my coming out the good and bad mostly

[KymmieL]

Well while most of you know my story and what my coming out has caused. But for those who don't I will give a recap.

 

It must have been end of Aug 2018 when I came out to my therapist at the VA. I was scared to death. It was in a letter. It was toward the end of the session. I pulled the letter out of my pocket and gave it to her. Her reaction was MMM. and we discussed all kinds of things. She admitted she had limited knowledge of transgender therapy. She called another therapist she actually missed a meeting to come and discuss things with me. I began seeing the new therapist. My original had stopped seeing patients in person because some eye problems. 

 

The new Dr. I was seeing moved the the Omaha VA. I saw another therapist for a bit. I did the hole medical required avail. with actually my current therapist. She has been great.

So, I was out to the VA. now for family. When I came out to my wife, I don't think she really grasp the whole transgender thing. I have cross dressed for years. She must have thought it was something like that. When I told her I was transgender. She told me I know from the avatars you pay in games. That was about it for that time. In Oct 18. we went to Grand Island, NE for a REO Speedwagon concert. She actually got me a ladies concert shirt. Later when we were showering together. I was about to shave the hair on my chest. She said, Oh, Don't I like a little hair there.  I responded by saying well girls don't have hair there. She reply was what are you a woman. Ah yeah, I'm transgender. She went off about  calling girl and she etc.

 

It was pretty much it till Halloween 2019. I had an appointment in Ft. Collins, CO. So, I decided to dress feminine, sweater dress, coordinating leggins, short boots. Not much make up. I was feeling fantastic. I was myself. I wasn't scared one bit. I got home and the ceiling dropped on me. My youngest said it scared the Sh t out of him. my wife went off too. She says she will let me be a woman but won't be married anymore. She will file for the big D.

 

So, I slowed way down. Telling them I am stopping. I continued to take my spirono. I started voice therapy at the VA. even seen a GYN who has taken over monitoring my transition.

 

My middle son found out almost by accident, His girlfriend (mother to his 2 boys) I call her our daughter in law. Well she made a comment on facebook, saying That is right, Grandma Tim (real name) Then next time my wife visits them she opens up an tell them I am trans. Once she gets home, and tells me. I text my middle son and have him call me and we'll talk about what is going on with me. I find an ally with both him and his wife. they both totally support me.

 

Fast forward to Apr 30. I have been wanting to tell my oldest. I know I should have did it face to face. But I email him a letter. Shortly after I get a call from him, is this real?, ah yeah. OK, no matter what I still love you, Dad. I texted him on May 12, her was still mad at me. ??, I am being truthful to him yet he is mad at me. That was the last I talked to my son until June 4 when I accidentally hit call after texting him. We only talked for about a minute but No animosity. Well the day after I sent the letter to my oldest. He called my wife about it. She and my youngest tore into me about it.

 

So that is my story of my coming out escapades. Now I still need to come out to my 84 yr old Mom and my older sister. A family friend who I can almost guarantee will not accept it. Yet he was the one who teased me about being a girl because of my long hair as a kid. I know that was all in good fun, but news flash I am a girl.

 

Kymmie

[Erikka]

That is a very painful story. My best to you. My coming out took about a year. I get the hardest push back from my siblings. Extended family is accepting, mostly.

But you are just getting started and you have what sounds like high levels of baggage to go through. My only advice is this: be honest in all dealings with friends and family, be consistently authentic and realize you have one life to live....live its well.

Blessings to you in your struggles.

Hilsen fra

Erikka

[KymmieL]

Thanks, Erikka.

 

K

[ToniTone]

Thank you for sharing this hun and being vulnerable ? I know it's been rough with the fam, but you're still here with us. These feelings really don't just go away huh...

 

~Toni

[KymmieL]

Toni, I haven't found the switch to turn it off yet. I think somebody hid it. Most likely @ShawnaLeigh

 

Kymmie

[ShawnaLeigh]

I hid nothing!!!   At least I’m not admitting to anything .

 

@KymmieL I know your story and your pain. I’ve walked beside you since I became a member and we became fast friends.  I’m sorry things continue to be so hard for you with your family.  
I’m sure you know my feelings and my advice so I will not share them here.  Please just know my heart hurts over all of it.  
I will continue to be by your side from afar.  Hoping we connect in a week or so.