Was this healthy?

[The Oldest Problem Child]

My parents discovered a slideshow presentation that discussed my gender and sexual orientation. They found it when going through my history as I wasn't doing that many at home assignments for school during our lockdown. They then yelled at me saying they didn't care about this stuff and I should focus on school. They then gave me 15 minutes to mentally prep coming out to them. After essentially having a mental breakdown as I now had to cram what I was planning on prepping a month or two in advance into 15 minutes. After I gave a short explanation of why I didn't feel ready to come out to them and wasn't really prepared they essentially said well too bad we already saw the presentation. They then spent about an hour explaining that it may just be all in my head and that I'm not really gender fluid and I'm just trying to fit in with my friends (I know one transman thats it). They then stated your to young to really decide anyway. Was this healthy because I feel really hurt. Honestly I'm willing to listen to anyone about this. Also just so people know I am currently doing fine my friends talked me down.

 

p.s. Sorry there if this is a lot to read,

[A. Dillon]

No, as you get around more on the forum this post is a breeze to read.

 

That is not a healthy way to deal with it at all. They were already looking around, if they found something like that, something so personal to you that you clearly didn't want them to see, they should say nothing and give you your time to come out. In the meantime, the perfect response would be to start even researching what those terms meant and consider if it might apply to you. My dad had a pretty unhealthy response, not as bad as yelling but not good; he just didn't believe it. Refused to call me Dillon or he/him, stopped talking to me almost all together, tried to send and show me articles about why I was mistaken. He is starting to come around a bit, not much but a little, he says that "he sees some evidence that I could be trans." This is after 7 months of me passing and living as male. It takes time for some parents, as much as you shouldn't have to try to be patient with them. In the end, it is them who miss out on knowing the real you, we as trans people are sadly burdened with the arduous task of guiding the cissies in our journey. Time, that is what all of you need.

 

If they continue to respond like this however, it is important to know when to back out. Do you think there is any possibility that they might hurt you? Or kick you out? If so, for now it is best for you to lie low and live as yourself when you are not with them, the most important thing above all is always your safety.

 

Hello, and welcome to the forum!

[The Oldest Problem Child]

Thanks Dillon, and don't worry they wouldn't hurt me physically, and they won't hurt me emotionally on purpose.

[Mx.Drago]

That wasn't right of your parents to look through your personal history, not cool and sorta creepy, they lose the trust star. Then to yell at you, saying they didn't care bout that stuff. Then force you to explain yourself, after yelling at you bout how they didn't care. Only to continue disregarding your personal feelings, after you've explained yourself. Fairly infuriating. At least they listened.

Don't matter if you're too young in their ideal deluded world. You feel these feelings now and are trying to figure it out, without being driven insane by crazy close minded types. Just give them time and don't let them intimidate you, just be honest with them, if they can be trusted and only then. They still need to make up for blatantly disregard of personal space and privacy. You are you, no matter what others say or think.

Not the healthiest response but it's manageable. Now just kill those subjects with A++. Then drop mic.