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I hate being the Man.


ShawnaLeigh

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So yesterday was a trial for me with another incident that posted in another forum just a few minutes ago.  

To compound that we had some nasty wet and windy weather and of course the power gets knocked out.  Its up to me to get the generator running and power swapped over but it was not having it yesterday.  I fought with the stupid thing for an hour. I got dirty and wet and I even broke a dang nail!!!  I mean bad.  Right up to my freakin' elbow it felt like.

So I go in to admit defeat and my wife is brow beating me and dropping nasty comments about not having it ready ahead of time, yadda-yadda-yadda.  She has no idea I had just dealt with a creep online that fired me up.  I'm at a breaking point but I say nothing.  Dripping wet and freezing since it was only 33*F outside and who knows what the wind chill was.  (Deep breathes)

I truly hate having to still do all the guy things I once took on in this marriage.  Yes I have been a technician for many years and I know a lot of things and how to fix a lot of things but gasoline engines were not in my bag of knowledge.  

Then a tree falls across our driveway.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!

You guest it.  I cant get the chain saw stated. OOOoooooo MY GOD!  I throw it down the bank.  (Its still down there-lol)

I go get a chain and hook on to the tree to try and least pull it away to one side so we can at least get out of our driveway.  This took way longer the it should. I'm freezing and at tears I am so frustrated.   

NO HELP FROM THE WIFE.

Then she asks me what's wrong after I come in.

 

OMG my afternoon sucked.

I went to bed early and literally cried I was so frustrated and upset with it all.

I feel better today though.

 

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Shawna, as I sit in brilliant spring sunshine with the birds singing, I feel pangs of mild regret reading this, ? but I would not swap days with you at all.?  I had a friend who always used to quote at me, "some days you're the car and some days you're the fly on the windscreen." I hope today goes better for you and that you get to be the car for any potential issues. My practiacl skills go as far as having a camping stove and knowing where the candles are in case of a power cut, but I would never have attempted fixing a generator.

 

 

 

Most importantly...

 

RIP nail ? 

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38 minutes ago, DeeDee said:

Most importantly...

 

RIP nail ? 

Thankyou.  This is what brought on the tears yesterday.  LOL

 

 

I am proud to be able to do a lot of things I can do.  When out on my own I can take care of a lot of things and save money.  But that does not mean I want to do them nor be the only one to do them.  

Stupid simple things like I want someone to go wipe and scrap my windshield when its covered in snow and ice.  I want someone else to drag the garage down the curb at 4am in freezing weather  Things anyone can do but normally falls to the man of the house to take care of.  

I so need a man in my life.  LOL

 

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  • Forum Moderator

I know the feeling! I still love a technical challenge but I saw the future when I began learning programming and saw it as just fiddling figure and not getting dirty hands. I remember my teens when I actually started collecting tools such that I could even make bike parts, and dreamed of building an engine from scratch. That dream went and reality pushed me to electronics.

 

It's some time now since I did more than check the oil and adjust tyre pressure. My one and only experience with a chainsaw was - no more - who would ever create a device to deliberatly cover you in sawdust and pour out clouds of smoke.

 

Yes - Being technically minded and an engineer I know I could attempt to fix most anything, but, it's not me. I am the only one in our house that can though.

 

Tracy

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39 minutes ago, tracy_j said:

I am the only one in our house that can though.

I think I am doomed to be too.  LOL

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Wow I’m sorry about your day. I always said somedays it doesn’t pay to get out of bed haha! I wish I actually had nails to break mine are absolutely horrible.

Its kind of funny I fix things for a living and can fix most anything if I want to, but if it’s one thing I hate working on is small gas engines they just drive me fruit. Working on something in the cold rain is just miserable. I even went as far as making sure my lawn mower was a diesel just so I could avoid gas haha. If I ever lose power long enough to need a generator I just back the service truck up to the house there’s a 400 amp diesel welder on it lol. I hope you have a better day.

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I've always been the fixit person in our house (one that i built 34 years ago).  Surgery, HRT and 71 years makes that more difficult  .   I guess i'm just a butch chick.  When i first transitioned i think "male" work bothered me but as time passes i'm enjoying being myself, wearing gloves as i work and getting pretty when i leave the farm.  My 70 year old wife has MS and is a wheelchair so i can't expect her to do "heavy work".  It's a good thing that i enjoy that feeling of success when a job is done.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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38 minutes ago, Charlize said:

It's a good thing that i enjoy that feeling of success when a job is done.  

