Is it possible to find a significant other before transitioning?

[Gender Phoenix]

I want to put myself out there and try to find some one,

But I've not even began hormones yet,

I'm seeing a therapist now with hopes of getting on them some day.

 

I fear trying to find some one now, though I long for romance because I'm afraid of some one falling for me as I am now and not who I may become in the future.

[Charlize]

The best thing i can suggest is honesty at the start of any relationship.  One of you attractions may well be that you are considering transition.  I certainly would not hesitate to date if you keep that in mind, especially the honesty.  

Nothing to loose and a great deal to possibly gain.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Maid In Bedlam]

Hunny I will say this Honesty is always the best way forward.

If you planning on transitioning after you get seriously involved with anyone. there are so many relationships fall by the wayside because of one of the two not disclosing something beforehand.

I met my man while I was in transition and we are still together after five years. It wasn't so hard and it paid dividends.

If someone rejects you after you have told them of your possible intentions then they just wasn't the right person for you.

Our relationship is based on Love, Honesty and a desire for each other.  and it hasn't stopped working for me or him across the ages we have been together.

I intend to stay with my partner till my end of days because of the above.

 

So yes get out there and date. By also bear in mind if you do start hormones your attaction for the person you meet before transition may not be the same after transition. Some do change like me and some dont. Always remember that those mind altering drugs may have a profound effect on what you desire personally.

 

Love may be a strong bond but Hormones can trump it.

[LaurenTgurl]

Stay single. No drama that way. Or.  Transition then find someone. 

Pets help loneliness!

[JustineM]

Anything is possible. As the others have said be open and honest. 

[Maid In Bedlam]

6 hours ago, LaurenTgurl said:

Stay single. No drama that way.

 

Its a wonderful concept. But many of us crave the warmth of another human being by our side.

 

I know i do and i couldnt bare to be alone in the world.

 

yes another person in your life can be full of drama. hense why you choose your potentail partner wisely.

 

I was actually scared stiff of being left alone.

[Rorelai]

I'd always recommend finding comfort in your own company before trying to fill that role with others. Very early in my transition I started dating/hooking up with a lot of people to find validation, and I ended up in some less than comfortable situations. It's easy to think the only place that you'll find your worth is with a partner, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Learn to love yourself and who you are and it'll be so much easier to find someone that will love every part of yourself. In the meantime, developing a solid support network of friends and family will help you feel loved and stave off some of the loneliness you're feeling. 

[Heather Shay]

When I went through a divorce about 35 years ago - I tried so hard to find someone to love and when I finally gave up and worked on loving myself and rebuilding ME a wonderful woman was drawn to me. I think if you take care of you - as the Christian thing about "love your neighbor as yourself" I finally figured out I had to love myself first - because if you don't you give give your neighbor what you don't have. Be kind to yourself and at peace and eventually you'll draw a significant other who is worthy of you.

Shay

[Maddee]

Hoping so, but not lonely or in a hurry.

 

I'm going through slow changes reawakening my attraction for others. Restoring a forgotten longing for intimacy.
Between HRT, self care, and new happiness, I'm noticing increased attention from both men and women.  People are wanting to spend time with me.  My mind has changed enough I could be drawn in further....

 

...and if not, I am feeling closer to animals and am taking in a 2nd kitty needing love...

 

This is a better reality than I used to know.  Thank you God.

 

 

[Heather Shay]

you are on your way... oncw i bottomed out and realized i need to love myself before i could love others i think the aura of that drew others to me and things got better and thank god for that or i am certain i would no longer be on planet earth. i am so glad to hear your progress. 

mental hugs,

Shay (Heather)

[SydneyAngel]

Honestly anything is possible. Lonelyness is very painful. I have dated women without telling them they was trans because I still pass as male even though I’m trying to go the other way. They always seem to find either they find something or see my drivers license. No one can judge you for wanted to have a romantic connection chances are your potential partner is seeking the same 

[Elizabeth Star]

I have to say be up-front and honest about it. I wasn't and it almost destroyed my marriage. But really depends what your looking for in a relationship. finding that person who likes and wants to be with you regardless of your state of transition is an amazing thing.

[Heather Shay]

@ElizabethStar wise words....i was in burdening so long it is hard to be honest. My first marriage broke up and I have been afraid of abandonment ever since. My second marriage happened when I stopped trying to make a relationship to happen. 27 years down the road I was able to tell my wife and I know she is struggling with it and it is so hard to honest with everything after a lifetime of hiding but I am trying. She wasn't sure she could accept a full transition but that is where I'm headed and I am finding it hard to tell her at this time. 

 

Your words of wisdom are there...i keep them in me and am trying to make sure I remember them when a relapse to my hiding comes upon me.

 

Thank you