Surprised Yet Flattered by Attention

[Sally Stone]

I guess as socially active as I am, being approached by a man was inevitable.  In fact, I have been the subject of a man’s interest on a few occasions, which surprises me, given the fact that it’s pretty easy to recognize I was not born a woman. Not a single one of my personal encounters was a case of mistaken identity, at least I don’t think they were, instead, it was obvious to me my suitors were attracted because of the unique kind of woman I am.  Still, I have to admit that in each case, I was flattered by the attention.

 

The latest encounter occurred when I stopped by a favorite local restaurant and visited the bar for a glass of wine.  The only seat available (just prior to the pandemic) was a corner stool which had me seated across the corner from a gentleman nursing a beer.  He wasted no time introducing himself even as I settled into my seat.  I always get friendly greetings, so the hello didn’t surprise me, but I was taken aback when this particular gentleman engaged me in a full-blown conversation. 

 

I introduced myself and then we talked about where we lived, what we did for a living and what kind of music we liked.  Turns out, he was a connoisseur of classic rock and roll music and we ended up talking quite a bit about favorite bands, best guitarists and drummers and so on.  It was mostly friendly small-talk until he suddenly asked me if I had a boyfriend.  The question had me thinking a couple of things.  Did he truly not know what kind of woman I was, or, since I was presenting as a woman, did he just assume, a guy who dresses like a woman must surely be into guys?

 

Being married to a woman, I clearly didn’t have a boyfriend, and being married to a woman, obviously, I wasn’t into guys.  Consequently, I just said that I was in a relationship, but didn’t offer any details.  Undeterred, he invited me to an upcoming local rock concert featuring a Pink Floyd tribute band.   Since I was in a relationship, he suggested that we go simply as friends. I politely declined his invite thinking it would probably cause him to lose interest in me.  It had been my experience from previous encounters that once the man knew I wasn’t looking to hook up, he would quickly move on to someone else.

 

With this gentleman though, he didn’t seem put off by my unwillingness to accept his invitation and we quickly went back to small talk.  When he finally did get up to leave, he shook my hand, told it me it was very nice to have met me and he hoped we would meet again.

 

After he left, I pondered his advances and wondered just what it was about me that had fueled his interest.  I guess I’ll never really know, but whatever his motivations, it is nice to know that occasionally, my feminine presentation, garners attention beyond the obligatory hello.   

[Carrie]

Hello Sally 

Yes it does make you feel very good to know someone desires you as a woman. Enjoy it when it happens but be very careful. 

With you well

Carrie

[Susan R]

2 hours ago, Sally Stone said:

I guess as socially active as I am, being approached by a man was inevitable.  In fact, I have been the subject of a man’s interest on a few occasions, which surprises me, given the fact that it’s pretty easy to recognize I was not born a woman.

Sally, I’d be very surprised if you hadn’t had men approach you as you look 100% female to me. It’s not necessarily a given that this man you mention thought you to be anything but a female by birth unless you specifically told him.  I’ve been wrong assuming these things as on occasion my assumptions turned out not to be accurate.  It does feel good to be acknowledged in your presenting gender even if you aren’t attracted to the gender of that person giving you the attention.

 

I had a similar experience back in March on my daily walk. Because I had to get my wife’s and my Presidential Primary ballot dropped off at city hall, I decided to make that long walk from home to do it. I had a guy about half way there walking on an intersecting path with me near an upcoming corner. Before the actual connection occurred, I thought to myself, “Oh, this could be awkward.” Before I could could say hi he smiled said hi, are you going my way? I told him I was on my way to drop off some ballots. He asked if he could join me. LOL, right then I thought, “If she [my wife] drives by, this is definitely really going to be hard to explain.” Whether he knew I was trans or not is hard to say.  I’m presuming not because he was such a HUGE Trumpster and they usually have a disdain for people like myself. We had a very nice chat...mostly politics but at the very end I did mention I didn’t care for Trump’s views on the LGBTQ community (big understatement).  I thought this would out me but as I my turned into city hall he said thanks for the walk and he hoped we’d meet again. I wasn’t sure what I was happiest about—getting attention from an fairly attractive looking 35 y.o. guy or being able to interact successfully as a woman with a cis? guy without the trans issue being brought up by them.

 

Either way, I hope these interactions become more common. I don’t try to purposefully put myself into these situations but as a woman, it will likely happen now and again. Since my wife knows I like men too and since we are always in “full disclosure”, I did casually mention it to my wife, who btw, had no issues with it, whatsoever.

 

2 hours ago, Sally Stone said:

After he left, I pondered his advances and wondered just what it was about me that had fueled his interest.  I guess I’ll never really know, but whatever his motivations, it is nice to know that occasionally, my feminine presentation, garners attention beyond the obligatory hello. 

Sally, I was curious if you can enjoy the attention of men to some degree when presenting male? Is it possibly that it’s simply the affirmation of your womanhood you like or is there a slight attraction only when presenting as female? No pressure to answer...It’s just that ‘attraction‘ is very intriguing to me. Mine seems to have changed a bit over the last 2 years.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

 

[Just Lee]

Sally you're an attractive woman so it's only natural that you draw people to you.  

[Tori M]

7 hours ago, Sally Stone said:

I pondered his advances and wondered just what it was about me that had fueled his interest.

 

I had a couple of similar encounters, and in both of mine I know for a fact that they knew.  In both cases there were other women around.  The encounters were very pleasant, not overtly sexual, and the interest seemed very genuine.  It seems like one man said something about having a natural attraction to trans women, something about intrigue or understanding or something like that.  These weren't desperate men, they were 50'ish, attractive, gentlemanly, clever, and great conversationalists.  They seemed like they would be a good catch for any woman.  I, too, was left wondering what it is that attracts that certain type of man???  There were others just looking for a "kinky" (their thoughts) hookup, but apparently there is a rare type that has some kind of genuine intellectual or romantic interest and I would just love to know what that is.  If anyone knows or has any ideas, I'm really curious.

 

6 hours ago, Susan R said:

I wasn’t sure what I was happiest about—getting attention from an fairly attractive looking 35 y.o. guy or being able to interact successfully as a woman with a cis? guy

 

 

Me too.  What a nice, affirming experience.  I was high on it for days.

[Teri Anne]

It was bound to happen like you said you do whatever you think is right.

I have been out since 2008 or so and I have been approached many times and some guys can tell you are not a genetic woman right off and some can't or have never encountered one of us in the wild.

They may just be curious enough to not care but its the fact they found you attractive is a good thing.

Their reaction can vary as well so a little caution is advised. You can usually tell the good guys from the bad guys.

I don't drink so if I go to a bar or club I go with some of my genetic girl friends just for safety reasons.

I do like the attention 99% of the time and don't mind dancing with a few guys or just sitting and talking.

I don't consider myself attractive compared to the ladies I hang out with but some guys I guess like chubby/ fat girls so I am not going to complain about getting attention.