because it’s not fair for my wife or baby to have to see me so uncomfortable and not be able to function.

[Emily michelle]

Well I have bad news now a doctor just called my insurance company and they told the doctor they will not cover hormone therapy so I guess I’m done for.

[Jackie C.]

Even without the insurance, HRT isn't that expensive. Both my drugs without insurance come to about $60 (my insurance pays for half at best) a month. I don't know about the doctor's visits, but the drugs themselves aren't too bad.

 

Hugs!

[Emily michelle]

35 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

Even without the insurance, HRT isn't that expensive. Both my drugs without insurance come to about $60 (my insurance pays for half at best) a month. I don't know about the doctor's visits, but the drugs themselves aren't too bad.

 

Hugs!

That makes me feel better I can deal with that I will just have to work more. I know I cannot continue with out them. Now I hope my insurance company won’t out me to my union then my employer