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Cominging out to family and work


Traci Lynn

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In the last 3 days I have come out to my family and a coworker. My parents and sister live 2 states away, i have been putting off having "The talk" as I have no idea when I would next see them, but at 6 months into my transition I thought it is time. The first opportunity arose monday, my sister sent a birthday message to me, I texted back thanks love and miss you alot. When you get a chance call me I have something I need to tell you. 

An hour or so later the phone rang and I mustered up my courage and answered. It went haltingly at first, most of you know how difficult it is to tell your loved ones something so life changing, and in tears I said after some gentle coaxing from her, how will you feel about your brother becoming your sister? I waited nervously for an answer, and what it might be. She responded simply, i know you have been unhappy for along time, and no matter what you do I will always love you as my brother and now my sister. She went on to say she will support me and anytime i need advice or just to talk about it call her anytime day or night cause I am always here for you. 

That evening i had the talk again with my step sons, they live with us, 16 and 30. They both said it does change the way we feel and it must be a relief to get that off my chest. The oldest even said my friend Mattie has been transitioning for over 3 years and could probably answer alot of questions for you.

The next evening was the one I dreaded most, My parents. My mom answered, and we exchanged a few pleasantries before she said whats wrong son. I had started to cry knowing what I must do. Before I tell you its nothing health related, financial, or relationship related. As I proceeded and tripped and started and stopped several times my mom said your trying to tell me your switching from male to female arent you! Its okay son, I will love you no matter what. Me and your dad, we only want your happiness. So have you decided on a name? I replied I will keep my name, it fits now. I won't go by my nickname anymore Trace, from now on its Txxx Lxx only spelled Traci Lynn. That was my actual birth name. 

 

Okay so the coworker conversation:

Several weeks ago we had a training class for work, we were covering the questionaire for the census and the sex question came up. I work for the Census Bureau, anyhow there are two groups in the class, so the instruction say conflicting things. First it says sex either male or female based on your biological gender. Then a few sentences down it says however the individual identifies. The one group daid they were told only to do the first biological gender, our group was told how they identify. So a debate arose and everyone said things like some people identify as dinosaurs, some as objects. The strange thing was no one would say transgendered people. I wanted to say something/anything, but didnt want to out myself. So I remained silent, it bothered me for days and then weeks. So finally I contacted a coworker and talked to her about the whole incident and she remembered it, then she said wow that was like 3 weeks ago. It must have been important to you or something to still be thinking about that. I said in fact it is, i am one of those people. I started transitioning a few weeks before I started this job. She said look your secret is safe with me, and stop worrying, not everyone is as closed minded as alot of the people working here are. So in 4 days I have came out to alot of family and the co worker, so far all positively! I guess I am lucky, or luckiet than some. Thanks for listening!

Traci

 

Edited by Jani
Removed personal Identifying info.
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Wow, congratulations Traci Lynn!

That is remarkable progress - and bravery. I'm very impressed, and of course very pleased for you. That's such good news.

TA

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Good for you Traci Lynn. So glad it is progressing so far in a positive light. To be yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Just remember not everyone is accepting and there will be bumps in the road. 

Pick the wars you can win and walk away from those you can’t.

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59 minutes ago, Traci Lynn said:

she said whats wrong son. I had started to cry knowing what I must do. Before I tell you its nothing health related, financial, or relationship related. As I proceeded and tripped and started and stopped several times my mom said your trying to tell me your switching from male to female arent you! Its okay son, I will love you no matter what. Me and your dad, we only want your happiness.

This hit me like a lead ball. It nearly brought me to tears. My parents passed long ago but I would’ve hoped they would’ve responded to my ‘coming out’ in this exact way.  I love your mom...what a mom you have!  If your dad is anything like her, you are in good hands.  Thank you so much for sharing this...I needed that.


Warmest Regards and congratulations,

Susan R?

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Thank all of you, it was my greateat fear to lose my family. They are wonderful people

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  • Forum Moderator

Fantastic Traci! Kudos! Accolades! Promotions all around!

 

I'm glad the people closest to you... and one co-worker... accept and support you.

 

Hugs!

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This is awesome, Traci!  You have a great family, and that co-worker is hopefully the first of many.  Yay!!

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Thank you it is a promising start to the new me, it gives me hope and I am very grateful.

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Fantastic news! I hope that you have many more supportive people as you come out.

 

Hugs,

Brandi

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That’s great traci   I’m very happy for you. I bet it is such a relief getting that off your shoulders. And  the positivity from everyone one is awesome. 
hugs

Emily

 

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This is wonderful news and I know you feel better getting it out to your family.  Take a deep breath! 

 

Jani

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I admit I started to cry a bit over how beautiful your sisters reaction was.  Mine was the same and I can not explain the release of pressure and anxiety I had when she said this to me.  It all boiled up reading your post.

I am so happy for you hon and I know what it means.  We all do.

I was not as lucky with my mother but some you lose and some you keep.  That one is a biggy to lose but I have to live my life and I cant not be dragged down by others who do not understand or care to.  

I was equity surprised by how the folks around me at work and in my company have embraced me fully as Shawna and not one person has "got it wrong" yet.  Not one.  I truly did not expect this and it made my heart soar knowing "I could really do this" and finally be me.

I feel blessed.

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  • 2 weeks later...

OMpotato I am so happy for you, you're giving so much hope, I hope my surroundings will react like that same as my parents!! So happy for you! Personally I thing coming out is a ginormusly-giga-mega-potetoid step I am so proud of you

???

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