Gender Roles

[Tara.S]

Hello,

I’m not opening a topic out of curiosity only but also to vent about a certain issue that frustrates me badly.

I do not mean to offend anyone regarding their sex or gender but i’ve been having enough with the terms of Gender Roles. As you might, or should, know, I live in Lebanon and my country takes such tasks (given to each sex) very seriously. Going for some errands, let’s get the guy for it. Preparing dinner? Let’s call the girl. My opinion: primitive and rubbish.

I believe every person should do what they see fits to their abilities and preferences instead of having things assigned by what’s between one’s legs (with all due respect).

As a MtF transgender, I feel used by society, including my parents,  who give me the tasks of labor automatically. I feel i’m going to explode for I’m dealing with people who were raised their whole lives on such conditions and convincing them i’m a lady would be like introducing the smartphone to a person from the Dark Ages. My family is very very strict about such things, repeating the “our man” and “you’re a man now” excuses. I’m just mad at them and myself for not being able to do anything for talking about it created a whole scene with my parents as if I said I was a terrorist. 

I’m moving to Canada next year so i’d be thankful for any info on the next steps to do there so i don’t get into this loop of foolishness over again.

Thank you again and my apologies if I let out my negative emotions take the best of me.

Tara.

[Dinaki]

I do understand your frustrations dear Tara.

 

Once you go to Canada, you can start opening up yourself a little, few small steps at a time. Life is indeed difficult at the beginning.

 

I had a friend in Athens (Greece) and he fought me a very good recipe of Lebanon "rice pilaf" and he also introduced me a female singer called Elissa (beautiful voice she has).

 

Here's one song that I do fancy Lebanese Night

[Jackie C.]

That's perfectly OK, you can certainty vent. I can see where being expected to be "the man" at every turn would drive you up the wall.

 

I'm not really the best fit for this. Both my spouse and I come from families where non-traditional gender roles were more-or-less normal. Both our fathers did the cooking (in self-defense in my dad's case, my mother's cooking is just TERRIBLE). Both parents worked. My father (or sometimes my grandmother) did all the household chores until I was old enough to help. Then they largely fell on me, etc...

 

When I got married, my wife and I tried "traditional" for about a month. It was an absolute disaster so we settled into doing the chores that suit us better. I'm the better cook. She runs most of the errands (unless they're in walking distance, I like to walk) and handles finances. I take care of cleaning up and household stuff. It was like that before I transitioned. It's like that now.

 

Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal here. Sure, there are people like that in the world, but part of the dating process is weeding out the people you'd be miserable living with. Just make sure whomever you have a relationship with thinks like you do and you'll be fine.

 

Hugs!