Transgender

[4raucous]

Hi I am a 60 year old Male to Female trandgender, but I never made a sucessful attempt to actually transsition officially. So I am still legally a male.  After many years of attempting to be a heterosexual male, and many relationships including being married, and divorced, and having children which I love all of them, but it confuse me. At this time in my life I question myself as a male, and I am unsure of my future because I still have a desire to go all in on making a legal change from a mtf. I have a heavy heart, and many scars, and I am afraid, and so I am here on this forum to hopefully help myself to decide what to do with my future. Because of my age and my family should I stay a male, and be as I have been over the years, or should I become the female that I have kept traped inside of me for as long, and for as far back as I can remember. That is my question to myself, and I am here as a way of searching for an answer. 

[ToniTone]

Hello and welcome to the forum! This place is full of supportive and friendly people, glad you can join us ?

 

I'm 33 mtf, and started transitioning a year ago while single, no children. But there's a number of folks here who have or had similar backgrounds who may have helpful insight. Check out the forum and ask around as you like. 

 

~Toni

[Erikka]

I have since a very early age that I was transgender, but do to many bumps and detours on my journey through life, it wasn’t until I was 67 that I was able to transition. It has been better than I thought possible. Do I wish I had done it sooner? Yes, but there were things in life I would have missed if I had transitioned earlier. We transition when we can. 

[4raucous]

1 hour ago, ToniTone said:

Hello and welcome to the forum! This place is full of supportive and friendly people, glad you can join us ?

 

I'm 33 mtf, and started transitioning a year ago while single, no children. But there's a number of folks here who have or had similar backgrounds who may have helpful insight. Check out the forum and ask around as you like. 

 

~Toni

Thank you.

[BrandiBri]

Welcome to the forum. It is never to late to transition. I too was married with 4 children. My marital situation was different as my passed away in 2016. I began transitioning shortly after. I was 69 at that time. I know how kids can affect your decision but you need to do what is best for you. 

3 hours ago, 4raucous said:

I still have a desire to go all in on making a legal change from a mtf. I have a heavy heart, and many scars, and I am afraid,

If all your children are grown, I would consider transitioning (my opinion, not trying to influence you one way or the other). I understand the fear. I found that for the most part, my fears were unfounded. I was afraid that I would be rejected by my children and that I would be attacked if I went out at night. The fact is that no one pays much attention as they are in their own world. I now can go out any time of the day, I just make sure that I am aware of my surroundings.

I can't tell you what to do, only you can make that decision. All I can say is follow you heart, it knows best.

 

Hugs from my fortress,

Brandi

[KathyLauren]

Welcome, 4raucous.

 

I, too, started asking those questions at age 60.  I didn't have kids, but I am guessing that your kids must be adults, or nearly so, by now, so they shouldn't be a major factor.

 

What gave me clarity was looking at how my future would be.  I have lived at least 2/3 of my life, so only a fraction of it is left in which to get things right.  When I looked ahead, I could see that, without transition, I would be miserable and depressed for the rest of my life.  And with transition, I had a chance to find the happiness that had eluded me to that point.

 

I came out to my wife and started my transition.  Three years ago yesterday, I came out to my neighbours and the whole community.  And here I am today, age 65, newly post-op, and enjoying  life.

 

Regards,

Kathy

[4raucous]

23 hours ago, BrandiBri said:

Welcome to the forum. It is never to late to transition. I too was married with 4 children. My marital situation was different as my passed away in 2016. I began transitioning shortly after. I was 69 at that time. I know how kids can affect your decision but you need to do what is best for you. 

If all your children are grown, I would consider transitioning (my opinion, not trying to influence you one way or the other). I understand the fear. I found that for the most part, my fears were unfounded. I was afraid that I would be rejected by my children and that I would be attacked if I went out at night. The fact is that no one pays much attention as they are in their own world. I now can go out any time of the day, I just make sure that I am aware of my surroundings.

I can't tell you what to do, only you can make that decision. All I can say is follow you heart, it knows best.

 

Hugs from my fortress,

Brandi

Thank you so much. 

[Lexi C]

Hey 4 raucous I sure everyone above would tell that the most important thing for you now is to seek out a Transgender Therapist or Gender Therapist...that will really help you in yr journey. Be safe, BE Proud and KICK ASS

 

[4raucous]

1 hour ago, Alex C said:

Hey 4 raucous I sure everyone above would tell that the most important thing for you now is to seek out a Transgender Therapist or Gender Therapist...that will really help you in yr journey. Be safe, BE Proud and KICK ASS

 

I know your right. It is good for me to hear that from others like yourself.  Thanks.

[susannah]

Welcome. As a new member myself, people here have been very supportive.  I am certain that people will be equally helpful.  

[Maid In Bedlam]

Welcome to the forum.

 

Age is most certainly just a number nand have you not heard? 60 is the new 40. So its all good. 

 

I went woman 2.0 at 47. But as im sure you have seen above. Im just a whipper snapper. So dont use age as a barrier. It really is not.

 

Hope to see you writing good stuff in the forum soon

 

 

MIB

 

 

 

[Tory Aoi]

It really is true that you're never too old to start.  I've often thought I was, and I'm not even 45 yet.

 

Welcome! ?

[Susan R]

On 4/20/2020 at 5:43 PM, 4raucous said:

Because of my age and my family should I stay a male, and be as I have been over the years, or should I become the female that I have kept traped inside of me for as long, and for as far back as I can remember. That is my question to myself, and I am here as a way of searching for an answer. 

@4raucous Don’t let age dictate your happiness.  You’re not too old. You may have decades to live as your true self.  If transition is right for you, even the journey can be exciting and fulfilling.  There’s no need to be afraid.  Things have changed from 20-30 years ago.  You have a more accepting society in general. There’s more support for us and allies are no longer impossible to find. You may experience a few setbacks along the way but many of us are truly enjoying our journey. We know it was the right thing for us.

 

I’m only a few years younger than you and I know that living as myself is the only way I want to continue living. I’m just lucky to have started when I did.  You may find this to be true for you too. As @Alex C mentioned, you might try to find yourself a good therapist who specializes in gender identity issues.  That resource will be one of the best ways to help you soul search and find which path is right for you.  You’ll also get plenty of help from this forum too. I find the more you put in, the more you receive.
 

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope to read even more.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?