The scrapbook

[Hellothere]

Once there was a time i was upset my baby book was a simple blurbbook, unlike my brother who has a scrapbook, a big one. Now, i don't mind as well, my baby photos and name aren't exactly something i wanna look at. Then i dug too far, my brother turned 18 recently. Before he was born, my aunt compiled letters from all of the family written to them. so we pulled it out to read. I simply wanted to know if i had that, shocker i didn't.

Guess what i have? A book that is just *family member* loves *deadname*. Every.single.page. And on top of that, every page is some kind of girly. Thats all it is is just my deadname repeated over and over with nothing else. Figures, my brother gets meaningful book of letters and i get a book that i never wanna see again.i feel bad, i should be thankful that they love me, but they liked the not even born girl. Idk not fun. Ah the joys of second child syndrome AND dysphoria. 
two brothers, one that looks back on his childhood happily and one that wants to lock up their old pictures and name in a box. Thanks world for a older brother to compare to. Thought i was done with that:/
sorry for the rant, just not feeing so cash money about it:/

 

[TTheta]

Dude I feel ya. My mom made scrapbooks professionally and mine were always pink. She passed away when I was 6 so I feel guilty about disliking the girly aspect to my books. 

 

But at least we can look back later and laugh. Well I hope we can find some humor out of the situation. :)) Hang in there, things will get better. 

 

I am a middle child (Of 6, 3 older,3 younger) but I understand not having the same love as the oldest or the youngest. I hate not having the same love, but I hate fake love even more. I hope the love you do get is real in the least :)) 

[Hellothere]

11 hours ago, Aidan5 said:

Of 6, 3 older,3 younger

oh god thats a lot. I already struggle with one, cant imagine 6. 
My parents do, im just very good at ignoring things that matter. And comparing myself to him, ive done it before i even realized i was trans. It got better then worse once i did realize that im trans. 
i hope one day i can laugh about it, i hope so for all of us. Trying to remember that i am not that girl and thats ok.

[TTheta]

7 hours ago, Hellothere said:

oh god thats a lot. I already struggle with one, cant imagine 6. 
My parents do, im just very good at ignoring things that matter. And comparing myself to him, ive done it before i even realized i was trans. It got better then worse once i did realize that im trans. 
i hope one day i can laugh about it, i hope so for all of us. Trying to remember that i am not that girl and thats ok.

Yeah it's pretty crazy..

 

Life is whack but we make the most of it :)) I am here for ya y'know 

[MetaLicious]

Hello, there, @Hellothere!  First, I want to say that I understand your feelings, and they are completely valid. What I am about to say is not intended as a defense of your parents, but just some food for thought that I hope helps you.

 

I am the parent of two children.  My first child had Apple photobooks of his first year that we sent out to everyone.  He was the center of the family since he was conceived.  My wife and I poured much energy into his care.  When the second child came, our attention was divided.  Neither child could receive all our attention, and many of the things we did for our first were impossible to find the time or energy to do for our second.

 

Having a kid is hard work, and first-time parents tend to go overboard, and exhaust themselves.  After the first kid, parents tend to scale back significantly.  It's not your fault, it's just a thing parents of multiple kids often go through.