Exactly   Success.  LOL

I had little of that yesterday and was berated to boot.

I agree though, like I said.  I am thankful to have the knowledge just don't want to be "expected" to be the one to do it.  Especially in a failing marriage where I am being slowly moved out one day.  No drive for me ya know.  LOL

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I'm just glad you didn't grab the axe and go after the downed tree that way, which is what I would probably have done.

Sorry about your nail. I have to keep mine short playing classical guitar.

And while I have a set of tools, heaven help us all if I attempt to repair something. It will require a professional to redo it most of the time. Unless it involves painting it. Because I can for sure paint.

TA

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4 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

NO HELP FROM THE WIFE.

Unfortunately it seems once household roles are set they are hard to change.  Hang in there as there is no greater feeling than one of self sufficiency.

 

Jani

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30 minutes ago, Jani said:

there is no greater feeling than one of self sufficiency.

Especially in an apocalypse.  

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I hear ya. It feels so invalidating being expected to do these things in these moments. I feel like I've gotten softer myself. My muscles have certainly gotten weaker. I have always been timid with gas powered tools or power tools with alot of vibration. 

 

Anyway, it's always nice when it's done and you can clean up, freshen up and get back to girl mode... 

 

~Toni

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6 hours ago, Jani said:

Unfortunately it seems once household roles are set they are hard to change.  Hang in there as there is no greater feeling than one of self sufficiency.

Wise words from a wise woman.  Yes, this is the case in our household too.  Apparently, I forgot to negotiate this change in household roles when coming out....too late now.  Sure, it’d be nice for my wife to do more of my traditional male duties around the house but I realize it’s not practical at our ages. I do those things easier, faster and usually do them correctly the first time...lol

 

10 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I got dirty and wet and I even broke a dang nail!!!

I feel for you...especially these day with no salon to fix you up in a snap.  We’ve all been there...keep your head up, hon!


My Best,

Susan R?

 

 

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I'm sorry you had such a lousy, rotten, no good day @ShawnaLeigh!

 

Susan and I do what we can but... I'm helpless at household repair stuff. I can troubleshoot electronics and that's about it. She's actually more capable in a lot of areas than I am. I mostly just know who to call for help.

 

I'm not going to last long when civilization finally cracks, am I?

 

Hugs!

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On 3/30/2020 at 5:35 AM, ShawnaLeigh said:

I cant get the chain saw stated. OOOoooooo MY GOD!  I throw it down the bank.  (Its still down there-lol).

I have never, not even once, been able to start any small engine that did not have a push-button starting mechanism.  Their mere existence taunts me.  I am sorry you had such a craptastic day, but even sorrier that it had to involve one of those accursed two-stroke engines!

 

And most of all, I am sorry about the nail.  I blame the chainsaw, even if it wasn't there when it happened.  It knows what it did, and that's why it is still in the ditch!

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I am in the same boat as Metalicous… But I did once boil a egg...not sure if that then same thing. Something my first boss used to say to me..Alex -crap- is always to happen until it done,"

much lv

 

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8 hours ago, MetaLicious said:

I have never, not even once, been able to start any small engine that did not have a push-button starting mechanism.  Their mere existence taunts me.  I am sorry you had such a craptastic day, but even sorrier that it had to involve one of those accursed two-stroke engines!

 

And most of all, I am sorry about the nail.  I blame the chainsaw, even if it wasn't there when it happened.  It knows what it did, and that's why it is still in the ditch!

Yes I was at an absolute limit that day and I have never been a small enigine guy and Im definitely not as a women.  I am mush weaker then before so pull starting anything is impossible now for me. 

I suppose future small engine purchases with include electric start and a man to run it.  LOL

 

Yes That som-bitch is still sitting in the ditch thinking about what it did.  LOL

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3 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Yes I was at an absolute limit that day and I have never been a small enigine guy and Im definitely not as a women.  I am mush weaker then before so pull starting anything is impossible now for me. 

I suppose future small engine purchases with include electric start and a man to run it.  LOL

 

Yes That som-bitch is still sitting in the ditch thinking about what it did.  LOL

This is the reason I have an electric, battery powered chainsaw. Small gasoline engines are the devil!

TA

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