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  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 74 Guests (See full list)

    • KathyLauren
    • Charlize
    • KayC
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    • MomTGDaughter
    • DeeDee
    • Noah A
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  • Posts

    • KathyLauren
      Hi, @Lain and welcome!   I think we all start out despairing of ever looking feminine.  I know I did.  But I agree with the advice above: you have to work with what you have got.   One thing I didn't have was the money for facial surgery.  So I knew that I would have to make do with whatever improvements hormones could make.  I knew I would never be pretty.   So, imagine my surprise when I was getting ready to go to my support group, putting on lipstick, and I suddenly realized that I didn't recognize those lips!  And, a month or two later, it was the eyes.  My wife noticed it, too.  A couple of times, we'd be in the car, me driving, and she would stare at me and comment on how much my face had changed.   I'll still never be pretty, but when I catch a glimpse of my face in a mirror, I like what I see.  It is the face of a mature woman.  (I am 66.)   Work with what you have.  Some surgeries are options; some are not.  If you work with a therapist, who can help you with your confidence, that confidence will shine through and people will like what they see.  I hope you will, too.   Regards, Kathy
    • Charlize
      I have already voted.  I seriously can't believe my opinions will influence others but as a trans person i have one vote.  I'm married to another woman and our Supreme Court may soon endanger that union.  As a retired person, apart from  a small occasional income from working the farm, we need Social Security.  We paid into this plan all our lives, others still do but now somehow it is an entitlement.  Of course the wealthy don't have to contribute on all of their earnings.  New yachts help the economy?  The problem may not be handled in the presidential election.  Congress must change as well.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • KayC
      Isn't it WONDERFUL? ❤️
    • KayC
      Now, when I see old photos of myself its like I know that person .. but I don't really KNOW that person anymore.  Hard to describe.
    • DeeDee
      Hi Noah, I will send you a private message answering your questions so I don't hijack your thread and make it all about me! but I have found blogging to write my thoughts down on a regular basis has helped me work through a lot of the bigger thoughts and feelings.🙂
    • Noah A
      @Bobbi Jo That's huge! No matter your age
    • Astrid
      Hi @Lain, welcome to TransPulse.     Not being [fill-in-the-blank-here] enough is something that bothers many cis women, thanks to the insidious drumbeat of marketing.  For trans folks, many of whom wrestle with self-doubt, it can seem like it's a deal-breaker.  But I am in support of all the strong women above (and many others who haven't replied yet) who articulated why it's not stopped them from fulfilling who they know they are.   I have read over a hundred trans drama and romantic novels, before ultimately tiring of the genre. What 95% of them had in common was describing the trans character as "a natural" who, with a bit of makeup, a redo of their already long and full head of hair, and a killer bodycon dress on their petite body, wowed everyone and overcame the inevitable one or two anti-trans people inserted as an element of drama. Well, that isn't reality.  Particularly for those of us who are well past puberty before we act on who we know ourselves to be.   And, the whole concept of passing doesn't need to apply if, like me, you identify as trans non-binary. An AMAB, I definitely identify on the feminine side of the gender identity spectrum.  There are plenty of things I have done on my journey, including HRT, that have helped enormously.  It means I've been able to pretty much banish the bad old days of self-doubt, anger, and dysphoria.  I wouldn't want those days back, ever.  My journey is helping me arrive at a far more comfortable place than I could have imagined.   Keep in touch!  With best wishes,   Astrid
    • Shay
      @Lain first welcome. You have come to a place of wonder and understanding and women who will listen and provide advice based on facts and experience. I know that I won't look like I would love to look and being you are much younger you have a better chance to look closer to what you want but I remember the words the Jessica Lange character in the movie NORMAL from about 2003. Tom Wilkerson is her husband who is MTF and the least feminine body you can imagine. Jessica finally accepts him and helps him near the end in regard to dressing and make up. She says " you've got to use what you've been given and make it work for you." Just remember you are beautiful inside and outside and use what you have been given.love the you you are.
    • Willow
      Well church will be via Facebook only today.  When the weather is nice we gather outside but it’s raining off and on so that doesn’t work.  I had a new dress to wear too.   Willow 
    • Willow
      Good morning    I haven’t had much to add or felt like adding.  Sorry!   @KymmieLi think you got your answer or at least the next step.  Go for it!   @Emily michellesorry you got misgendered and got the bad news about your test.  I guess since you live in the land of ice and snow, you are going to have to start dressing for the weather.  I nice flew out of Detroit when it was -15 without the wind chill in short sleeves and a spring jacket.  Where I was going we weren’t supposed to take anything but summer uniforms.  No it didn’t bother me because I was used to it but the heat at my arrival sure did.  Good luck.   Willow
    • Billy
      Many thanks for your insights. It calms wlme down a little to read that finding you identy often also involves rediscovering your sexuality. At the moment, I am incredibly attracted to trans men, any of them, every single one I have met so far. No matter if they already look male or not yet. I really get rolled over by emotions. Sad part is, that I am not having these kinds of emotions for my wife.... 
