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A transgender in a Muslim family (muslims only with all respect)

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I was born as a male in the Arab World among religious Muslim family members. They treated me better before  some of my preferences like being attracted to guys and wanting to be feminine appeared to them. They tried making me remain as a man but it only pushed me deeper into this world. I eventually gave up on religion but not completely for i’m spiritual. My family is Sunni by the way.

Whenever the subject of marriage comes, i, the eldest, am the target to pray for mr to find my future bride/wife. They seem in denial.

It irritates me and what scares me most to haunt me at night is this fear of ending in hell according to their words for changing God’s creation.

I may not be religious but I have my belief of the afterworld and hell isn’t part of my plans. What should I do?

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