Transphobic coworkers

[Emily michelle]

I know I still have a while till I come out at work, but I’m afraid that time will be here before I know it. My issue is my coworkers I’m a heavy equipment mechanic that works in rock quarries and underground mines. 99% of the workers are male and they are your typical male with all of their comments and what not. Several have proven the are transphobic by there comments and the pictures the take of people to make fun of them which is very sad they do this. 
I guess the question I’m asking what can I do about this and help myself prepare for what will happen when I do come out. Even my boss made the comment jokingly this morning saying I need to cut my hair because I look gay. I just laughed it off at the time. But really I wanted to crawl in a ball and cry. By the way my hair is still very short. I’m sorry it’s a lot to post but I’m just trying to wrap my head around all this

 

hugs

Emily

[Jackie C.]

Fortunately, some guys act like that to "fit in" when they're in a space where they think nobody could possibly be offended. Those guys change their tune when they find out that they're speaking out against someone who is present. Some of them even change their mind when they realize that someone they know and like is part of the aforementioned group.

 

Unfortunately, some of them don't and others double-down because they don't want to be seen as "other."

 

I'm thinking your boss is going to be a problem because seriously, how is "long hair" gay?

 

I don't know what the laws are like in Missouri. I know you can be fired here for being trans. Honestly, we're a "Right to Work" state, so we can be fired for any reason or no reason at all. In your shoes I'd make sure that I knew what my rights were in the face of workplace discrimination. The answer to that might be, "Have another job lined up."

If you're union, I'd talk to my union rep and see what they have to say about it. Sometimes we lose our jobs because of who we are. It's terrible, but in most of the United States it's legal.

 

Hugs!

[Susan R]

4 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

I guess the question I’m asking what can I do about this and help myself prepare for what will happen when I do come out.

Hi Emily, That’s a hard work environment to look for acceptance but it doesn’t mean it won’t work out.  @Jackie C. is right though, you need to know your states rights and protections before you move forward on this.

Heres a quick link for that

 

If I was about to come out in that environment and it turned out to be a safe state to do so, I would start by getting the top boss and asking if you could talk to them after work where there would be no interruptions.  If accepting and will work with you, get their advice how to come out to everyone else.  To see if you can drum up any support for your cause, I’d also be trying to gain a few allies...co-workers that you think might be ok with your coming out. If you let a few of them know first and they accept you it may give you added confidence when telling the rest of the crew.  Either way though, it’s sort of a crapshoot. You can’t predict how mature or immature people will react.  Be prepared for the worst in any case and I would wait until the pandemic ramps down a bit.  Jobs may be harder to find for awhile.

My Best,

Susan R?

 

[Emily michelle]

I would like to think some would be ok with it, but I’m afraid there will be more that aren’t ok with it and make fun of me or whatever else they do.

 

missouri is not a right to work state. So I’m lucky there but there are no protection for transgender people. I am union so I would hope my union would help protect me, but there is no guarantees there either. I would like to think they will still keep me. Not to toot my own horn but I’m a good mechanic and mechanics are getting harder to find these days. I would hate to have to find a new job because I like where I’m at. This place has its perks like a company truck and the pay is good. All I know is it will be interesting haha.

[Emily michelle]

As of right now I plan on talking to the hr department at my company, and the business agent with my union. My only issue with the hr department is one of the department heads is also the safety department head and he is interesting to say the least and not in a good way. I don’t plan on saying anything until I have problems passing as a male and by that time we will be so busy they couldn’t afford to find someone to replace me.

[Susan R]

32 minutes ago, Emily michelle said:

My only issue with the hr department is one of the department heads is also the safety department head and he is interesting to say the least and not in a good way.

Contacting the HR dept. seems like it might be an even a better idea if that dept. head was more reliable. HR knows the company policies which might be more supportive than you know.  Is there anyone else in that dept. that you can contact first to get this information?

[Emily michelle]

Yes there is my plan was to get ahold of that first and see what they have to say. This won’t happen for a while I’m just trying to get some kind of plan and have it somewhat thought out.

[Jani]

Just remember the role of the HR department is NOT to protect the employee but to protect the company.  

[Emily michelle]

Yes unfortunately I’m aware of that it will get very interesting. I’m afraid the interesting will not be a good thing, but who knows maybe it will work out just fine I can always hope it will work out.

[Emily michelle]

Jani is 100% right hr is to protect the company. We will see what happens weather they like it or not i have to be me. I know for sure being myself and taking pride in me has to come first if I go back in my shell I don’t think I’d make it a year.

[Denisenj]

Emily, you're between a rock and a hard place, no pun intended. Yeah I've been in conversations with guys that made comments about people like us that were negative what the hell is wrong with us we're not really women. The sly remarks the transphobic and homophobic slurs. I would stick up for transgendered people to a point I said hey listen if it makes them happy leave me alone are they bothering you. Sometimes I'll just sit there and listen to the rhetoric. Oh yes you do working in a male-dominated society on your back underneath of some of this heavy equipment dirt in your eyes hopefully wearing safety glasses. Currently my job has me out with pay for me making a statement over the phone I was overheard and I was just venting. Is younger guy wanted my hours for overtime ,he's already working 50 to 60 hours a pay. Overtime now but he's greedy. So he turn Me in and told them I wanted to hurt myself.I don't want to hurt myself I was just mad that I owe thousands of dollars into the federal and state this year because the government didn't take enough out of my pension. I tell my accountant I should just stick a gun to my head I can't win for losing... This was February 25th and now I'm out of work with administrative leave pay. Do I really want to go back there no. I work with a bunch of jerks and so hostile working environment. My boss allows  it to happen because he's spineless and won't confront anybody.There's a couple guys that could spit in his face and kick him in the balls and he would just say bye Jules see you tomorrow.  And I work in a state university in a heating plant. They don't know what to do with me if they fire me they need a reason I had to undergo a fit for duty evaluation from a state authorized psychiatrist. Yeah and I admitted  to him I cross-dressed and he couldn't understand why. I told him it made me feel good he goes why. My response was why do people put on that virtual reality masks and pretender  their Michael Jordan dunking the ball 10 feet in the air or driving a NASCAR why. Why do people play video games I pick up different weapons and kill people why. He mentioned to one of my counselors that he felt that I had a personality disorder. he also mentions to me that A co-worker said I was going to sabotage and blow up the heating plant on the campus of a universityI hope this University uses as a reason to let me go cuz I'm not going to have a vested pension there and the people I work with are all backstabbers and they'd fabricate stories just to make me look bad so with that said you have a situation going on.3 days after I left one of the co-worker said I want to sabotage and blow up the heating plant. Now this is a campus where students walk within 60 ft of this building ,would you consider that a terroristic threat. So I got mad I gave them the number to the FBI .I wanted them to investigate who said this and when they heard me say this. You're looking at 15 years in Federal prison for making a terroristic threat. So I told HR now I'm in fear for my welfare coming back and  there they're looking into the who said it and when they heard me say it the alleged statement. So I guess we all have our issues in life. Good luck at least I'm getting paid and I'm not using my sick or vacation time.

[Emily michelle]

Wow that’s ridiculous people just need to learn to do there job and go home. There is one thing I don’t deal with at work is drama. I pretty gave myself the name crabby I just act crabby around certain people and they avoid me it usually works most of the time. It’s sad I have to do that if not I will lose what is left of my sanity. My old version as pretty much a loner but Emily is a little more social able.