    • Jackie C.
      OMG, I hadn't seen this one in the wild before! This is straight out of conspiracy theory territory. While I'm terrified, the psychology of Trump supporters and how it's developed since 2016 is really fascinating. Psychology is kind of a hobby for me. I wish I'd had the opportunity to study it more deeply,   Anyway, at least half of the democratic party are conservatives. Biden is a conservative. He would have been a Republican in the 80's, the same as Obama. There are something like twelve politicians in the democratic party that are actually progressive. The big ones get you "scary" YouTube ads with Halloween colors and dripping blood animations.   Finally, why do people use "socialism" like it's a bad word? Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security are all sodalist programs. People like those. Personally, I'm a democratic socialist. Socialism for needs, capitalism for wants. That lets everybody get what they need to live and still allows for the insane excesses of capitalism, just maybe tamped down a little bit. Also taxes. Why do people think taxes are a bad thing? Taxes are how we buy services in society. Taxes pay for the police, firefighters, roads, snow removal, the military, all those things we need to function. We're not a bunch of bearded (or leg-bearded for the ladies) pioneers scratching everything out of the dirt and making all our things with our own two hands anymore. We live in society. There's a buy-in if you want to participate.   So yeah, Biden isn't who I'd want for president. I'm settling because the other option is, in my opinion, infinitely worse. If you look at the situation, we've got two parties in the US. One is conservative, the other is openly fascist. That would be packing the courts, refusing to work with the other party, military against domestic targets, there's more but we'd be here all day. So yeah. I held my nose and voted for Biden. I'd rather not end up in a concentration camp. It's South and Central Americans right now and that needs to stop, but a central tenet in fascist governments is that there HAS to be an enemy to oppress. It's not going to stay "brown people" forever and this administration has already shown that it really doesn't like trans people. We're on the list.   For the inevitable "If you hate this country so much, why don't you leave it?" I'll say that it's hard to get accepted into another country and my health problems make it really difficult for anyplace you'd actually want to live. I think the real act of loving your country is doing what you can to change it into a place that isn't so terrible to live.   Well, that got heavy. Anyway. Vote if you haven't already.   Hugs! 
    • Billy
      Thank you all for your support and kind remarks.  I find it very difficult to go slow as life is pretty hard these days. And I want things to get better.  So today I asked my close friends and my brother to use a male name and male pronouns to me to see if it fits. They are very supportive. As I am currently away from home, I will also ask my wife if this is doable for her by email (no option to call).  This feels like the beginning of a marathon. I just hope to have enough hope and energy to get to the finish line. 
    • Noah A
      @DeeDee If you feel like it, maybe you can share a bit of your journey? How was it until you could identify as MtF? How your feelings evolved from questioning to now? How is your relationship with your body when you didn't question it before? Please just ignore those questions if they are not appropiate, and apologies if that is the case.
    • JillPilled
      Hi there Susan! Thank you, it means quite a bit to hear that about your shared experienced and insight as well that is quite substantial. Also for the incredibly warm welcome as well, I very much appreciate that too!   I completely feel you on at some point, having to bar out the individuals in your life that are contributing to negative-reception of your transition--in many ways, I feel the extent in which you tolerate their conflict with you at your core--the harder it can be to feel happiest about yourself. Through still trying to suit their goals or views about you rather than your own that are best for your well-being. It can be really tiring and in many instances not a rewarding commitment yes!   I've encountered that potential with many family members, so it's very relatable and I'm sorry for that happening to you. The difficulty sometimes that's posed in those decisions from those we think care for us/vice-versa, and see a complete and utter change around in this dynamic following transitioning, is way too immense I feel. Many individuals, be they within family or other circles who reject someone based on them revealing they can't handle what falls outside their own narrow perception rather than recognition/empathy for another person's true-identity/brain chemistry which makes up our inner selves and we were meant to be truly content in (others should accept this if they claim to be empathetic/'empaths' in this sense).   Also, there's something really hopeful about being joyful/unaffected by the cases you mentioned with the negative elements part of your family brought--to seek those more positive outlooks or developments as your focus, with 'lessons' guiding you along the path. Certainly too, 18 months is a massive milestone as well! I don't necessarily present in public as I should yet just a year in, I mostly keep to my room but that is certainly where I see an inspiring goal. Really meaningful post, that made my morning thanks! 😄   Same to you as well! And have a great start to the morning! -Jill    
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