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Partial coming out?

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Hey guys. When it comes to coming out, have any of you done it incrementally? I have been identifying as non-binary/transmasc for about 8 years now. But I've been getting more and more anxious and angry when people use my birth name, so I'm trying out names now. I think I found my name, but I've only been trying it for a week. Did you guys just know? I don't want to go back and forth on it. 


Now I'm unsure if I'm non-binary/transmasc or if I sort of landed on that as a middle ground for being straight FtM. I get very upset when people refer to me as female, present very much male, am choosing a male name, thinking of trying male pronouns, etc. So I'm working through this with my gender therapist, who I've just started seeing recently.

I'm not sure if asking one thing now and potentially more later is better, or asking for everything st once later. I'm sort of wondering how you all would approach this? --Rowan

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Emily michelle

I’ve just recently started hrt and I’m only out to my wife and sister. So yes I’m doing it incrementally and on my own Time. Which I need to be coming out to more people but the ones I need to come out to I don’t think they will be accepting. On the name I always liked the name Emily so I just used it. You don’t have to know what name you want right off the bat.When you find a name that speaks to you use it and don’t look back.

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I would suggest that you take your time, after all this is not a sprint but a marathon. I am glad that you are seeing a gender therapist, that was the best decision that I made. 

As for as the name, this is a personal thing. Some would pick a name that fits their personality, some, like me, just pick a name they like, (actually the name picked me!) My middle name was harder, I went through girls names from a to z and started over before Brianna fit. Some use a feminine variation of their given name. One nice thing about being trans is that you get to pick your name.




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I agree that taking your time would probably be best, I'm doing the same thing. I think slowly coming out to people one by one, on a need-to-know basis is my prefered method. Though, some people post their coming out to Facebook and tell everyone at once. It's really up to you and what you're comfortable with. 


As for your name, I went through a few only to land on one of the first names I was considering years ago. In my opinion, try a few names out for a while, and if you're not completely sold on a name, keep looking. 

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Ethan da potato

I think taking your time is important as well.

I came out to some friends in my boarding school to try for the first time my name and pronouns they were all supportive. So it was  pretty usfull as I could be Ethan in the boarding school and out *potato name*, for try outs it's pretty cool but not enough =3=

I came out to my boyfriend TWICE and he finally agreed to give it a try, he is just calling me "love" instead of Ethan too scared for now.

I came out well not really, I met a guy and when he asked my name, after thinking for ten long seconds I told him Ethan But I am kind of worried that some people know some don't and that they could make a mistake and out me. So I am planning on coming out to my parents and if everything is alright, I'll be out next year, but I feel like I am rushing as I am shting myself! So take your time! It's not funny to be scared with a count down in your head, I just feel I can't wait more that's all

Well now that sounds ironic, "wait, but I don't" hehe

As for my name I asked my mom how she'd call me if I was born a boy. She said Liam, Seth or Ethan. All english, I am french and I can tell that Seth is.. hard to pronounce for a french, as for Liam, I have a Liam in my class and it feels weird to have the same name, so here you go Ethan! ^^

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