Hello

[BorderTerrierFan]

Hello, I'm a 19 year old depressed girl from Merseyside. 

For a long time I've been unhappy with my body and this has resulted in severe bouts of depression and self harming.  I've felt embarrassed and ashamed with myself over the way I feel about my body and what others might think about me for being different.  I was worried about how my family would react to learning that I was unhappy with who I currently am.

In the last few days everything has come bubbling to the surface and I have found myself opening up about my feelings to the Mental Health Nurse at my local hospital.  As a result of this I've now opened up to my Mum and Dad about my unhappiness presenting as a female and my desire to present as male and they have been very understanding and supportive.

I've always liked wearing boys clothes and a couple of years ago I convinced my Mum to let me get my haircut short so it wasn't a great surprise for them to learn that I was unhappy presenting as a female.

My wish is to have surgery to have my breasts removed so that I can have a flat chest so that I look more like a male.

My Mum and Dad told me to have a look at a forum such as this one so that I can see for myself that I'm not alone in how I feel about my own inner self and identity. Hopefully being here I can get some sound advice about the actions I need to take to make this journey happen so I can find happiness and inner peace.

 

[Charlize]

Welcome.  You are certainly not alone in your feelings.  Knowing only that helped when i first arrived here.  I'm glad you are now open and able to be honest with your family.  I am sure that therapy can help you as well.  I know that helped me with the guilt, shame and fear i felt just for being myself.  This journey to self acceptance can be hard but being with understanding others can be a great assistance.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Timber Wolf]

Hi BorderTerrierFan,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

You are not alone anymore!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

[KayC]

Welcome, BorderTerrierFan! and nice to meet you.

 

There are others on this Forum who are in very similar situations as yourself, so I hope you can connect with them soon. 

Also, it was a great sign of strength and courage to reach out to your mental health professionals, and I encourage you to continue with that support if you can.  Also, such good fortune to have loving and supportive parents.

Wishing you all the best❣️

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, BTF.  I'm glad that you're parents are being supportive and recommended that you search out places like this one.  I think you made a great choice, but then again, I'm biased.  ?  The journey is a long one (especially in the U.K.) so have patience but also be persistent in asking for what you need.  Look around the forums and ask all the questions that come to mind.  We'll be here for you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Pallas]

Welcome to the forum! 

I hope you will find what you need and want here. 

 

I haven't been in a depressed state as yourself, I'm sorry to hear you have gone through that. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to personally message me (or reach out to whoever on this forum!). 

I will, however, say that I do feel I am also perhaps not in the right body. (FtM? Transmasculine?) 

I am still figuring it out myself. It sounds you have a much clearer understanding already of yourself. 

 

Indeed, I suggest talking openly about it with people who are professionals and friends/family who are supportive. So it's great your parents are and even have suggested for you to reach out and be on a forum!

 

Good luck with your journey. 

[BorderTerrierFan]

Thank you for the kind words and making me feel welcome here x

[Pallas]

19 hours ago, BorderTerrierFan said:

Thank you for the kind words and making me feel welcome here x

 

No problem, really! :) 

Take care, BorderTerrierFan. 

[SaraAW]

Welcome BorderTerrierFan! I just came out to my parents very recently, so I know how tough that is, takes a lot of courage. It is great that yours were so accepting and sounds like they really care about you.  While I am working on transitioning the other way (MTF), as others have said here, you're not alone. We are all a big supportive and loving second family here. Hope you have a wonderful day! Hugs!